My Riffs

It’s interesting to think back over the last decade.  Highs, lows and in betweens. Many lessons learned.  Friends found and lost.  I generally stay away from spiritual topics here, but all I can say is I’m grateful to have God.  Looking back over the last decade, I see one consistent thing, the love, grace and mercy of God. 

It's been a great holiday season thus far. What's funny though is, I'm missing my routines. But when you get into your routines for too long, you want a break from them. But routines are necessary to be productive. They're actually necessary for us to function in society in a successful way. They're also necessary for our health, mental and physical. A few days without routine is a reminder to myself that they're not such bad things after all.

We always base things from where we are. But I’m doing so forget that everyone is in a different place. Trying to remember people are in a different place from you will help you understand them better. It will help you communicate with them more effectively. It will help you be more empathetic towards them.

Almost two years ago I posted some tips on a Digital cleanup. You can read that here :) Instead of New Years Resolutions, try New Years refinement. The idea is this: see what unnecessary things you can remove and what complexities you can simplify. Rather than swinging for the fence and hitting a home run, do something much more manageable and realistic. Some ideas: - Digital cleanup as per the linked post above (unsubscribe, etc) - Extricate yourself from activates and commitments that you aren't passionate about - Simplify your routines - Cleanup your diet - See where you can trim your budget - See where you can trim your time resource (I got an AeroPress for Christmas, that gives me about 4 minutes a day back :) I'm kinda joking on this one, but in reality that adds up over a year for a total of 24 hours saved. WOW! - Clean your closet, room, house and get rid of unnecessary stuff - Take time to slow down every day - Turn your notifactions off, your devices of...

Statistically speaking, New Years Resolutions don't work. Make a resolution for tomorrow instead. Don't wait till January 1. Also, make your resolution realistic. Maybe break a big resolution into several stages to make it more realistic.

Time for a check point. Are you let down today? Do you feel satisfied or unsatisfied. Are you happy or sad? There can be a letdown after days like yesterday. But there doesn't have to be. The answers to these questions are the key to where you place your worth, fulfillment and happiness. Hopefully you're happy and fulfilled today!

A very Merry Christmas to everyone who reads this! Much love to everyone!

Many, many kids are looking forward to tomorrow. That being Christmas Day. And of course with that, there will be disappointments and probably quick letdowns. However, for today they are so excited. And that's exactly the reason we should live a life full of hope. It's so much more fun anticipating good things. You're better off having some disappointments than living in despair. Anticipation is fun, so expect and anticipate good.

I read a good quote today from Hippocrates "The Father of Medicine". "Before you heal someone, ask him if he's willing to give up the things that make him sick." This is so good. Before helping someone, I think that is a very good question to have answered. Otherwise, you're not actually helping them.

I wonder what percent of our assumptions are correct? My guess is it’s a lot lower than we would like to believe. It’s not safe to rely on your assumptions. Ask questions or investigate. Don’t trust your assumptions. If you’re quite sure of something than it’s probably not an assumption. If you’re not so sure, it’s most likely an assumption and there’s a good chance you’re wrong.

When you're forced to be reactive, it's almost never a good thing. When possible be proactive. Things will happen in life that you aren't expecting and your reaction is of utmost important. There are also lots of times we can prevent such situations if we're proactive. Being reactive is a main consequence of procrastination.

I read a quote that said to love difficult people, cause you're probably one of them. If we only had the perspective from other peoples view we may see how difficult we actually are. With that in mind, maybe we can be more kind to difficult people :)

Sometimes we get so focused on the destination that we miss gaining souvenirs from the journey.

I'll start this by saying I believe in being successful and aiming for success. That's not a bad thing, it's a good thing. When it becomes a bad thing is when you place all your hope in being successful. The people who have reached the pinnacle of success in their given area of practice are often the most lonely and the most unfulfilled. So don't mistake success for happiness or fulfillment. Success is just something to aim at and to not base your happiness on. I think we can safely say success isn't everything it's made out to be. I would rather have a few good relationships, food, shelter and clothing rather than be a lonely and empty person who has achieved success above everyone else in my field. Sometimes true success is a whole lot less flashy than we think.

You could read an exchange between two people but it wouldn’t even begin to explain everything that is going on. The words would only catch a snippet of the dynamic. And this is the challenge of communication. We have to make decisions and judgments based on what’s being communicated to us. But it’s hard to communicate effectively. So much of communication is non-verbal so written forms aren’t perfect. Yet verbal communications can be skued by whose listening, how much time you have, what type of day you’ve been having. The point is, communication is very interesting. It’s hard to gather all the facts. Take your time when you can and read more than just the words. Listen beyond the words. Watch.

