My Riffs

It's been a year of ups and downs, good and bad. Just like every preceding year and every coming year. Learning to ride the waves of life has been a huge part of 2016 for me and this blog has been part of that effort. I'm learning that I am in control, regardless of what life throws at me. So, I'm wishing everyone a great 2017, regardless of what's coming down the road. Choose kindness, choose happiness and let's have a great 2017! God bless!

The amount of joy you have isn't parallel to the amount of stuff you receive Many poor people have joy and many rich people are sad. Money and possessions are not precursors to joy. A decision is the precursor to joy. Decide to find the good and be happy. You will always be surrounded by things that could steal your joy. Finding joy in giving and people. Find joy from within but for things outside you. Joy is found in giving and others. Not in receiving and self.

An observational post... Regardless of place or situation: Unhappy people are going to be unhappy. Negative people are going to be negative. Complainers will complain. Joyful people will be happy. Positive people will be positive. I've learned that geography or situations actually have little to do with joy, happiness and positivity. Certainly they have bearing on ones well being and moods, but for any length of time, they have little bearing. The good news about "you are who you are" is "you can be who you want to be". You don't have to be negative, unhappy, angry, complainer...

So and so is a _______. This person always ________. This situation is because of _________. They're _________. You may be wrong about what you think, assume or even "know". We make judgments and apply labels with precious little information and background. This goes hand in hand with the post about shoes that don't fit . What if we stripped our labels from people? What if that person isn't _________. Maybe we can understand why they behave in the way they do. There is a reason for how they act, or for the reason you've applied that label. And the reason is likely different than what you think. People generally act the same in given situations. We just like to think things like "I would never do that" or "I wouldn't handle it like them". But the thing is we don't know. And furthermore we likely would handle things similar to them, we're all humans. Let's cut each other some slack. In fact let's get behi...

There are times our minds are capable of some crazy things. Crazy dreams. Crazy imaginations. Crazy actions. Have you ever asked yourself, "why did I say that?" or "why did I do that?". People allow their brain to override good common sense so often. Cigarettes is a great example.  It's not even debatable that smoking is bad for you, but somehow a lot of people override their minds and smoke. There's countless other examples of us overriding our good common sense. The danger is overriding good, honest thinking. We often won't allow our brains to explore things beyond our comfort zone. Doing so hinders our empathy. It hinders our base of knowledge and understand. Don't override your mind when it comes to fully understanding something. Of course, the caveat is to not be a unfiltered open mind that just wildly accepts anything. That's not the point of this at all. The point is to allow yourself to consider all angles of an issue or top...

In the Christmas moment(s), its innately easier to be friendly and charitable. We would have to think charitable giving goes up around the holiday season. That's in the moment. The challenge is carrying that "goodwill" forward outside the moment. It's somewhat easy and natural in season and more difficult outside the season. I'm challenging myself to carry goodwill forward from Christmas throughout the the following year. Part time charity is a good start, but full time charity is the goal.

A few days per year it's necessary to press pause and clear the agenda. Some pause days are dictated by the calendar and some pause days we need to fit into our calendar. Today is a calendar dictated pause, thankfully. The pause is so necessary though. Merry Christmas to everyone!

Here we are, Christmas Eve 2016. Christmas in 2016 looks a lot different than it did when it started, and that's okay. But something happens the older something becomes. It is harder for the original meaning or purpose to carry through true and unaltered. The older something becomes the higher the chance the meaning or purpose behind it is no longer the same. So the challenge is to go back and find the original meaning or meaning or purpose. If the meaning or purpose has altered, the second challenge is to refocus and remain true to the original meaning or purpose.

I have previously written that we should listen to our critics. Our critics probably have some important insights, if we're willing to listen. Here's a link to one of the posts . However, if you're the one doling out criticism, be advised, it almost never works. Criticism is the worst way to try and change or help somebody or something. It usually has the opposite affect. For today, here is the text of an incredible poem called "Father Forgets". (Audio of this is below the text) FATHER FORGETS W. Livingston Larned condensed as in "Readers Digest" Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside. There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I s...

Thomas car caught on fire. Luckily it ended up being not as bad as it looked. His car is still in working condition.

All emotions are given for a reason. Even the less desirable ones like fear, sadness and anger. There are good reason for these less desirable emotions, they just need to be managed a lot closer than emotions of joy and other positive ones. Bad emotions tend to move fast and override more sensible emotions. Fear is an interesting feeling or emotion. It's a very finicky emotion. In some cases it is a great protector. It protects us from potential physical harm. We feel fear and may walk around a dark, wooded field at night. That's a great thing. But fear is finicky. It can be a good preventative emotion, but is a terrible motivator. Doing something out of fear is rarely a good thing. Doing something out of fear usually means the following: 1. You don't understand the "something". 2. You likely are making a bad decision when under the influence of fear. Fear causes us to make illogical and rash decisions. 3. The fear will inhibit you to perform to your...

