My Riffs

There are two choices. 1. You can make a difference. 2. You can coast. The first choice requires more work up front. The second choice is harder over the long run, because you don't control what happens to you.

What we're known for may be entirely different than who we really are. Someone may have a bad rap, fairly or unfairly. Someone may have a positive rap, again, fairly or unfairly. Regardless of what you're known for, you don't need to be that person. Be the best version of yourself, end of story. If you're known to be a grump, don't accept that, be a better person. If you're known to be some thing else, good or bad, that doesn't quite resonate with who you really are, then don't be that person. Be who you need to be. Be who you should be. Not who others think or say your are. The "real" you isn't something definitive, because we're always changing. So let constant, positive improving you, be the definitive you.

If you haven't read part 1 , you may want to read that here first. There are groups who are varying degrees of critical towards the Millennial generation. From mild criticism to outright hostility. This is nothing new, this happens between most generations. The problem is, this type of dialogue will only create a larger gap between generations, rather than bridge it. Instead of levelling criticism, why don't we try and understand this generation, so we can bridge gaps and move forward with them. Millennials, like every previous generation, are different. There are a lot of good qualities found in Millennials, I am not going to write about the the criticisms levelled at this generation as it will not move the dialogue forward. The only consideration I will add regarding criticisms of Millennials is this: of the criticisms levelled at Millennials, who do you think made them ________? (insert criticism in the blank) My answer: Probably their parents generation. So here are ...

Don't assume pain and frustration are signs that you're doing something wrong. They very well could be signs you're doing something very right.

Its difficult or impossible to move forward while focusing on the past. Looking backwards, imitating or recreating the past is not a wise way to move forward. Forward progress requires forward thinking and vision. Stop worrying about what happened yesterday and think about constructing today for tomorrow.

Good is good enough, sometimes. Good isn't good enough, othertimes.  If you have good, but can have great, good isn't enough.  If you have good, but cannot have great, good is enough.  The saying says "perfect is the enemy of good". Sometimes you have to accept that something is simply good, not great. Sometimes good is just a stepping stone to great. Sometimes good is all you will get.  Set expectations accordingly or you will be disappointed. Or you will never do something because it isn't instantly great/perfect.  Most things do not start out as great. Some thing's don't even start out as good. It's a progression to get there. Learn to trust the process, trust your instincts and usually be patient.  Good is only acceptable when good is as good as it gets. All other times, good isn't good enough.  Unless you're okay with mediocre, which is worse than bad and worse than good. Mediocre is a rut that is hard to ge...

Purpose is a powerful thing. It has driven human beings to do major, earth changing things. People who find a purpose, are more fulfilled, happy and accomplish more. The real benefactors in these situations inevitably are others. One of the most valuable things you can give someone is purpose. Money, moral support and mere friendship cannot compare to providing someone with purpose. You can use the old fishing analogy. You can give a man a fish and feed him for a day, or you can teach a man to fish and feed him for the rest of his life. Purpose will feed a man for the rest of his life. If you're struggling to find your purpose in life, try looking outward rather than inward. What outside yourself gives you a sense of accomplishment and joy unlike anything else? That may be a key to finding your purpose.

Are you feeling sick? Google it to figure out what it is and how to remedy it. Need to fix your furnace? Google it and figure out how to DIY. How do you prepare a great speech? Google it for the best tips you can possibly find from the greatest sources. How many people live in Ghana? Google. The internet and technology had replaced things we previously had to either use a encyclopedia for or rely on an expert for. The expert had effectively been replaced. Except, google cannot replace someone with knowledge and experience specific to you. Your family doctor knows your medical history. Your furnace repairman knows the historyof your furnace... A speech coach knows you and what you need to work on specifically. A friend or mentor knows you better than an article online could. You cannot replace real knowledge, experience and wisdom with information and technology.

I've observed a lot of people reach a point in life where they feel to have figured it "all" out. Once this happens, little to no learning can happen. At no point in life can we stop learning. We cheat ourselves and those within our influence if we stop learning. If we stop learning, we stop growing, they are directly connected. This may be some of what Steve Jobs meant when he gave the advice, "stay hungry, stay foolish".

Why do we so often choose to see problems when we can see good or see problems as possibilities? The outcome will be determined by our outlook. Or, how we're looking out from within ourselves.

