My Riffs

Do the halloween masks and costumes hide who we really are or reveal who we really are inside? Do our everyday masks cover who we are, or reveal who we are striving to be?

Some things break when you use force and other things require force to be used. Knowing when to apply force and when to use finesse is one of lives great lessons to learn. Those who master this have the ability to work with people on a whole other level. The decision of which to use is always situational. There is a time for both, but using the wrong one at the wrong time can be a mistake that takes much effort to recover from. Pro tip: always err on the side of finesse.

We like when we have the upper hand. We like being in a position of strength. It's what's regarded as success in society. You work until you are in a strong position. Then what? It's an empty goal if that's the only goal. How does having the upper hand help society? It seems to only benefit the one with the upper hand. The position of strength seems to only benefit the one in the position. The only way these positions are beneficial is if they're used to strength others, or to help others gain the upper hand as well. We only win when everyone has the upper hand, not when only ones does. When only one is strong, the rest lose. When all are strong, all win.

The energy it takes to prove someone wrong is quite something. Courts of law are busy and essentially exist in a large way for the purpose of proving someone wrong. We will go to extreme lengths to prove someone is wrong. But where does that leave us? Proving someone wrong doesn’t validate us. If someone is wrong, it seems the laws set forth in nature will take care of the wrongdoing more often than not. What if energy was instead focused on showing that what we’re doing is right. Not in a “I told you” kind of way, but in being a steadfast, self explanatory example? That energy is far better spent. Leave the proving of wrongness to someone. Invest your focus and energy on building what’s right.

There’s times when your best just isn’t enough. Your best will fail you. But only for that task. Giving your best may lead to losing some battles but will ultimately lead to winning the war.

When you have been done wrong (and we all have been and will be) do you make them pay? The tendency is to make them pay for doing us wrong. But does extracting "payment" even the score? It's safe to say that is doesn't. It makes both parties lose. If we can resist the urge to make them pay, we can turn a negative into a positive. Making them pay increases the negative.

There comes times in life where the only reason you do something is simply because it's the right thing to do. And that's fine.  Sometimes things get tough and doing the wrong thing is a temporary easy escape. But it's not the right choice, ever. So you do what you have to do, simply because it's the right thing to do. That will keep you and pay with long term results. Set things into proper order by doing what's right. The more you do this the more things around you will fall into their proper place.

If history is written by the victors, who will write your story? On a personal level, the victor is either ourselves or circumstances. IF we allow them to, circumstances will write our history. But it doesn't have to be that way. WE can write our own history and not let circumstances dictate our history.

Opinions are cheap. Most people are willing to give you one for free. Action isn't cheap. Most people aren't willing to back their opinion up with action. So find someone willing to help, then ask them their opinion.

Value is an interesting thing. For example, an old piece of seemingly junky furniture can hold much value for someone and zero for another. Value is often quite arbitrary. Possessing something that someone else considers valuable doesn't alone make it valuable. If one owned a precious diamond or jewel but placed no value on it, what value does it really have? To them, almost none, but to someone else, much. What makes money valuable? Simply the fact it generally has been agreed upon as valuable. It doesn't have much intrinsic value on it's own. The point if to be aware of what we have, and to value what we have. Also, to not always expect someone else to value what we value. What we already have is valuable, but we have to recognize it.

More and more we are seeing people becoming disillusioned. With everything from government, to politics and religion. There is for sure no shortage of options, and no shortage of disappointments in having such options. How do we prevent disillusionment? It seems to be an epidemic. Has the information age changed us so we no longer can hold something in good standing? Is everything a ploy or a conspiracy? The truth, as previously mentioned, is somewhere in the middle . Not everything is an evil plot. But nothing everything touted as idealistic is just that. Sifting through information, hype, jargon, propaganda become increasingly important. You can read and find whatever facts you wants. If you want to hold a position, you can likely find information to back up what you think. It's better to let the facts and truth define what you think. Be slow to judge, study, and learn to effectively parse information. Disillusionment seems to happen when we don't know what we...

When we label someone or something, we’re inevitably leaving some or much out. So when we label, in essence we’re ignoring a whole lot. Labels reduce and don’t represent the full truth. Being slow to label comes with wisdom. Most things are too complex to reduce down to a singularity.

It's easy for the white water rapids to catch and hold our attention. They're loud and eye catching. But they're shallow. The expression says "still waters run deep". When we want the profound or the deep, it likely won't be found in the loudest place. The loudest voice may not be the place to find depth. The loudest place may not be the place to find depth or ht profound. Try the still, the quiet and the calm. Those waters run deep and are much more still. They don't jump and grab attention like the shallow, fast waters. But there is depth and wisdom in the still.

We can't always do huge heroic things like saving the world :) But there is a lot we can do everyday. Holding the door open, saying thank you, showing appreciation, sending a kind text, etc. These are things true heroes do. And they are what will be remembered. People remember how you made them feel over all else. More that what you did for them, they will remember how you made them feel. Be a hero by doing the small, simple things everyday. It requires no cape, only paying attention.

The future requires certain things. It seems to requires many deposits from the past and present to build something of value in the future. Or else you end up in the future with nothing. You cannot withdraw from something until you've invested into it. Or the result is it becomes bankrupt. So you have to invest in something before trying to withdraw. And you have to invest in something in order to find value in it. The more you've invested, the more future value it will have. And when it's time to withdraw, there will be more than enough to withdraw from.