Today is the shortest day of the year in the northern hemisphere. This day is known as the winter solstice.  It got me thinking about how much we can't control. I have no say in how much sunlight we get each day. No say in the weather, my ethic background, my features and gender, and so many of the things that happen to me. The person cutting me off in traffic I have no control over. The lights I have to obey while driving. The price of gasoline. The value of my currency. What other people do. But those things only change my decision making process, they do not render me unable to make decisions. Life is all about the response. With all this happening around us that is seemingly out of our control, we still are able to retain full control over our selves. It matters less what happens to us than how we respond. We know, scientifically, a good attitude affects our health. We know positive thinking affects our health. We know attitude is everything. So today on the short...

Today's post is super late. And I don't have a really good thought (not that any of the previous throughs were good :). Sometimes the most important thing is simply showing up. A lot of life can be mundane and kind of ordinary. So there are a lot of times where showing up is enough. Sometimes showing up is all you gotta do. And that's okay.

There's the drama and the noise and then there's the truth. Usually you have to strain the drama and noise out and see what the truth is after that. We usually listen to the drama and believe the noise, neglecting the truth of the issue.

I love you You're important to me Thank you You can do it I'm proud of you I was wrong I'm sorry What are some others that I may have missed?

Where someone finds their worth is where you will see them spend their resources. Time, talents and money. If we can find worth in important things, we can spend our resources on important things, like people. The anti-thesis of meaningful places to find worth would be in a celebrity. A celebrity finds worth most often in social life and having others praise them, all in a very shallow manner. This isn't to say all celebrities are bad or that they don't do anything good,  but they  seem to find worth in a very fickle social system. Worth can be found within ones self or within a very close circle of people who matter to you. Wide acceptance and popularity is a bad place to find worth. It's hollow and fickle.

There is a frequent problem that occurs when a driver of a vehicle starts to lose control. They will often try and correct the direction of their vehicle with a swift and hard turn in the opposite direction, something known as over correcting. This causes the vehicle to lose further control. Often the right way to handle the situation is attempting to slow down or a much smaller adjustment. The lesson is to be very measured in response to perceived problems. It is easy to exasperate a current problem. If something is off course it is more susceptible to exasperation. Measure twice before responding to problems of any sort. The wrong response can easily make the problem worse. And in any time dealing with human problems (most, if not all problems are directly related to humans) remember that love is key.

Being silent is hardly a neutral position. Being silent can be interpreted as different things: 1. Fear. Fear of being misunderstood, fear of being criticized, fear of being labelled. 2. Acceptance. Silence can be interpreted as acceptance. 3. Guilt. This is similar to fear, but guilt alone can also render one silent. Being silent has it's place, no doubt. Timing is important, but being silent isn't a good thing when your voice is needed. Speak up, your voice and perspective is needed. Because when you don't say anything, you're saying something.

Life is a continual rotation of seasons. Some seasons have similarities, but all are unique. In each season, good and bad, it's easy to forget that another season is quickly approaching. When things are good, we don't prepare for the bad. When things are bad, we don't prepare for the good. There are at least two lessons to learn here: 1. Don't get so caught up in the present that you forget about your future. We can get so caught up by the present and depending on where you're at, it can make you feel hopeless or sometimes make you feel too comfortable. Of course live in the moment, but don't be blind to the fact that things will be changing for you. 2. Prepare for the future. In times of abundance save and store up for future famines. This applies to finances but much more. Save up for future heartaches and disappointments. Save up for tragedies. Prepare also for abundance so you can handle it when a season of abundance arrives. Never get too high...

We all want to score an "A" for effort. Unless the effort is spent on spinning ones' tires. It's unfortunate, not all efforts are equal in returns, even if equal effort is given. Being smart about our efforts is equally important as putting the effort out. If you put all your effort into spinning your tires, you will run out of fuel and inhibit your abilities in other efforts. But putting your efforts into some things can have positive momentum spinoff. Getting traction in one area can create traction on other areas. Put the effort out there and match it with wisdom. Blind effort speeds up the burnout process.

