My Riffs

One of the strange little parts of life I have discovered is the one where you have to accept something you don't like. I am a strong believer that we have power over our lives. But the discovery I have made (and really really dislike) is that there are some things we just have to accept. And they're often not things we like to accept. It reminds me of the popular serenity prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;  courage to change the things I can;  and wisdom to know the difference.

Having kids makes you very aware of the different stages of life. At younger ages, just a few months difference puts a child in a very different stage of life. What we may tend to forget as adults is that everyone is still at different stages in life. It should make us much slower to judge if we just realize that the other person is at an entirely different stage of life than us.

Imagine driving without any mirrors? The risks go up fast when you remove the mirrors. Same thing in life. It's dangerous to navigate life without properly seeing ourselves. Seeing ourselves is a very complex and difficult task. We generally have some large blind spots, and have to rely on mirrors to see into those blind spots. What are some "mirrors" we can use to see into those blind spots? - Spouses are quite good at revealing our blind spots :) Let them reveal them to you without fear. - Close friends can provide insight into those blind spots. Let them point out areas you are unable to see. - Education. Educate yourself, you'll learn a lot about yourself. - Self awareness. Practice self-awareness, challenge yourself on what you know, what you're good at and be very aware of what you're not good at too. - Spirituality. This is not a spiritual blog, but it can't be ignored, the best mirror is the bible. Read it.

Disappointments usually lead to "what if" questions. It's natural. But dealing in "what if" questions of the past is an exercise in madness. You will drive yourself crazy if you deal in them for long. You will never have concrete answers to "what if" questions of the past. The good news is, you can ask "what if" questions about the future, even coming from disappointment. And those are productive questions. The "what if" questions concerning the future can be answered and they can change things. When those questions come, make sure to navigate them forward, not in reverse.

The small things really matter. There's no way to get the big things right if you don't get the small things. Separate the petty from the small. Cause the petty things don't matter at all. But the small things do.

I reject thing things I deem as bad... Sadness, pain, being humbled... But without these, you cannot have their opposite. For their opposite to live, you have to have the "bad". Or maybe more accurately, the undesirable. How can you appreciate joy if you've never shed a tear of sadness? How can you enjoy health and strength if you've never experienced pain? How can you have proper perspective without experiencing humility? So don't reject the bad. Accept it for what is it... It's part of a bigger parcel. You can't just have one side of a feeling, emotions or experience, you get both sides or none.

You get in a car, and it had better have enough fuel to get where your going. You get in a plane, and it really had better have enough fuel. Sometime in life we don't know if we have enough fuel though to get to where we need. So we take a leap of faith. Unlike a car or place, sometimes we can refuel mid-trip, or we can get a boost. Don't let your fuel levels discourage you from making the trip. If you flat out are empty, don't do it. But if you have some fuel, chance it. You can refuel mid trip or get a boost. Your plane won't crash or you won't be stranded between two gas stations most likely.

In a world of the strong surviving, what must be done to survive? Mere strength won't guarantee survival. The key to survival is self-awareness. To survive you must be aware of your self. Of your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. People and institutions who lack self-awareness end up becoming museums.

The world seems to be becoming more and more polarizing. You are either one side or another. You can only hold one line of thinking or another. And those on the other side are the worst kind of people. The needless polarizing of issues is creating an atmosphere of hostility and hatred. We're all wrong somewhere in our thinking and actions, so let's give others the same latitude.

Your environment effects you. People have flourished in bad environments and people have failed in good environments regardless though. Environment may not be everything, but it’s improtant. It either makes things easier or harder on people. So people, choose your environment very carefully. And leaders, be very careful what type of environment you create. You will be effecting people by the environment you’ve created.

Sometimes life, or even people, pass us some nasty things. We can pass those along to the person or people next to us, or we can drop them and pass along something better.

Our name and reputation are of utmost importance. Once you lose them, they're difficult and sometimes impossible to regain in their complete state. But how much do we do things to impress others, or to stay on the good side of somebody. I would submit that if you are doing things to impress or just stay on the good side of someone, you may not be doing something worthwhile.

A matured, balanced individual sets their own value. Not in a egotistic manner. But in a self aware yet confident way. Those who allows outside circumstances and individuals to set their value for them live in constant turmoil.

There’s people on the other side of the issue from you. If we can sit down and talk without all the baggage, overhead and pressure, we realize we’re closer than we’re being told.

It's been smoky from forest fires in Calgary for the last week or so. It's been difficult to see anything at a medium or long distance. It's got me thinking about it makes it difficult to navigate in life when things aren't clear. And when we're not seeing clearly, we can often make bad decisions. Try really hard to find clarity before making decisions.

