It's THEM

I have this instinct (and I think many people have this) that when something against me where I want to blame "them".

It's so easy to do.

But this doesn't help me. Finding blame doesn't help me.

We can't control what happens to us, but we can control what we do with what happens to us.
When we assign blame we give up control.

It's good practice to learn to own everything that happens to us.
Unfair and bad things WILL happen, but if you own them, you can shape what they do to you.

So stop blaming "them" and own your response.