My Riffs

Life has a way of distributing things. Things we like and things we dislike. The things we like are easy to take, and often we feel we deserve them. But the things we don't like...? Well, we want to shirk those. To blame others for them. But for whatever reason, there are things that every single person is left with that they don't like or want. I've learned that the best way to handle such things is to completely own them. Whether we feel they're fair or not. By owning them, we take away much of their power. When we disown or shirk them, they own us. Shirking responsibility doesn't placate the responsibility, it merely means we can't control its destiny. So owning your responsibilities, both asked for and unasked for is the best way to handle them. To confront them head on and own them is the way to handle your responsibilities. Liking it doesn't matter. What's best for yourself and others is what matters, and owning your responsibility is the bes...

You don’t really know what you have until you give up control. When you control everything in your reach ou don’t know why you really have. When you let go, things behave more naturally and then you know what you have. There’s a lot of freedom in letting go and not controlling. The odd thing is, letting go of many things ends up making them better. So let go of some things you’ve been tightly controlling and see what you truly have.

There are leaders and there are followers. Leaders bear more responsibility for their actions because their actions influence more people. Followers still bear responsibility though. Their actions are equally important in determining their own future.

So much of who you're becoming and what you're becoming is determined by how much truth you're willing to speak and face. Speaking truth shapes the world around you like nothing else can. Facing truth shapes yourself like nothing else can. Honesty isn't the best policy, it's the only policy. Everything else is a sham.

Many think quality of life is tied to finances, or possessions... But the true quality of life measurement can be found in the quality of your relationships. The richest people with no or bad relationships isn't rich. The poorest person with great relationships is rich.

Having knowledge or wisdom is one thing. But being able to articulate it is another. Those who are able to articulate their ideas are much more powerful than those who just have ideas.

What value does my opinion hold? It depends on how much value the listener gives it. I'm learning it's better to reserve your opinion unless it's asked for. (yes, this is technically an opinion:)

Finding the reason behind the action is as important as the action itself.  Actions with wrong “why’s” end up doing damage.  So the reason why you do something is as important as the thing you’re doing. 

Life has many opportunities to get onto the roller coaster. The roller coaster is usually things like dramas, tangents, fears, fantasies and other things that don't have much value. We can be tempted to jump into these things, because they have some type of draw to them. But how can we help ourselves, and how can we help other people, when we are on a roller coaster? Stay on the platform. You can reach and help them from there. You can be steady and sure footed from the platform.

Often we don’t tally up the total price before we do something. We may think of the startup cost, but we don’t think of the ongoing costs and the final cost. Thinking of the final cost would effect whether we buy in at all.

Some people who spend a lot of time in their minds kinda go crazy. Think, but maintain connection to reality.

As you get older, you generally get to know yourself better. You learn when you are reaching your limits. You learn when you're needing rest. Or you know when you need a new challenge. When you're younger you don't quite know these things and you end up with a rougher ride. The quicker you can learn your state, the better.

There’s a saying, “fake it till you make it”. And I can think of some places where that actually may be a good strategy. But it’s not a good general rule to follow. Being prepared is better. I’ve seen people fake it and never remember to stop. It’s best not to pretend. It’s better to be real. Faking it is probably bad advice.

Never underestimate the power of the influences your life. They are shaping who you are more than you may be aware even. When I think about who I am today, it's roughly the collection of traits from the people I've let be most influential in my life. So where you aim is of absolutely criticality. It's worth the exercise of going though a mental list of who the influences in your life are. Is it figures from pop culture? Or is it your parents? Or is it a figurehead or ideal? Know who your influences are, because that's where you are heading and who you will become.

Nobody has ever become strong by going through easy things. If you know someone strong, you can guarantee they have been through some really tough stuff. Let tough times strengthen you, not make you weak. The difference most often is attitude.

Being just jealous accomplishes nothing. It is actually detrimental. But if you feel jealous, use that to live your best life. Often the difference between yourself and who you're jealous of is simply they got to it. So do the same as them... Get to it!

