My Riffs

If you talk about it you’ll maybe find a solution for it. If you keep quiet you likely won’t find a solution. Communication is a must to advance any idea. 

Kindness doesn’t mean weakness. Kindness really means strength. You can be kind and disagree. And that takes strength. You can be kind and discipline. And that takes strength. You can be kind and make hard decisions. And that takes strength. Being kind doesn’t equal being a pushover. Being kind means being strong. 

As a parent I have to protect but also expose my children enough that they can face the world on their own eventually. Oversheltering them won’t long term help them and overexposing them won’t help them at all. Finding a balance between the two that allows them to learn and grow with minimal mistakes and pain is the key. 

Nobody likes to get rocked. And life will rock you. But it’s possible to get better at not getting rocked. You can be better at not letting life and people rock you. Learning to steady your ship when storms come helps both yourself and others around you. Get good at steadying your ship; you won’t get rocked nearly as much. 

Efficient is better than fast. Fast usually comes at too high of a cost. Efficient is much more sustainable. 

This may be counterintuitive, but the best way to change others is to change ourselves. When we change ourselves sometimes we learn it's not them that needs to change, but it's us. Also we can't expect people to change when we don't. Lastly, as we change we effect change around us. So instead of focusing on changing others, change yourself and you'll make the world a better place. As the song says, "I'm starting with the man in the mirror...".

Sometimes you have to get really tired of something to rid yourself of it. We will accept toxicity for long periods of time. Learn to cut toxicity out of your life early.

Life’s gonna have major disappointments. Handle them well and they will be learning tools and building blocks. 

If you want it, you gotta go get it. Good things come to those who wait, but good things don't come to a sloth. Patient people get good things, but they also have to learn when to get up and get it.

People can get power hungry. It's really just an exercise in ego. You can make a name for yourself with power, but you don't need power to effect change in the world. The important things in life don't require power. Power just feeds our insatiable ego.

People who watch know more than people who don’t pay attention. Listening and watching pay greater dividends than talking. But there are times to speak. And when needed the voice is a powerful thing. But it’s only as powerful as it’s listened and read. 

Experience is more valuable that knowledge. Knowledge is power, but experience is might. 

The things were tempted to be proud of usually are the wrong things. We're proud of our accomplishments in work or school (and we really should be), but we should be more proud of the people and lives we've touched and effected. Those are accomplishments to be truly proud of. Any temporal accomplishment will fade fast, and any lives touched will live on.

The only way to truly fail is to give up. Mistakes, setbacks, plan changes are all just bumps in the road. They’re not failures. 

I can think of few if any instances where being uncontrolled is good. Self discipline and self control are skills that may be hard to master, but if you don't something else will master you. Often your weakest temptation will master you. Be in control, being uncontrolled leads to bad places.

We all have pressure on us. Too much pressure and we can break, not enough pressure and we won't be strong. Pressure is useful in making us stronger. We can use pressure to strengthen ourselves or we can let pressure break us apart. A lot of it has to do with how we decide to handle the pressure. 

One way of looking at life is in terms of how many simple things can you get right. If you get lots of simple, repeatable things right, you’re gonna have a good life. How well can you cultivate healthy small habits. The more healthy habits your repeat the better life you’re gonna have. 

I don’t think it’s possible to meet a happy miser. So somehow happiness must be tied to giving. Giving must be more fulfilling than receiving and giving must bring more happiness than receiving. If you’re unhappy maybe it’s worth checking your giving. 

It's hard to pursue other peoples dreams. I read a quote today that spoke to this. It said in essence that you have to pursue your own dreams or else you burn out and get bitter. Purpose has nothing to do with status it has to do with aligning with your values. It's more than okay to assist someone in achieving their goals. That in fact can be very rewarding. But you have to align your purpose with your passions and values for long term happiness and success.

Love isn’t control. The more you love someone doesn’t mean you control them more. Love is wise. It may guide and teach but it never controls. If it controls, it’s not love. 

You generally find what you're searching for. Your appetite will dictate what you eat.

We’re so afraid to fail. But failure isn’t an end. It’s an opportunity for a beginning.  It’s okay to fail. Really it is. It’s what you do after the failure that matters. 

How well can you collaborate? Working well on your own will take you so far. But working with others and collaborating is what will multiply your efforts. 

You can complain or you can fix it. And if you can't fix it, you can do something about it. And if there's literally nothing you can do about it, complaining isn't gonna help. So complaining doesn't help in any measurable way. People who complain aren't usually willing to do something. They get their kicks just complaining about things. Doers complain less and take action more.

We’re all culture creators. What we do matters. We can choose to create good culture or we can create bad culture. It doesn’t much matter the situation we’re in, we can choose what we want to create. 

You have to be a mix of selfish and selfless. You have to be both selfish and selfless with your time. Your time can't be given away to waste, so you have to be selfish over it. But when needed you have to be selfless with your time and give it away to those who it has an impact on. You have to be selfish with your health so you can give away selflessly. You must be selfish with your resources so you can give selflessly when the time is needed. Wisdom is in knowing when to gather and when to give. 

I've read before and written it before that not taking things personal is a superpower. Those who take everything personal are in constant turmoil. Learning to not take things personal is a superpower that will release you from so many needless weights. 

The tighter we hold things the more likely we lose them. The less we give the less we get and the more likely we will lose it.  The more we give the more we receive. Give generous to live a full and fulfilled life.