This post may make no sense, the onus is on me to articulate my thoughts to my audience. If this doesn't make sense, my thoughts have little value. The value is in articulating our thoughts. It is the job of a speaker, parent, boss or leader to articulate vision. If there is no vision, there is no purpose. If there is no purpose, people will not grow. The same can be said if there is no articulation. 1. Vision 2. Articulation 3. Action 4. Followup 5. Listen/assess/adjust 6. Repeat the above

Because we are complex beings, it is challenging to get and maintain good health. Its not so simple to balance everything in our busy lives while maintaining good health. We are spiritual, emotional, physical beings. What does it take to be healthy then? There is no magic, simple answer to good health. It takes work, maintenance and lifestyle changes/habits. Health isn't an activity or task, it's a lifestyle. Eat good,  drink good,  think good, play good, rest good, work good, exercise good, speak good and love. It's not easy to maintain good health, but it's sure a lot easier than living unhealthy.

Knowing your audience is so important. This extends beyond merely public speaking engagements. This extends to your circle of influence. To your immediate family. Really it extends to anyone your in communication and contact with. Everyone is special and unique. You may need to adjust your message, tone and even medium depending on who you're communicatiog with and what you're trying to communicate. A good speaker reads their audience before speaking. A good communicator reads their subject before speaking and has great listening skills. (listening skills do not mean simply hearing what someone is saying, that is not a skill. listening skills mean understanding what someone is saying, and furthermore trying to understand their position, not just their words, also known as empathy)

A good recipe: be stubborn on the vision and strategy and flexible on the details and tactics. - Jeff Bezos Music changes constantly. Good music doesn't date easily. Bad music dates quickly. But in both cases, music changes. Music changes as people change. But the end result (or in this case, the vision) of making the listener feel something has never changed. Methods and styles have changed, but the vision hasn't. Companies with a clear vision are successful. People with a clear vision are successful. Life will teach you that, on the way to accomplishing your vision, unexpected challenges will arise, but they never deter from the vision. They only require flexibility on the current tactics and details. You cannot go through life without some thing circumstances that cause you to be flexible on details and tactics. Changing tactics and details is good compromise . Changing vision is bad compromise . Not having a vision is fatal.

Really means,  "I'm not used to that" or "I don't understand that". We say we like something because it's what we're used to, therefore usually making any alternative bad. It's not binary though. What we're used to may be as good or better than what we're accustomed to. We just don't know until we're willing to step out and try something new, something outside our comfort zone.

A safe way to predict something's (or someone's) future is to examine the history. That is, unless there is a significant shift or change. A significant change can render the past unuseable in predicting the future.

There are two fundamental ways in which you can live your life. 1. Reactive. Live in constant response to all that happens to you. Essentially the thinking behind this way is that you don't have control of things. 2. Active. Take control regardless of what happens to you. The thinking behind this option is that regardless of what happens to you, you still have control of things. The outcomes between the two approaches are vastly different. Those who take control and ownership of their life and all that happens to them will have a far happier and more successful life. Those who live in constant reactive mode are usually angry, disappointed and unfulfilled people. The difference between option one and two is simply a decision and taking ownership of your life. Not accepting that what happens to you controls you, but rather you control yourself regardless of what happens to you.

If you're swimming against the current, it may be a great thing. Majority doesn't always win. Majority is not always best.

I've been seeing the word courage a lot recently. I've read a ton of really great definitions too. It seems to be that courage has a lot to do with overcoming fear. Fear of peer pressure. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the future. Fear of your past. Fear of stepping out. Fear of backlash. Courage seems to always lead to action. Courage acts. Fear freezes action. You could say anyone who is doing something good and positive is courageous.

Pleasing people is an impossible business. What makes one happy makes another sad or another angry. Those who care most for us should be a valuable sounding board. Those who care for themselves and want us to fulfill what benefits them should be ignored. That is the key difference. People who love you want what is best for you. People who love only themselves want what's best for them. You can spend your life trying to please everyone and never will accomplish it. Make those whose love you, happy and pleased.

Along your journey or even throughout each day, something or some things will go wrong. Do not allow these things to derail you from your journey. They're expected. So expect them and embrace the challenge of dealing with things that go wrong. When things go wrong a couple things happen: 1. Who we really are is shown. Who we really are comes out when things go wrong, not while they're going right. 2. It allows our plan to adapt to reality. Sometimes we have a plan or make an assumption something is going to go a certain way, buy reality dictates something different. Adapting to the change allows the plan to conform to reality. 3. Usually something new is learned. There is usually a lesson to be learned. People who learn this lesson make life so much easier on themselves and grow much quicker.

Today in doing my inventory of things to be grateful for, I realize the "things" I'm grateful for are not in fact things, but rather, people. The "things" I'm grateful for pale in comparison to the people I'm grateful for. So I want to give thanks to everyone I am connected to. You're really what I'm grateful for.

It's thanksgiving weekend in Canada. I don't even know where to start when thinking of all and who I'm grateful for. So many people have influenced me. I have so many things to be grateful for. If you can read this, you have much to be grateful for. It means you have access to information, electricity and most likely proper food and shelter. You have everything you need to be successful. Be grateful for what you have. Gratefulness precedes happiness.

