My Riffs

I've never seen harshness lead somebody to be truly sorry. It may make someone afraid but it doesn't make them truly sorry. Kindness is a better response, even to someone who has wronged you. Kindness is generally the best response. Harshness is reserved for extreme instances and situations where being hard is necessary.

It's the connections that matter. We can spend time with people but not connect. And it's the connections we have in life that we learn from and grow from. Focus on connection. Connection is quality and quality is where we learn and grow from.

If you believe it you can do it. If you don't believe it, you likely can't do it. Belief comes before action. Believe in yourself, you can achieve it.

The small things are easy to overlook and miss being grateful for. But there's so many small things we've learned to take for granted. If we look at all the small things we have and what's gone right for us, it changes our attitude toward the things that may not be going so great.

We have a duty to build each other up. Not tear each other down, but to build each other up. We can do some building on our own but we also need others helping us build. And others need your help with their building. So don’t waste time tearing people down, there’s far too many people who need your time building. 

There so many things worth caring about, but there's a whole lot more not worth caring about. When we get those reversed we get weighed down by all the unnecessary. Caring about the things that matters brings life but the rest drains life.

We have to stop making so many assumptions. When we assume something, we tell ourselves it's a fact. It makes the assumption presumed correct and in effect will make it almost impossible to prove incorrect to us. We make so many assumptions every day. And in a way we have to. But the dangerous assumptions we make are about people. We assume someone was trying to slight us, ignore us, be rude to us. Those are very un-nuanced assumptions. Instead we should assume the person was distracted, busy or having a really bad day. But we instead choose to assume it was personal or someone is categorically a bad person. These assumption leave no room for fact or nuance. So it's best to stop assuming about people. It's better to assume the best and if the worst is reality, then it's not our problem to deal with.

Listening is more important than speaking. It's worth reminding myself that it's it's surprising how often people just need me to listen and not even talk. Listening does as much as talking does or could. When people feel heard and understood, they feel much better.

Getting better rarely looks like a smooth linear trajectory. It more resembles ups, downs, steps backwards, twist, turns and loops. The point is getting better every day, no matter where you're at in the journey.

Our behaviour matters. So very much. We have influence whether we realize it or not. What I do or don’t do affects others. It affects people I don’t even realize I’m connected to. What I do matters. I have influence. We all have influence. If we behave as if what we do matters and effects others then we will behave different. You have influence, use it for good. 

Patience is a virtue. But being patient when there’s no process is a bad thing. You can be patient to the point it becomes apathetic. Patience is good when you’re following a process. It’s not so good when you’re in the middle of nowhere, going nowhere fast.

Getting better means doing harder things. We rarely get better by staying still. Rest and mindfulness is necessary, but getting better needs action. 

Levelling up in life looks a lot like doing hard things. It looks a lot like going through challenges. It looks like figuring out a lot of problems. It looks like experience. Levelling up takes work and costs, but its an important part of life and growing.

Anyone who thinks they can do it on their own is hugely mistaken. We all need people. We all need someone. Thinking we can do it all on our own is a sure way to fail. Recognize the need for others and don't hesitate to reach out to good people and build bridges. Make connections. Learn from people. Help others, because we need each other. 

The more you truly learn, the more you realize you don’t know much. If someone feels they know a lot, chances we they don’t. But if someone is humble they quite likely are quite knowledgeable. 

It's important to celebrate the wins. Any win is big and we need to teach those following us that wins should be celebrated. Celebrate good and it will be what grows. 

If you want to find offences, you will. We can find offence in almost everything and there’s many people who do. It’s one of the worst ways to live. Constantly being offended is like self inflicted harm. Choosing to not find or live in an offended state is the right way to live. You will find peace that way and living in peace is priceless. 

The quickest and maybe best way to become better is to surround yourself by people who are better. 

Routine will become a prison if you never add some variety. Routines are good and even important. But they need some variety from time to time. 

Hard things produce the most rewarding results. Easy things usually don’t. The bigger the task, the bigger the reward. 

There comes a time for everyone where we need somebody. We can’t do everything always on our own. We need people. That’s why it’s best to build as many connections as possible. It’s a safety net but also a strengthening to make us better. 

Try and work smarter, not harder. Harder won’t always produce more results. But smarter usually will. 

Love is the most powerful force on earth. But love has to be used with truth or else it's not effective. Love is kind and you can be kind and truthful. Being truthful doesn't mean being ugly. Being truthful means being kind to people but doing it with truth.

My net worth is proportional to my network. Building connections makes us all better. Isolation makes us all worse. So build as many good connections as possible.