My Riffs

Narrow views lead to narrow thinking and narrow thinking leads to anemic results. This means narrow in the sense of not considering the broader picture.  Once you've recognized and understand the broader picture, by all means be narrow/singular in purpose and vision.   You can't know what to hone in on and refine without examining the broader picture. 

Knowing how much or how little is enough can be a difficult thing. How much hand holding do I provide for my children, and how does that vary according to their age? How much do I say to those within my sphere of influence as opposed to just showing through my actions? How much do I work to change things? Or do I leave them to run their course? With balance being a key to life, we want to apply the right amounts of pressure and effort to the right places. And the thing is... Only you know the answer to these questions. And furthermore we often gain the answer to these questions by trial and error. Sometimes we overdo it, and other times we don't do enough. Hopefully age and wisdom teaches us when, where and how much.

Change can happen by: New people or new ideas. New ideas (and the more revolutionary ideas), generally happen from the grassroots level and travel upwards and outwards. It's less common for fundamental change to occur from top down. For notable top down change, you generally need new people to implement ideas that flow from the top down to the grassroots; provided there is buy-in from the people. It doesn't happen this way 100% of the time, but generally so. Every idea and every thought matters, regardless of where you may "rank". You can be a change initiator no matter your "rank". Share your ideas and thoughts, but also listen closely and openly to the feedback you will recieve. Remember, no one person is 100% right, so you hold some incorrect ideas. Be open to discovering what they are.

It's an unfortunate truth that we all have inconsistencies in our lives. It's part of being an imperfect human being. The point here? Let's have mercy on those whom we find inconsistencies. If someone is hypocritical and dishonest that is one thing. It's likely best to distance yourself from a person like that. I'm speaking more to when we discover an inconsistency in someone's life.  Let's not judge too quickly or harshly. Because we have them too. When you discover an inconsistent in someone's life, you haven't discovered anything special, only that they're human.

Seasons full of unknowns are scary. It's naturally unsettling not knowing what will happen or what the outcome may be. We feel better when things are under our control and certain. But seasons of certainty lack the opportunity that seasons of uncertainty provide. In a season of certainty, decisions about growth and change will not be made. The course will be held, and the results will remain roughly the same. In seasons of uncertainty, decisions about change can be made that allow for growth. Guard against reckless change in seasons of uncertainty, obviously. But use the season to propel you somewhere new and undiscovered. If you're unsettled in a season of uncertainty, this is how you make the most of the opportunity. Move slow and be thoughtful and careful, but use the season for your advantage and ultimately to the advantage of those in your sphere of influence.

People are generally impressed with things like: Money, fame, fortune, talent, hype... Those things really aren't impressive though. The things that are truly impressive are a whole lot less "glamorous". Consistency, hard work, unselfishness, giving, love... An unselfish individual is much more impressive than a rich individual. Impressions aren't what we do things for, but seeing so many having this backwards is disturbing. Celebrity is not something to be impressed by. Few celebrities live successful lives, most are very messed up individuals. If anything we should feel bad for them. Chances are you know some people who should be acknowledged and respected, and they're not famous or popular. They're "everyday people".

I've been away from my home city for the last few days. A rare week "off" for us. I've observed the people here (in NYC) from tourists, to locals and to immigrants. Everybody is unique but we are all fundamentally the same. Both statements would be true. Peoples tastes can vary from place to place, how you market to people in certain places can vary, but there are some very basic fundamental things that make us all people. We all have needs, weaknesses, strengths. We all have dreams and desires. People are people, no matter where they're from, what ethnic background they have, no matter the social class they belong to... We're all people. Everyone you see has a lot in common with you. Don't forget to be decent and kind to everyone you see, regardless of how friendly or rude they may be. In fact, rude and unfriendly people probably need your kindness more than anyone. Be kind. Be patient. Be loving. People are people.

I want to be a consistent person. It's one of the more difficult traits for people to master. To show up each and every time/day/moment and perform. Perform in the sense of performing your duties and responsibilities to the best of your ability. It sounds simple, but it seems fewer and fewer people are able to do this. We're human. We have ups downs, emotions, distractions and struggles. So it's difficult to fight through all of this and show up time and time again. The good thing about consistency is, you can always start and always choose consistency. There are no road blocks to prevent people from being consistent.

Life has become so complex. It is becoming increasingly difficult to understand what is necessary and important. Often what demands our attention is neither. Social media, I'm looking at you. And I'm completely guilty here. Probably more than many. Other things though can become a distraction to what is necessary and important. What are some of the most important and necessary things? In no order, but for me here are some of them: - family - development (mental, spriitual, character, leadership) - community - work I find myself fighting through more and more to get to the necessary. It's a honourable fight though, getting through to the necessary and important is what matters. The other stuff doesn't matter. At least not more than for a brief instant. Do you remember what you posted on your social media a week ago? A month ago? A year ago? Likely not or possibly very little. Don't feel guilty for ignoring the unnecessary and unimportant. Do you remem...

