My Riffs

So much of life and work is all about problem solving. Most, if not all, jobs involve some form of problem solving. In our daily life we are constantly problem solving. Which route to take, how to fit in all our errands, how to pay that bill.... and on and on. It becomes almost routine just solving problem after problem. Some problems are super obvious, like "which route to take". But for so many problems, we start solutioning them without fully understanding the problem. And this often can make the problem worse. Effectively diagnosing the problem and it's root cause is absolutely essential to fixing it. Otherwise we're either applying a bandaid or we're making the problem worse. Knee jerk decisions are usually the wrong way to handle problems. A more methodical, big picture and root cause approach is generally the right way.

If we allowed all the noise to capture our attention, we would never focus on the important. The noise generally comes from the unimportant. The important usually is silent, but has far greater implications. The more you can learn to decipher the noise from the important, the better you will be at time management. Noise is pettiness. Allowing the noise to consume us, saps our time energy and emotions, leaving us poorer than it found us. Investing in the important leaves us richer than it found us. But the important rarely jumps up and grabs our attention, until it's possibly too late. Learn to tune out the noise. Don't give yourself to investing in the loud but void noise.

Knowing something is step 1 in advancing anything forward. It's the next steps that always are the hardest though. Action plans are the real challenge. Transferring knowledge into action is really where things break down or flourish. The saying says, "fail to plan, plan to fail". Having knowledge, and ideas is good. But the key to success is in the planning.

Pilots and captains have the luxury of maps and training. That's why we generally feel comfortable taking flights and trips in ocean vessels. Navigating life unfortunately comes with very little advance training and preparation. A lot of life is learning on the job. The challenge is navigating life in a manner, with little training, that minimizes mistakes and repercussions. Fortunately this isn't a hopeless task. Somebody has faced what you're facing. Somebody has failed at what you're facing. Somebody has succeeded in what you're facing. Find those people. Find the historical examples. Speak to experienced people who can listen as much as they can talk. Speak to close friends and family. Read and think. When it comes to circumstances in life that have far reaching and serious consequences, slow down, speak, search and be patient. In difficult circumstances our instincts are often wrong. To get out and above the circumstances, reach above yourself. ...

The voice of the resistance is often louder than the voice of the supporters. That's why lending your voice is important. The loud voice of the resistance often hinders change and thus growth. In dealing with change, the volume shouldn't drive decisions. The message should be listened to, but volume should have little bearing. The resistance to change often holds very little merit. The fear of change though will make a small group of people mobilize and raise a loud protest. If the loudest wins, true progress will be short circuited. The best ideas should always win. This takes honesty, openness and courage though. Honesty, openesss and courage are often hindered by the loud resistance.

We all know the natural human instinct of fight or flight. When we come against adversity we have two basic choices. 1. Fight it 2. Run from it Knowing what's best requires wisdom only gained through experience. And  even with experience we still get it wrong at times. Some situations are best to run from. Some are best to fight. I think it's generally not good to run from problems though. This clearly doesn't mean searching for problems. But when you find yourself in the midst of one, running from it almost always is the wrong house. Running from something before it becomes a problem sometimes is bad too. An example would be avoiding an "elephant in the room" until the situation exploded. If something isn't your problem though and there is no need for you to get involved, running is good. This doesn't mean not helping people, it means not getting involved in other people's affairs and problems that we have no business in. Takeaways: ...

"In times of peace prepare for war, in war prepare for peace." - Sun Tzu, from "The Art of War". This quote shows the cyclic nature of life. Sometimes we get so caught up in the current season that when the next season comes, we're caught off guard. To facilitate smoother seasonal transitions, it's important to prepare for the next season. If you're in a time of peace, war is coming. If you're in a time of war, peace is coming. Be prepared. Don't be caught off guard. It also helps in seasons of war knowing that peace is coming. Maybe not knowing when, but planning for it and working toward it will help get through the war.

If you are asking someone to give something up it helps the process when you provide a replacement. If you're asking them to give something up, the inference is there is something better. Help make that clear to them. This is something to work towards as a parent. It's easy to demand things from our children. But a lot more learning is happening when we follow demands with the trade. And make sure they understand what they're trading for.

Everybody has a driving force, a fount of sorts. What drives people to become wealthy? What drives people to want to be famous? I think the best "sources" of drivers are in things that are beyond ones self. If you're living for a cause  bigger than yourself, that is a good source. If your living to simply get rich, that's a shallow source. Find a source that is bigger than yourself and you have found something much more important than anything money could purchase.

There are at least two sides to everything. We generally subscribe to the first side were exposed to. Maintaining a balanced perspective means realizing there is always at least one other side to something. And that other side may be better than the side you've taken to.

What we call a phone today, typically does very little traditional phone calling. Phone calls for most probably represent only a tiny fraction of what is done on the device.  A phone is probably an inaccurate name for our devices. But because they are such a multipurpose device, I'm not sure what a more accurate name would be? Multi purpose communication, organization, business, personal and time wasting device? 