Nature for the most part is a seamless, well functioning system. Everything outside nature is a disaster. Meaning, once humans enter the equation, that nice seamless system is disrupted. Things stop fitting together. Systems break. We build things and have to figure out how they will integrate or be structured. We enter into relationships and have to figure out how to make it work. We create systems in things like politics that are inherently broken and were constantly trying to figure out how to make them work. Everything in the human realm doesn't seem to just seamlessly fit together. Being human means figuring out constantly how to make things work. How to integrate things. How to make things fit together that seemingly don't fit. How will you make this situation work or fit? How will you overcome this problem? It's what makes us human, we will figure out a way. It doesn't work out of the box, but we will find a way.

Let's not downplay struggle. If someone is struggling, they're trying. Struggle builds. If you're in the thick of it don't run from it. Struggle and get stronger. You'll come out wiser, better and more mature.

Growth doesn't occur in a smooth linear fashion. There are fits and starts, setbacks and accelerations. Just stay on the path and you'll end up where you need to go.

Congratulations! Today is your day. You're off to Great Places! You're off and away! You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go. You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care. About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there." With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street. And you may not find any you'll want to go down. In that case, of course, you'll head straight out of town. It's opener there in the wide open air. Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you. And then things start to happen, don't worry. Don't stew. Just go right along. You'll start happening too. OH! THE PLACES YOU'LL GO! You'll be ...

Once you embark on a journey to some place, or some thing, the journey will take an unexpected turn. There will be an unforeseen barriers or challenges. The landscape will shift and require you to adjust and possibly keep re-adjusting. During the journey you may feel lost and not know whether to head back to the beginning or to push forward, or maybe to end the journey. People will fail you. Tools will fail you. You will get lost during the journey. And it will be difficult to continue forward. But you have to remember why you started the journey and look forward. Why you started is the constant in the storm, it's the unwavering purpose. This goes for businesses, relationships, product developments, pursuits and journeys of all types. When you get lost, remember why you started and look forward and keeping looking forward until you see a flicker of daylight.

If something is good enough, the temptation and unspoken pressure is to leave it. When something gets good you get comfortable. And comfort kills, I wrote about that here . It takes a whole lot of honesty and courage to take something from good to great. Taking good and making it great means saying good isn't good enough. Being unsatisfied with good means you are taking an unpopular position and will be heavily criticized. Many people get upset when you say good isn't good enough. It pushes people from a place of comfort. It's uncomfortable to admit that your place of comfort will ultimately be your demise. Courage is pushing the needle forward towards greatness and not accepting good. There is time and place to accept good, but that is only when greatness is not attainable. And there are those situations. But when greatness is an option, here's to the ones not afraid to not accept just good. Just good will ultimately bring about decay and demise. The rel...

Time is finite and maybe our most precious resource. Respect others time more than your own.

Emotionally driven people make decisions based on if something feels right. Logical or cerebral people make decisions based on if something makes sense. Both approaches at times break down though as an exclusive method for determining decisions. Sometimes action is needed that defies logic. Some action is needed that defies emotion. A self aware individual knows the limits of both approaches and can measure which approach is best on a case by case basis

If you're in the middle a rough stretch, I have some important advice... Go through it. Don't try and get out of it. You're always better off having gone through a hardship or difficulty. Escaping it or taking the easy way out leaves you weaker, not stronger. Embrace the hard and difficult. Your future self will thank you.

It would be a good exercise to occasionally if not routinely try on shoes that are uncomfortable and don't fit. No, not physical shoes, but the metaphysical shoes of someone other than yourself. Try on the shoes of a homeless person. Try on the shoes of someone who you fundamentally disagree with. Try on the shoes of someone with a different religion, persuasion or belief system from yourself. Try on the shoes of a broken, hurting individual. Try on the shoes of someone with mental illness. Try on the shoes of someone with a terminal illness. Try on the shoes of someone who has lost something. Try on the shoes of your elders. Try on the shoes of the next generation. It's the oldest analogy out there possibly, but we shouldn't judge somebody until we've walked a mile in their shoes. At that point, I'm convinced all judgement would cease as we would understand, removing the ability to judge. Judgement shows lack of understanding. Wearing the uncomfor...

Because you will find a way.

The most challenging form of being kind is, being kind to those who cannot help us, or those who we don't tend to like.  Kindness is one of the most important human actions.  Kindness helps others become stronger. If you want to help someone, you're kind to them. Kindness and love go hand in hand. In being kind to others, we cannot forgot probably the most important starting point in kindness... that  is, being kind to ourselves.  If being kind to someone will help them grow, how can we expect to personally grow by thinking negative and harmful thoughts about ourselves. If you cannot have a kind view of yourself, you likely will be unable to have a kind view of other people. A person who dislikes themselves will most likely dislike other people and in turn be unkind to them. Kindness starts within ourselves, towards ourselves. If we want to grow and flourish, it takes love and kindness towards ourselves. This is obviously not about excusing our...