Why push to be the best possible version of ourself? Is it so we can be better than someone else? Is it so we look better? We all know the answer to that, of course not. Then why do we better ourselves? Effectiveness. Effectiveness in helping other people. The better version of ourselves we become, the more effective we are in helping people. Helping others is much more fulfilling than becoming something ourselves, and leaving it there. Using your time and talents for others is where joy and fulfillment is. A song says, "a friend in need is a friend indeed".

Friends make experiences richer. Friends make us better people. Friends make life a little more enjoyable. Friends make tough times more bearable. Friends make us who we are, in varying degrees. Choose friends in people who have qualities you want to transfer to yourself.

I'm learning and realizing that I would rather be an optimist and be wrong than a pessimist and be right. Optimistic is a better way to live. Pessimists may be right sometimes, but probably aren't even happy when they're wrong (though they should be).

In reality, most motives are self-serving. It's okay and is part of human nature in order to survive and thrive. Getting to a point where ones life is driven by unselfish motives is something that is rarely accomplished. (I'm sure some philosophers would argue this is impossible)

That leak in your sink. Debt. That character trait. The successful business. The successful organization. It took a series of choices to get to where you are today, good or bad. How do you dig out of a hole, bad character trait or any other undesirable position? Start a repeating series of good choices, now. Make good decision after good decision and eventually you will end up with something of value. Something to be proud of. The turnaround starts with the next decision. The path to something great continues with the next decision. Success in any form has never happened overnight.

Peer pressure is an interesting thing, in that, it can be used for and accomplish some really valuable things, but also can be a hugely harmful thing. It cuts both ways. I have typically assigned the peer pressure scenario to young people. And rightfully so, the teen years are generally a period of some intense peer pressure. From my vantage point there is equal or more peer pressure amongst "older" people though. It is just more subtle, and it's generally the more suppressive type peer pressure, as opposed to a more reckless peer pressure amongst teens. Different manefestations of the same thing. Peer pressure may be a part of the reason older people get so "set in their ways". At any one point in life though, we never reach a point of arrival. If you become set in your ways, you have just signalled the beginning of the end. Pride often holds us back as we get older. Pride and comfort cripple us as we get older and prevent personal growth. If you...

Today, I am having a severe creative block. I don't seem to be able to articulate any of the thoughts that have been circling my head. I think by still posting, and keeping the process going, I will push though this. My lesson? Just because I've hit a roadblock, doesn't mean I stop what I'm doing. The best ideas are yet to come :)

Two things about facts, as interesting as the fact itself. 1. How the fact was discovered and compiled. 2. The reason for the fact. Facts on their own provide little value. The value is found in the reason for the fact. Once you start unpacking the sociological reason or mathematical reason or whatever the reason behind the fact is, that's where the value and insights are. That's where you can make some substantial assumptions and statements and ultimately applications.

The best way to settle conflict, to settle disagreements, to settle misunderstandings, is to engage. Not combat. It's instinctive and we often aren't even aware of it, we go into discussions and conversations not even realizing it, but thinking "how do I prove my point?" or "how do I disprove their point?". It's hard, but if you're able to defeat that pathological behaviour, you've just opened your world up to so much. Don't combat. Engage. Engaging means, dropping your arguments, your stake, your pride, and... Listening. Putting yourself into the other sides shoes, and earnestly feeling what they've saying. Forcing yourself to actually understand what they're saying. Chances are, they aren't crazy, what they're saying has merit and value, probably equal to yours. We're usually just unwilling to go there because we're in combat mode. Engaging one-ups traditional toleration. Secular tolerance is weak. I'm ...

Charles Dickens novel,  A Tale Of Two Cities , opens with this powerful paragraph: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way--in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only. Dickens was referring to London and Paris of his time, but also on a deeper level, he was referring to conflicting forces. It is a paragraph of paradoxes contrasting how the worst of times can also be the best of times. He likely was referring to the rich and the poor, and of course to London an...

Most often, growth and change are slow. Don't grow impatient with the process. Forced growth and change can have the opposite intended effect. Unnatural growth and change causes problems. Remember growing pains as a child? Imagine how the body would react to faster change... Growth needs to be gradual. Change needs to be gradual. Usually anyway. Be patient with your growth and others growth equally. Be patient with change. Are things heading and trending in the right direction? Stay the course then. Culture changes do not happen overnight. It takes time and consistency. Human development and growth is the same.