We will fight so hard to prove ourselves "right" and thus proving someone or something else "wrong". But I think the important thing is less about being right or wrong, but rather about being "true". True to ourselves. True to our core values. True to our vision and dreams. True to those dependant on us. If you're working at being "true", being "right' or "wrong" is less important.

There is a mold we all need to adhere to, a common decency it could be said; of how to be a good, caring human being. But that mold has expanded and depending on who you are close to, a lot of other expectations to be a certain way are forced on you. There are people who expect you to be just like themselves, rather than who you should and need to be. If you don't already know though, it's okay to break the mold. You will certainly disappoint some people, but that is okay. Those who truly love you will still love you. If people didn't break the mold, the world would be a far worse place. The need and reasons for uniformity are becoming fewer and fewer. Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr broke the mold. Albert Einstein. Steve Jobs. Jesus broke the mold. It's okay. You probably won't accomplish what you want and need to if you are held within the mold. (Do I need to add a caveat that breaking the mold for bad or simply rebellious reasons is unwise and pro...

What is your motivator? Like what really is the driving force behind everything you do? To become famous? To become rich? To survive another day? To change the world? To raise your children to the fullest potential? To work in order to effect change? Your underlying motivator will dictate a couple things. 1. Where you are heading (obviously). 2. If it leads to disappointment. What determines the end result of your motivator is, if your motivated by yourself or by others. The point here is, if you're living for your own self, to figure out how to benefit and make yourself great, there will ultimately be disappointment. Some of the richest, most famous people in the world are the most lonely and dissatisfied. But if you're living for others, there is much satisfaction to be had as you realize your successes. It's never too late to adjust your motivation. Adjust to work towards external things, rather than focus on building yourself up. Of course it takes...

Fear of failure is often what holds us back from doing something. And fear isn't exclusively a bad thing. Fear exists to keep us in check, it keeps us from doing obviously illogical things (hopefully). But fear has this ability to grow beyond what it should be. You don't even have to feed it much to keep it alive, well and growing. Knowing when to listen to our fears and to ignore them is something we should continuously strive for. So should we be afraid of pursuing our dreams/goals/passions? Usually no. We should be more afraid of never realizing our dreams, never trying to attain our goals and never following our passion. Following your passion should be an absolute path to success, whether the passion is drawing, writing, making music, hiking, speaking, singing, creating, science, math, arts, teaching.... On and on. Relentlessly following your passion is always a good idea. And I say relentlessly because as you pursue your passions and goals, there will be roadblocks ...

If you have a talent, skill set or idea, do it. Don't wait to "be discovered" by someone else already doing it. Once you've discovered your passion, go do it. I'm not referring to discovery in the way of fame. Chasing fame is one of the worst decisions a person could make. (Take a quick inventory of the famous people you know of, almost always, they are not people you want to be. Humans aren't designed to handle fame) You can wait a long time for things to "come to you". And we know good things come to those who wait. But when it comes to using what you've already got, don't wait. Use your talents and passions right now in whatever the appropriate capacity is. The capacity may change as time goes on, but for sure the appropriate capacity isn't burying it until later.

A large portion of things that are irritating, bothering or even stressing you out, won't be remembered in days, weeks or possibly a years time. You won't even remember most of the little stresses. Running late for a meeting, meeting a deadline, having that difficult conversation, completing that project, on and on. Those things won't even be remembered, so they're not worth stressing over.  Almost always, everything works out okay and you find a way, no matter the roadblocks. Lost job, financial stress, challenges... you're gonna figure out a way through and look back on them someday. So don't put undue stress on yourself.  There's a book out there about Dont sweat the small stuff.  Details are important. But don't stress over small things that you can be confident will work out okay. 

The benefits of a community extend within the community itself, but the real benefits should be to those outside the community. If the community is healthy and functioning properly, its focus will be outward. There are huge benefits in being part of a community. But these benefits should be used to strengthen the community so it can ultimately benefit those outside the community. The point of community is less to strengthen the members, but more for the members strength to strengthen those without.

It is difficult to hear critical people, if they aren't doing anything. I'm referring to people standing on the sidelines voicing their criticisms. These people should have little say or little influence, because they're not involved and do not realize what is really going on in the trenches. Next level up is the critics who are involved and voice their criticisms. We want to dismiss these people, because of the negativity coming from them. These people at least have some level of experience to back up their claims and concerns, or what you could call criticisms. Now, I am fighting hard personally to be a positive person, and this blog is part of that effort. I am not endorsing negativity and criticism. However, I think it's easy to dismiss critics outright because of their tone or our resistance to being criticized. There is very much something known as constructive criticism. Even if you have to look through the tone the criticism is delivered in. A major thing ...