My Riffs

Best solution: each side gives enough to meet in the middle. Bad solution: one side gives way more in order to reach the other side. Worst solution: neither side gives and the bridge isn't built. Best solution: requires compromise. Bad solution: requires dominance. Worst solution: requires pride.

One of the most powerful things humans can do, and I think have an obligation to do, is create. No other species has this ability to create like humans, and especially create transcendent things like art and ideas. Creation is powerful. We can create art, music, literature, products, ideas, worlds, etc. All of which are needed and valuable, and all make our world what it is. It took someone to create all the things we use and take for granted everyday. It took someone to form the ideas and norms we take for granted. It took someone to create the present, that we enjoy. This begs the question, what are you creating?

Because something has always been done a certain way, doesn’t make it the way to move forward. Because something previously worked doesn’t make it the way to do things going forward. History should teach, not be something we attempt to carbon copy. When we get stuck on the historical methods we’ve always used, we limit our future. History should teach, not be repeated. We may say if it’s not broken don’t fix it. But if we don’t maintain and improve, it will break.

Or so it seems...  So when things are calm that’s the time to prepare for crisis, famine, tragedy, etc.  When things are calm, you can know it won’t last and start preparing.  We sacrifice in the present to make for a better future. And it’s a constant trade off between the two. You just have to balance how much of today you will sacrifice for the future. Sacrifice too much of the present and life will bite you. Don’t sacrifice enough for the future and life will bite you too. 

When we say someone has “made it”, what have they made? It seems that those who have “made it” often aren’t happier or don’t have a better quality of life. I would say those who have made it are those who genuinely smile and laugh the most. Those who are truly happy.

The best growth and expansions require venturing into the unknown. Not to the complete unknown, but partial unknown. It takes a delicate balance of staying within the known and venturing into the unknown. Expanding a business, expanding our learning, expanding our skills requires going somewhere we haven’t been before. Getting past our comfort zone. The comfort zone is the known, and it’s needed. But if you fully dwell there, you will die. The unknown is uncomfortable, but you have to go there to live. You can’t fully dwell here either as the risks here are too large and likely could end up destroying you too.

What does knowledge and understanding cost? Attention. You must pay attention in order to receive knowledge and understanding. This may seem blatantly obvious, but how much do we miss out on because we're not willing to pay the price of attention? Two people can go through the same experience and once gain knowledge simply because they paid attention. It's an interesting phase we seemingly speak without thinking, "pay attention". The phrase implies that attention is currency. When we pay with attention, we receive knowledge and understanding. Which is power. Not power in a ruler or tyrannical way, but power to have vision, clarity and understanding. Pay someone you care for your attention. You will receive what you paid for. Pay for learning by giving your attention. Paying using our attention is a wonderfully simple idea and worthwhile exchange.

Want to fix a problem? Want to understand something? Want to learn and retain something? It must have a name. You cannot get your proverbial hands around something if it doesn't have a name. In a sense something doesn't fully exist until it has a name. A name is so important. Naming something is so incredibly important. This is why we have to speak truth. Truth is one way of naming something. Until something is named, it can't be dealt with, whether in a good way or bad way. Truth is a way of taking something that exists in somewhat of a borderless form and says, here's what it is, and here's it's borders, and here's it's limits, and here is what you're dealing with. But until it's named, through truth, it's a bit formless. Name it! (this another post inspired by Jordan B Peterson)

It's almost never one event. Of course life has at times it's way of thrusting you into chaos when you least expect it. But by in large, we never arrive anywhere with one decision, or one event or one step. It's always a series of events. This is great news as it allows us to make missteps and still end up where we want, provided it doesn't become a series. So it we mess up, it's okay. Just don't let it become a series of mess ups. Make sure the mistakes are one-offs and the right decisions are a series.

When do you decide something is good enough? Or does it need to keep being improved? Once it's decided that it's good enough, you've just given it an end of life. It may not be immediate, but it still has an end of life. But when you decide it can still be improved, you are extending the life span. Sometimes it's best to decide something is good enough, so it can be retired and you can move on. But if it's something of value, it's best to continuously improve. So do you say it's good enough and then move on? Or do you continue improving something? It depends on the situation.

The most profound and simplest truths don’t contain a refute. A truth that starts as a refute is a weakened truth. Truths stand on their own. Any kind of trying to weaken another position weakens the truth as well. A truth doesn’t need to refute. The truth on its own refutes any false claims. Let your truth stand for itself.

The challenge of being in the middle of something is accurately representing both sides. This applies to middle managers in organizations, as well as being in the middle of any negotiation or conflict. Portraying the workers to top level management while portraying top level management to the workers. Or portraying the two sides to each other in a conflict. The role is critical and demands precision and accuracy. When this flow isn’t happening back and forth, all sides suffer. The end result can be as bad as total collapse. Healthy organizations, conflicts and negotiations have a accurate representation top down and bottom up, through middle tier leaders. When flow becomes lopsided all suffer. The flow can become lopsided by the middle leader, or either side. It takes cohesive balance to make it work properly.

The other side has a valid point too. How much consideration have you given the counter point or the other side? They likely haven’t lost their mind.

There are few things that don't come with an exception. In a world that isn't black and white, there are absolutes, but they generally even come with exceptions. We can let the exceptions rock us or we can learn to incorporate them into our thinking. Incorporating them into our thinking, and at least acknowledging them, allows our framework to understand the world better. It should allow us to live as if there aren't absolutes, but what it should do it allows us to understand the exceptions we see constantly around us.