Music is something I can often relate back to. And this concept really comes from my knowledge music but is applicable to many other life situations. In music, more does not equal better. There is not a correlation between more and better or more and quality. Miles Davis said something that profoundly influenced me as a musician, and even as a person. "Music is the space between the notes. It’s not the notes you play; it’s the notes you don’t play." - Miles Davis More noise isn't always better. More words isn't always better. More money isn't always better. More friends isn't always better. More education isn't always better. More possessions aren't always better. These things COULD be better in higher quantities, but they're not guaranteed to be better in higher quantities. More money does not bring happiness. More of any of the above items do not bring happiness. What is one way to bring happiness? Being content. And with contentment, t...

Most limits are self-imposed. This can be in a good sense and a bad sense. In a good sense self-imposed limits could also be called self-control. In the bad sense self-imposed limits could be categorized as fear and other negative things. For today, I'm talking about the bad sense. We limit ourselves more than anyone else would even be able to. You've probably heard the question, what would you do if...? We think about what we would do if... And then we talk ourselves out of doing and chasing our dreams. Only we can put those barriers up and only we can remove them. What is holding you back from being the complete you? Unless you follow your dreams and goals you will be incomplete. I believe everyone is truly capable of greatness, it's those who remove their limitations who attain it. You can.

Is going to be a great day. I've decided that. No matter what happens, I have decided it will be a good one. Join me in this decision, if you can :)

How do we let something that is simply a decision away, remain so elusive, so often? If joy is ALWAYS a decision away, why isn't it always chosen? Focus. There seems to be a negative bias in us. I have no real concrete explanations on why we have this. But it seems to be the case for a large majority of people. We have a tendency to focus on the negative. We focus on what we don't have rather than what we do have. Or we focus on what's wrong rather than what's right. That's a negative bias. Re-Focus. Focus on the good rather than the bad. There will ALWAYS be both in your life. Focus on the good. Ignore that base human negative bias. Choose joy. Focus on the good.

Sometimes no decision is the best decision. The average adult makes about 35,000 decisions per day. WOW! ( source here ) Something interesting happens on a daily basis. There are only so many decisions a person can make on a daily basis, in a competent manner. So as the day goes along, your ability to make decisions lessens. Recognizing this can help save you from making bad decisions. Sometimes the best decision is no decision at the time being, but rather a delayed decision. Sleeping on a decision is generally a good thing. How often do rash decisions come back and bite one? Probably quite often.

I don't know if there has ever been a more profound advertisement. (This advertisement with Steve Jobs' voiceover never aired. They aired another version with an actor doing the voiceover)

I am confident in saying there have never been busier times in human history. We extend ourselves in so many directions every day. We take in crazy amounts of information daily. We are involved in more than ever before. At a cost though. Most people, me included, do not take time to breathe in. Burnout is real. Sometimes you will never recover 100% from burnout. The thing is, nobody will manage this for you. Companies, other people and even yourself will keep piling on more and more and more and more. You have to manage burnout for yourself. Know your limits. Burnout can be a combination of physical, mental and emotional factors. Know your mental limits. Know your physical limits. Be careful if you push those limits because sometimes complete recovery isn't possible. Scheduled rest is not unproductive. Rest is an integral part of human life. Without proper rest/work balance we will eventually burnout.

I've been attempting to make it a practice of mine to actually listen to people. It's hard because I so often want to do the talking :) so it's been a great exercise for me. And I'm learning so much when I listen because I have noticed if I don't ask questions and listen, all I have is my assumptions. And my assumptions have a high ratio of being wrong. As I'm listening I'm realizing we all have different thoughts and ideas and no two people can agree on everything. Even in a marriage relationship people have different ideas and that is both okay and good. In all relationships there has to be a mutual understanding to "agree to disagree" and to also be okay with differing. There are very few issues that I can think of that should cause division. Let's not let differences of thoughts cause division. Agreeing to disagree is one of lifes best compromises. ( See my post about good vs. bad compromise here ). Agree to disagree, but don't pu...

You can motivate people using two primary methods. 1) Cracking the whip and being a drill sergeant. 2) Beliving in and encouraging them. They both work, but the first method has a very limited life. The second method works longer and better. That isn't to say there is the occasional need to potentially employ the first tactic modestly, but as an overarching method, I believe the second should be the primary method. I've seen the first tactic motivate people to accomplish some things. I've seen the second tactic do the same though. I would say start with the second and use the first very very sparingly, if at all.

Today is Heritage Day in Alberta. A holiday created to celebrate and acknowledge the heritage of this province.  It got me thinking about my heritage. Then got me thinking about how far back can I trace my heritage. If I want, I can trace my heritage way back to the same place as everyone reading this. Certain scientist have agreed all humanity can trace its ancestory back to a common ancestor. This means we are all connected. Everyone is my brother or sister.  If everyone is my relative, it is my job to care about them.  Let's not ignore those in need around us, regardless of race, social status or religious association. We are all undeniably connected and related. What would happen if every human being adopted the attitude that we are all family, regardless of the differences between people? I suspect there would be a whole lot less hate, division and even murder.  We're connected, we're family and we need each other. That's our heritage.