To appreciate strength you have to experience weakness. Everyone prefers to be strong, but it’s not possible to be strong 100% of the time. In those weak moment, connect with yourself in ways you don’t when you’re feeling strong. Connect with others too in ways you don’t when you’re feeling strong. There’s lessons in weakness. There’s wisdom and appreciation in weakness.

You don’t really know or believe something until you’ve been challenged on it. Challenge is the balance to knowledge. Withstanding challenge proves knowledge.

There's no need to speak in silence. Learning to be comfortable with silence is an important thing. I'm a HUGE proponent of communication. But communication without silence is just noise. We need time to reflect, and that happens in silence. Even when you're with someone else, don't be afraid of the silence. When you're talking, you're probably not learning or reflecting. So... Being silent is at times just as much or more effective than speaking.

There's many times in life I come to a situation and realize I don't know what to do. There's no manual on how to handle the predicament or situation. Relationships, ethics, parenting, etc all present situations where it's challenging to make sense of things and decisions are very very difficult. These things are very hard, and thats when we need good relationships to discuss these things. Other people have likely been through the same or similar situations and can provide insight and guidance. SO when we find ourselves in seemingly uncharted territory, find someone who has been there, or at least somewhere similar. If you can't find that person, find someone who you trust and truly has your best interests in mind to help you.

I’ve recently began seriously thinking about the power of perspective and will probably write more about it later. Here’s a primer. https://twitter.com/alex_verbeek/status/1028208326763532288?s=21

How many moments to we waste to the past or fretting over the future. The only thing you truly have is this moment. Using this moment to dwell on the past easily could be a waste. Using this moment stressing over tomorrow is early a waste. Tomorrow requires sacrifice today, but tomorrow isn't guaranteed. So don't put all your stock in tomorrow. Take advantage of this moment.

Knowing a lot doesn't matter unless you care a lot. People aren't going to listen or accept knowledge from someone who doesn't care. So show your care before you show what you know.

The ebb and flow of life. Giving and receiving. Good times and bad times. Happiness and sadness. You can't have one without the other. There's lessons to learn on whichever side of the equation you happen to be on. Enjoy each moment. Happy moments and even painful moments.

There are some things that I really resent. But resentment is a useless emotion. Sure, there are legitimate disappointments in life, but when disappointment turns into resentment, it becomes useless. Even furthermore, resentment becomes a weight. An anchor. And progress is impeded or completely stopped by it. Cutting the chain holding us to resentment is the only path forward. The chain can be cut by humility and maturity.

Silence is something. Sometimes its affirmation. Sometimes it's wisdom. Sometimes it's negligence. When you don't say something, you often are saying something.

On your way out of a restaurant you will grab a mint the server brought you, or grab one from the greeting kiosk. That’s how to send off your customers, friends or people you care for. Leave them with a good taste in their mouth.

We're all capable of doing some pretty amazing things. We have abilities like no other species. So when we do something remarkable, it's easy to feel we did it ourself. But most things we accomplish, we do so with the help of others. Acknowledge those who held the door open for you, present or past.

If we’re not thankful and grateful for what we have today, we won’t be grateful for what we get in the future. It’s a simple fact. We often fool ourselves into thinking we will be grateful once we get something, or once something happens. But being grateful isn’t predicated on accumulation, it’s predicated on realizing things could be way worse than they are.

Sometimes the things we want the most are the things we need the least. And there are times when we just have to have something, and that something is actually wrong. Wanting something doesn't mean that something is actually worthwhile, and sometime it's quite the opposite. Careful of the wants.

Humor typically consists of part truth and part absurdity. I really like humour and things that make me laugh (as we all do I'm sure). But humour has a side we need to be aware of. Humour causes us to let our guard down. Humous has been used to introduce ideas that would normally be absurd, into mainstream thinking. The absurdity is slipped in with some truth and because it's funny, the ideas can often become accepted. The ideas we would reject being presented simply as a cold hard fact, suddenly become a whole lot more palatable when mixed with some absurdity. Humous can be a Trojan horse of sorts. So be careful what we laugh at and accept as funny. Because chances are those are the things you will start adopting into your thinking as acceptable.

A park is a place where people of all different types can come together. It's a meeting and gathering place. It's an environment where people can relax and play, which are two important things to do in life. Maybe there is a correlation between the more parks in an area and the happiness there? Let our goal to build parks wherever we are, where people can feel welcome, comfortable and where they can let their guard down and just be human.