The greatest question to answer persistently is "why?". Our motives can get out of line so quickly. Constant examination of our motives is required to keep them in line. A persistent question we must always be asking ourselves is, "why am I doing this?". If we're honest and examine our motives, we won't end up off track and doing things for the wrong reasons. Wrong motivations is a sure way to short circuit your efforts and success. (real success that is) Life is short and time is too precious to be doing things for the wrong reasons and motives. Only the best and purest motives can accomplish the great. Today, why am I...? - Blogging - Working - Building relationships - Communicating - Participating in certain activities A wise mentor often says, "live deliberately".

One of the best ways to get buy in is through engagement. Employees that feel engaged will buy into what they're doing. Spouses, friends, children, volunteers that feel engaged will buy in. The critical thing is to not mistake conversations or monologue for engagement. Even levels of dialogue don't really count as engagement. Engagement pushes regular communication even deeper. Engagement means any of the following: - Asking for someone's direct input - Using someone's input - Giving someone responsibility for implementing or overseeing their ideas - Answering someone's difficult or challenging questions, fully and to a satisfactory level - Providing someone their "why" or "purpose" In this hyper connected world, we're more connected than ever, but more disengaged than ever. People are seeking true, meaningful engagement. This can't be had through superficial means, it can only be done in a very deep and meaningful way ...

Your actions carry weight. Every action comes at a cost and with a consequence. To help us be more aware of our actions, I think it's important to stop and ask ourselves, "who is relying on me?" There is always someone relying on you. Your actions and decisions affect other people, whether you want to or not. For parents, your children are obviously relying on you. But this applies to everyone, not just parents. Our friends are relying on us. Our co-workers are relying on us. Those within our sphere of influence are relying on us. Those coming after us are looking to the example we've previously set. Actions that have negative consequences affect more people than just ones self. Being aware of this should help form our decisions. Selfish acts ultimately hurt ourselves, but unfortunately there are other unintended casualties. Take stock, who is relying on you? Who is looking to your example? Who in the future will be following your example? Once you take ...

The best way to convince someone of something is to: 1) Love them 2) Live an example of what you're convincing them of It is said that children see what you do more than hear what you say. Our actions speak volumes. Saying something means little. Doing something means a lot. People will be convinced when they see you love them and they see you doing what you say.

There's a secret to working with people. That being, kindness and gentleness will accomplish so much more than the opposite. Forcing and demanding from people can possibly accomplish something in the short term, but it won't last. To have an ongoing and lasting impact on someone, use liberal amounts of kindness. Dictators get overthrown. Kindness causes revolutions. This thought was inspired by Martin Luther King jr. who accomplished so much using peaceful and kind measures.

Growth isn't linear. It goes in fits and starts. There are times you feel you've taken more steps backward than forward. One day you look back and see though that you've come a long way. You realize you're not the same person you used to be. At least that's the goal. He things we go through and sometimes set us back are the very things that end up propelling us forward if we use them right. In life you can either get bitter, or get better. What you choose impacts whether you're gonna look back and realize you've grown or not.

Financial based net worth may be the standard to measure success and accomplishment in western societies.  Financial success and financial accomplishments do little to help the individual who accomplishes them.  What if success were redefined? Defined by care, love, help, influence.  Society as a whole would reap major benefits.  When we hear the word success maybe we can start thinking of more valuable things than money. 

Hopefully anyway... I'm hoping I don't see things the same way in 2, 3, 5 or 10 years from now. The reason being, if I'm not allowing experience and new knowledge and wisdom to form and shape my opinions and thinking, am I really learning? Disclaimer to anyone thinking I'm advocating for double mindedness and instability... No, that's not at all what I'm advocating. If you haven't changed your opinions or views or reason and belief systems at all in recent memory, you may have stopped learning. If you've completely overthrown your opinions, views or belief systems in recent memory is means either: - You didn't know what you said, thought or believed. - You were pressured to change by outside forces (political and otherwise) and you don't really know or believe what you proclaim to believe. So, overthrowing something you know, opinionated or believe is a huge red flag. But changing your perspective, opinion and outlook should be som...

In my limited experience of how the world operates, challenging the status quo seems to be one of the very most taboo subjects or activities and often is the elephant in the room that nobody is willing to discuss. ( I just wrote a post about how the elephants in the room can destroy relationships ) This causes people to end up subscribing or forcing subscription to status quos that may no longer be serving their purpose. Not understanding the status quo can go so far as to have the opposite effect of the intended status quo. I propose that status quos need to be examined/challenged, and the need increases as they age. The older a status quo gets, the more fuzzy it's reason for existence. What if the status quos remain unexamined and unexplained? I see a couple outcomes. 1) Toxicity seeps in and slowly kills. 2) Explosive conflict. Neither result is great. Occasionally examining status quos and reviewing their reason for existence would do at least two things: 1) Remove ...