The best way to initiate action is by compelling someone to action. Compelling is a fuel that lasts the longest and is most efficient and takes you the furthest. When you have to demand action, you have already lost. It's an admission that the attempt to compel did not work. Oftentimes it is better to invest in the message, the plan to compel action, rather than invest the energy to demand something. The cost of a demand is the future.  The cost of compelling is the present. The reward of a demand may be the short term present. The reward of compelling should be the long term future.

Avoiding a problem or something we don't want to address always means that thing will continue to grow. Avoidance rarely if ever alleviate an issue. Avoidance is a good way to feed the issue. Tackling the difficult things is where true value is anyway. It doesn't mean it's easy, but it has more value than doing the easy thing(s).

What if we did all the small, easy things right today? Opening the door for someone, said thank you to someone, smiled at someone, let someone know their work is appreciated. A text message. A card. An email. A phone call. These small things make a big difference to those we do them for.

Living unselfishly costs a lot. But what's interesting, living selfishly costs a lot more. When your purpose is outside of yourself, there is much joy to be found in that purpose. When your purpose is all selfish things, joy is extremely limited. Joy is obviously a decision always, but the areas to find joy in are generally never within ourselves. The decision is within ourselves and the cause is outside of us.

Instead of working to make our lives problem free, we should work on being buoyant. You can never achieve a problem free life, but you can get better at keeping your head above the inevitable problems. If we had the attitude that problems are a fact of life and it’s just our response to problems we need to get good it, our lives would be more stable and happy.  Work towards being a good problem solver rather than trying the impossible task of eliminating problems from your life. 

I think so often we don’t grow and change as people is because we’re unwilling to let go of parts of ourselves. How much of yourself are you willing to let go of? When a better trait, quality, behaviour is within our grasp it almost always requires us to let go of a portion of ourselves. Generally the bad and opposite part of ourselves as the new part. But when something becomes part of us, we are so unwilling to let go of it for some reason. We dislike letting parts of ourselves to die in order for new ones to live. What if we were more willing to let go of these parts of ourselves?

The emotion doesn't distill the facts down to reality, it muddies the waters. Emotions distort reality. Emotions aren't wrong, but they aren't helpful in viewing reality and making decisions. To get down to the true facts in order to make decisions you have to remove the emotion as much as possible. Emotion causes us to dislike a thought because of who delivers the thought. Emotion causes us to like thought simply because of who delivers the thought. Emotions causes us to think something is unbearable when it's really bearable. Emotions cause us to think something is bearable when it's really unbearable. Drain the situation of emotion, then make proper analyzing and decisions. Never make decisions when emotional. They very likely will be the wrong choice.

If your not engaging in dialogue that challenges you and sometimes involves friction, then you likely aren't growing. We learn in one major way through dialogue. Dialogue is where we can present our ideas and have them challenges. And in having them challenged, learn. We can shape our ideas by the feedback from others. But if we're not engaging in meaningful dialogue, then we likely aren't being presented with new ideas and our ideas aren't being challenged. How do we know were wrong? Oftentimes by someone telling us, or guiding us to see we're wrong. So engage in meaningful dialogue. If there's friction, that's a great thing. Use it to it's benefit.

A title of leadership doesn’t make somebody a true leader. Leadership is a action, not a title. Some receive the title of a leader but there is no leadership in terms of a verb. Leaders usually rise from the ranks of the common. The inclination for top level leaders is to put people into leadership who don’t challenge them. When this is the case people don’t generally follow or trust these types of leaders. The important thing is, leaders must speak truth. Towing company lines is not leadership. Leadership is speaking truth, providing direction and then examplifying the direction. Leaders in title only often won’t speak truth for the expense of their title. But the title alone provides no benefit, both to the leader and the people they’re supposed to be leading. The position of leadership must trump the title of leadership and there are times the two doesn’t coexist. A leader has to make unpopular decisions or sometimes say the unpopular or unfavorable thing. A leader is kno...

It's easier to start over then we often think. Restarting a project. Restarting a program. Restarting a broken relationship. The keys are: humility, honesty and love. And the restart almost always starts with the words "I'm sorry...". You can always restart, it's what you're willing to do with the pride involved.

Being kind is the default. There are very few situations where kindness isn't the default. When we break this rule, there are consequences. Not always immediate but eventually there will be repercussions. So keep the rules.

How would the problem be solved if you were alone on an island with the problem? If all the extra factors, pride, option and etc were removed?

People are looking less for perfection and more for direction. Perfection is a bit of an impractical goal. But direction is practical. People want to be part of something that they feel is going somewhere. You can’t provide perfection, but you can provide clear direction. And that’s what people buy into.

Complexity often means misunderstanding. It often means the opposite of profound.  It seems the most profound is usually the most simple.  It take understanding to boil complexity down to simplicity.  Make things simple. This means they can be grasped, attained and used. It means you understand too. 

A position of leadership means putting the good of the people ahead of invidivual good. Doing what's best for the people, organization, group, etc. This doesn't mean the leader always makes the most popular decisions, but a good leader makes decisions based on the greatest good for the greatest amount of people. It gets dangerous when a leader puts their own good ahead of those under their care. What's good for the leader doesn't always align with what's best for the group. A leader putting their own good and agenda ahead of the group is a dangerous thing. The whole group suffers. It's important leaders are committed to the good of the group over themselves. It's a very unselfish position. Leaders who get this wrong cause HUGE damage.

What if everyone in an organization used their talents and skills to do whatever they wanted? More or less it would be chaos. What if everyone used their talents and skills together to build something? Something major would happen. The difference between the two is vision. Vision unifies diversity, while preserving the diversity.

It's not found in things. It's found in experiences. Pursue experiences, not things.