It seems the recent trend is to try and dig up dirt on people. It's been called "cancel culture". The internet and technology is making this easier than ever and some of this is good and some is bad. A lot of people are getting in trouble for doing some really dumb things. And some people are getting in trouble for doing things that they didn't do, or for doing things that they've long before made right. There's an interesting story in the bible about a lady who was caught in the very act of something wrong. Jesus told her accusers they could stone her if they were without wrong doing. Nobody threw a stone. A better focus would be on keeping our own selves clean rather than trying to dig up dirt on other people. We all have dirt, maybe we should just mind our own dirt and try to clean up our own selves.

If you're in a frustrating season or moment in life, it can change fast. Don't ever feel like your current season is permanent. You can lose hope quickly if you feel like your season is permanent. Things can change fast, and they often do change fast when it's the right time. Getting frustrated and losing hope are two things to make the bad season even worse though. Being patient and knowing a better day is coming are two much better things to do. The same thing applies even when you're having a bad day or maybe a bad week or work. Things can and will change fast.

Yes, you need to be quick to market. If you take forever you may miss your opportunity. But the first to market isn't always the best and doesn't always last the longest. You're better off learning endurance skills than speed skills. Speed isn't usually sustainable, but endurance is sustainable.

If you're attracted to someone for reasons that will change, that's not a good basis for a relationship. To be more blunt, if you are attracted to someone solely by looks, you may be in trouble in the future. Those things will change. Will you be left with someone who you still like? Make sure they have good character and a personality you will like for the long term.

Confidence is one of those things that's hard to quantify and hard to script. It can seem to come and go in an instant. Confidence changes things much. One way of getting confidence is in knowing your limits and knowing your strengths and weaknesses. When you know these things you know what you can and can't approach with confidence.

Have you ever noticed that the most blessed people are the most giving? That's not a coincidence. You aren't truly gaining by hoarding.

This is obvious, the harder the decision the more important it is. One thing to remember, when making hard decisions seek lots of counsel.

If joy is a choice, that means that negative emotions come without us asking them. What if you can get to the point where anger is a choice to? And it's something you choose to never accept. Self control can lead you to that point.

Communicating what's right is more powerful than telling someone they're wrong. Unfortunately, not every circumstance allows for you to communicate what's right. You just have to say what's wrong. But when possible it's much more powerful to let someone know what the right thing is, even when they've done wrong. Telling someone they're wrong isn't nearly as powerful as showing someone what's right. When possible use the method of saying what's right over saying what's wrong.

Sometimes, in some things, you get full points for just showing up. Showing up usually isn't enough, but there are times when just showing is courageous and you get full points for it.

I read a quote from Bob Goff that said "We determine how much influence we'll have when we decide how available we'll be." There is always someone who needs you. Your ability to influence them is only as good as your availability. Making yourself available for someone who is a good investment of your time, is in fact one of the best things you can do with your time.

Be careful what you tear down. It's a whole lot easier and quicker to tear down than to build it. If something has been built up, there usually was/is a good reason. So know the history and know why you're tearing it down. Tearing down should be used on things that are causing harm.

Things seem to beget more of themselves. Take for example sloppiness. If someone on the team allows sloppiness, that will almost assuredly cause more sloppiness on the team. But if you demand order, then order will be the thing that is produces. So allowing one thing that you shouldn't will have repercussions. Things are contagious. Good habits are contagious, but so are bad ones. Be careful what you allow, even if it's just one thing.

You can try and find joy in the big things, but oddly enough they don't seem to bring joy. You can save for the trip of a lifetime, and it will be fun most likely. But it won't bring joy for any length of time. You could win the lottery but it for sure won't bring joy. It may in fact bring the opposite. Here's a huge life hack, joy is found in the things we may deem small. Joy is in having decent health. Joy is in meaningful friendships. Joy is found in finding purpose. Joy is found in simple things like hearing children laugh or babies babble. This means joy is attainable for nearly everyone.

Making something simple usually means more work. It takes less work to make something complicated. But to make something simple you must refine and refine. Simplicity is usually being methodical. Not careless. If something is simple it’s well understood and can be understood easily. It’s more valuable that way. Look to simplify things. It will make them better, guaranteed.

So often we think the answer to a problem is more. More often than not the answer is actually less.