It's been super cold in this part of the world the last while. Well below freezing temperatures. Something I've always know but have observed again is, the colder things get, the more brittle they get and are susceptible to breaking and cracking. Where this applies more than anything else is in our hearts. I've seen and have had to personally fight against the heart getting cold. A cold heart is brittle and susceptible to breaking easier. A warm heart is an open one and for sure that can cause your heart to be broken. However, a warm heart can mend somewhat and somehow. A cold heart doesn't mend as easy. The older I get the more I realize the importance of your heart, and less so the physical one (although that is obviously critical). We generally take good care of our outer selves, but often times our inside persons are not well tended too. Inside were often a whole lot more broken then the outside self shows. If we could tend to the inside person as much o...

It's super important to be aware of the world and what is going on if you want to be relevant. Now in 2017, it's so hard to stay relevant because the world has never been moving faster than now. Also because of this, it's more important than ever to stay tuned in. The point isn't too chase and imitate every trend and everything happening. The point is to be aware of how to connect and engage with people of your culture, of different cultures and also people of different belief systems and even ages as yourself. Businesses will cease to exist if they don't remain relevant. Intergenerational relationships will be hampered if they don't remain relevant. You cannot speak to a 15 year old contextually like you would a 75 year old, or a 35 year old. Their world is completely different. Again, the point isn't to chase trends and be "wishy washy" the point is to understand the times and be wise.

Discomfort and vagueness and things we tend to shy away from. But we should step towards these things, not away. The elephant in the room can be uncomfortable, but should be discussed. Many relationships and organizations have issues because the elephants aren't discussed. Many relationships and organizations have issues because of vagueness. Vagueness causes confusion and uncertainty. Avoiding the uncomfortable does more damage than stepping towards it. If something is vague, there is opportunity to make improvements. If something is uncomfortable, there is opportunity for growth.

The day to day and the here and now is what often consumes us. The bumps and pebbles so often what causes us grief. A big picture view is what is needed though. To step back and see, "am I heading in the right overall direction"? The big picture is important to keep in mind as we wade through the day to day. The big picture helps us wade and navigate through the day to day. The bumps and pebbles of everyday life are smoothed out by the big picture. What direction are you trending?

Listening begins when people FEEL heard. #leadership — Dan Rockwell (@Leadershipfreak) January 7, 2017 Speaking to someone and being heard are two different things. Disconnects grow when people speak but aren't heard. Conversations happen but unfortunately that doesn't mean communication does. You are paying someone a huge compliment, saying they're important, when they leave a conversation with you feeling heard.

Communication is the lifeblood of relationships. Relationships live, die and thrive based on communication. Some of the greatest misunderstandings seem to be between generations. One generation not understanding another. This goes from younger generations not understanding older ones and older not understanding younger. I wonder how often this is willful misunderstanding though. If we're honest, I think inside us there is something where we don't want to really understand other generations. We are fine and sometimes almost secretly enjoy the disconnect between generations. It seems easier to write off a different generation than to try and understand them. The difference in understanding generations seems to be willingness, not age. I know older people who can relate to younger generations, simply because of willingness. And the same goes the other way. I know young people who work and understand older generations, simply because of willingness. Understanding an...

Status is something so many are striving for. The amount of money and effort that is put into enhancing status is huge. Status is merely a social invention though. What we should be striving for is to extend our circle of influence. Which is not the same thing as status. Influence is to help people. Status helps our ego.

How often do we stop and consider how we make other people feel? It's easy to be so consumed by our own feelings. But... Am I the type of person who makes people walk on eggshells around me? Or do I make people feel comfortable around me? Making people feel comfortable around us is what's best both for the individual and group. That means comfortable to disagree, comfortable to talk, comfortable to share, comfortable to be vulnerable... Committing to making your circle of influence comfortable for others strengthens everybody involved.

The best kind of giving is of yourself. Giving of yourself costs the most but has the most impact. Giving of your finances and possessions is wonderful and needful. There are people with real immediate needs that can be helped with a meal, or some financial contribution or some other material means. But the best way to give to someone is to give of yourself. That is a level above giving from your "abundance". Giving of what you have is good, but giving of yourself is next level and sacrificial. And that is where the most impact can be had, when you are actively giving of yourself to someone. Giving of yourself can have multiple faces, depending on the needs. But it always requires sacrifice. It can be easy to give money. But it is rarely easy to give of yourself. The difference between the two may not be clearly defined, but the difference simply put is sacrifice.

Convention says that in order to win, someone has to lose. But I think the only way to truly win is if everybody wins. Real winning is when both parties win. If you lose, how does that make me better? You winning alongside me makes both me and you better. What if we took this approach in all of our dealings and relationships? We would forge better and stronger friendships and relationships. We would build a stronger community. Let's redefine winning as an activity where two parties benefit. Not a an activity where one wins and one loses. That weakens the overall community. Strength is when everyone wins and gets better and stronger.

Why would you want someone else to be like you? I don't feel we celebrate diversity enough. How often do we judge people because they're not like us? But to accomplish great things it takes a wide variety of people with a wide variety of talents. If someone is different than you, let's try and celebrate that difference. It means they bring something different then yourself to the table. Their value is in their difference. If we were all the same, where is the value? A body has different parts that all interact with each other to form a pretty well functioning machine. Let's celebrate this and use our differences to our advantage. It takes all kinds to build something.