A snowball starts out tiny. In fact, it starts out as a snowflake. Then it grows and becomes a bigger and bigger snowball. One action is like that snowflake. That one action often triggers other actions of a similar nature. Kindness causes more kindness. Confusion causes more confusion. Lies cause more lies. Patience causes more patience. Good and bad, one action cause more of the same action. Start a good action today and see what it can snowball into.

I read a quote that hit me really hard. It challenged me in defining what success truly is. "Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter" - Francis Chan Certain successes have little value. So the goal(s) shouldn't always be simply success. Certain successes are just dressed up failures. The goal should rather be, success in the right areas.

Its horrible. It’s not bad at all.  Two views, and often you’ll find the truth somewhere in the middle of the extremes.  The truth in many situations is rarely found in the extremes.  Don’t believe the hype and don’t believe the doomsday reports. Believe what you see, hear and feel, all combined.  The truth usually sits somewhere in the middle of the reports. 

Sometimes we search so hard trying to find the problem. We will blame circumstances, history and people so often. What’s strange is, we very rarely assign blame on ourselves. People generally act in a way that they feel is best, so assigning blame on oneself is a difficult task. We feel like if we’ve been acting in ways that are best, how could we do something “wrong”. But how often should we take a hard look in the mirror, trying to find some blame there? Problems generally have more than one factor. What role have we played in the problem? Or better, what could we have done to alleviate the problem? Finding the problem may be done best when starting from ourselves and working outward.

One of the most fulfilling things we can do in life is to help others. But we can't accomplish that if we don't have ourselves sorted out. So in order to help others, we must first get ourselves to a place where we can be of assistance to others. Our ability to help others when were in a diminished capacity is severely limited. There is no shame in "working on ourselves". Or investing in ourselves. Or building ourselves. It's the only way to truly help others.

It takes a large and diverse group to build something. A commercial building for instance takes many trades and many skills. But how do you bring together all the different people and skills to make sure they build the right thing? That's what vision provides. It provides a constant that everyone aims toward. It keeps everyone on the same page. Without that vision you will have everyone pulling different directions. To build you need vision. This applies down from a personal level out to the largest of corporations.

Being intolerant of things in people around us seems to increasingly become the normal. What if we decided to give those around us the same allowance we have for ourselves? We all have our rough edges, but don't allow others the same. We all have our weaknesses, but don't allow others the same. We all have our bias, but don't allow other the same. Etc, etc. We can have a double standard in not allowing others the things we allow ourselves. The world would be a better place if we afforded other the things we allow ourselves.

The more thankful you are, the more joy you have access to. The less grateful you are, the less joy you have access to. It’s not easy to have joy when you’re ungrateful.

Are we investing enough time in the big things? Chasing small stuff and insignificant issue can seemingly take all our time up and leave us with nothing for the bigger more important things. The short term seems to grab for our attention and energy. The long term and more important doesn't have the same gravitational pull. We have to create that gravitational pull and move away from the small things that seem to have a bigger pull. Investing in the highest aiming thing you can is the best way to combat the insignificant. Aim for the highest realistic thing you can, and don't allow the louder unimportant things to distract.

Evaluating using emotion will distort.  If the tendency is to evaluate using emotion, make sure to also evaluate minus the emotion.  That way a balanced conclusion can be made. 

Frustrations are very interesting things. When you distill them down, they're essentially something we don't understand. More or less, when we understand something, it doesn't frustrate us. So when we bump into a frustration, there is some untapped value there. We should explore our frustrations. Especially when the same frustration keeps popping up at us. There is clearly something to learn there. Explore it. There will be some knowledge or wisdom found if you dig deep enough.

The more concerned we become with rank, the less concerned with quality we seem to become. Rank is about making noise. Quality is about longevity. Rank is temporal and provides short term gratification. Quality is long lasting and provides meaning and purpose. Quality is what should be noticed. Not rank. This applies to products, organizations, and individuals. Quality > Rank.

Good is good, and so often it ends there. The problem is, good left alone steadily degrades's until it becomes not good. Good gives a false sense of security. Good makes us comfortable. Good makes us feel we can let our guard down . Good lulls us to sleep. Good makes us complacent. So while good is good, it's not good enough. Pushing to be great is what keeps us awake and away from the dangerous ground of good. When it's bad, it's obiovusly bad and needs improvement. When it's good, the feeling is often, "why improve?".  The answer is, to stay relevant and to stave off failure.

The best things are almost never enjoyed alone. Travel, food, fun, etc are all enriched by sharing them. If something is consumed only by yourself, you can almost guarantee that it's not being enjoyed as much as it could. When we share our lives with others we enrich our and others life. The more we give, the more we receive in value, significance and meaning. It's the experience that makes us rich. Value experience over stuff. Really contentment comes in experience not material.

When something happens completely senseless and illogical, you struggle to understand the world. Today is such a day. What used to be rare acts of senseless violence and hatred are becoming a daily event. The world I grew up in isn't the same my children are growing up in. Today more than ever the important things in my life are people, not things. The relations and family we have should be held closer than ever and valued more than ever. The lessons to learn are hard to even sort through the emotions and senselessness to find, but the immediate lesson seems to be value and love those around you.

A lot happens in life outside our control. We could document each unpleasant thing and they would become an ever growing weight. Or. We could document every unpleasant thing as something that happened for us. And the unpleasant things would become a staircase instead of a weight.