Time is so important, many of us carry it on our wrist with us all day-everyday. If not on our wrist, we pull our phone out on averages of 80-150 times per day to check time (and other notifications). It's a good reminder how important it is. Being aware of the time is critical and we all need to know the time to have a functioning society. Even in more primitive periods of history, time was just as important, even without a deep knowledge of it. Daylight and seasons were critical in surviving and thriving in those days. And today it's even more important. A couple seconds today can make a difference of getting something or missing it. How would we live differently if we saw our life as a timeline and were aware of exactly where we were at on that timeline? Based on averages, I am just a bit over 50% through my timeline. That's a very humbling and motivating thing to acknowledge.

The things you do on the daily matter. Moreso then what you occasionally do. The cumulative effects of a daily routine will far outweigh the effects of any other part time activities. What does this mean? It means things like health and close relationships need to be tended to daily. Mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. Your closest loved ones need to daily be connected to you. You skip some simple things on a daily basis and you will get some big problems. But if you take care of a lot of small things on a daily basis, you will achieve some really great things.

I'm a parent, and I want to provide the best possible life for my children. I've seen kids come from good and bad parents both, and end up the opposite of their parents. The means you can become good even when you've been taught bad. You can use the bad to learn good. You can also be taught good, but not appreciate it and choose bad. It seems the power is in the individual. It seems our desires eventually make their way out. So if we have an inner desire and it's not a good one, we have to internally shun it. If you feed that desire it will eventually come out. You don't have to repeat the bad you have received in your life. You can desire better and produce better. The good news is, the choice is yours.

Respect can’t be demanded. It can’t be purchase. It can’t be stolen. And there aren’t really shortcuts to respect. It takes time and effort. It takes a long time to gain and a short while to lose. It’s always earned, never given. So hold it as a prized possession when you have gained some.

Love is almost always a multiplier, not a divider. I can think of a couple rare and extreme instances when love could be considered a divider. But by in large, love is a multiplier.

A big problem in today’s society is people don’t like responsibility. This is on so many levels. From people not wanting families to people not accepting responsibility for their problems and issues. But by throwing away responsibility we throw away power. If we own it, we can fix it. Or we can make it better. So own your problems. Own your weaknesses. Then you can better them.

If you don’t put the effort in, you won’t get the desired result. Unless the desired result is mediocrity. And in some ways being mediocre is worse than being bad. It’s not a good place to be. So put in the effort to escape the hold of mediocrity. Mediocrity will get you nowhere, slow. At least being bad will get you nowhere, fast.

You won’t get far if you’re always only meeting the minimums.  You won’t get far if you’re always going maximum either though.  So know when to only meet the minimums. And know when going to the maximum is best.  Sometimes you want to go maximum. Sometimes you want to go minimum.  Make sure your efforts are measured out intentionally. 

What does worry accomplish? It's hard to come up with any solid answers. But worry can consume us. It can take our sleep and take us from living in the present. Replacing worry with hope is one of the best moves we can make.

It's amazing what is learned during silence (on your part anyway). I've learned the most in the following ways: - Watching - Listening - Reading It seems the only way to learn talking is to repeat what you're being taught. So if you want to learn, make sure you're listening more than you're speaking.

Here is something I’ve learned in life, and it’s a valuable lesson to learn... I don’t have to always be right. Even if I am right, I don’t have to always prove it or make others see it.  Sometimes it’s fine being the only one who knows you’re right.  The energy it takes to prove how right you are isn’t worth it.  The good thing about being right is, truth always prevails. So if you’re right it will be proven on its own, no extra effort required. 

Knowledge is power. But what is wisdom? I think wisdom maybe be more like finesse. I do know wisdom will take you further than knowledge will. Wisdom guides through the unknowns when knowledge runs out.

You will only grow where you admit you need growth. Or you will only learn where you admit you don't know something. You only heal where you admit you're broken. It Seems being honest with self is a prerequisite to any type of growth or improvement. Being honest with yourself may even be harder than being honest with others. The more honest with yourself that you are, the more effective you will be. You will only become the person you are meant to be if you are honest with self. It all starts there.