My Riffs

What are pure intentions? Probably the best definition I can think of is, interests that benefit the largest amount of people. Conversely, what would an un-pure intention be? Probably intentions that are primarily self-serving that take away from the common good of others or the community. So the opposite would be intentions that serve others/the greater good. I think the best decisions have two consistent qualities: - They benefit the maximum amount of people. - They are good for the long-term. Decisions that are benefit one person, generally (not categorically) are not the best. Decisions that only help in the short-term, generally are not the best.

Context is the full picture or at least the more full picture. The widest viewpoint possible. A fork on its own is nothing. A fork with a plate of food is something. Same with context. The issue, or the information on its own is nothing. We can get upset at somebody or a situation, but often stepping back and looking at the fuller picture, there are reasons on why that person is upsetting us. Or there is a reason why a situation is bothering us. When we step back and put the problem/irritation/frustration into big-picture context we often find out things along the following lines: - The person was not intending to offend - The situation is not as big of a deal as we thought - The problem is an opportunity - The problem may lay within us, not the external factor The point here is, try and apply some context to your issues/problems/frustrations. You will often find some comfort and understanding in just applying context. The poet/songwriter Bob Dylan offered some great advi...

What I do, affects you. And what you do, affects me. Let's make good, positive, constructive decisions. Bad decisions can bring the whole community down. If we are going to be connected, we are going to be inter-dependent. We all must hold our end up. But we all must feel okay in making mistakes. I hope for a community where we can confess our faults and problems to each other. Where there will be no judgement in confession. Where there will be strengthening and accountability in confession. We are connected, not just in the good times, and not just when we are strong (or putting on a strong image). We are connected when we are weak and need each other. Let's not hide our weaknesses. If we are weak, there is strength to be found in community. And that strength surrounding us can only make the entire connected community stronger. If we hide our weaknesses, we weaken the connected community.

Sometimes a smile is just a small boost, making a tough day or moment just bearable enough to keep going. Sometimes someone else needs your smile. Smile liberally, just not creepily :)

It is becoming increasingly obvious that connectedness is beyond important. It is hyper-critical to thrive and succeed. By oneself ultimate success is not possible. Attaining ultimate success requires the work and fine tuning that can only come from a connected environment and community. Connectedness in planning. Connectedness in decision making. Connectedness in problem solving. Connectedness in thinking and creating. Connectedness in execution. Connectedness facilities collaboration. Connectedness fosters accountability. Connectedness sharpens and refines. Connectedness provides exponential strength. Connectedness is powerful. Disconnection is crippling. Disconnects happen when there is lack of connectedness. Disconnects lead to misunderstanding, suppression and ultimately demise. Connect: Talk, listen, listen, believe, create, share, provide feedback, mentor, ask, give, love.

It is interesting how in the majority of people, there is a desire to make their parents happy. They may not do as their parents wish or want for them, but inside there is some need or want to have their parents approval. Not having their parents love and approval sometimes seems to scar people. It is sad and a tragedy when you hear an adult say their parents never said they loved them and etc. I want to (and I currently do) believe in my children. And I want to believe in those around me. I want to believe in people and trust them. I want to enable people around me to walk on their own and not be a helicopter parent or influence. If I am going to trust someone to run, I cannot hover. They have to run.

All human beings are incomplete. We all lack in some areas and need help in some. And that is okay. No one person has it all together. It is okay to admit a weakness, there's strength to gain in that. It is okay to fail, there are lessons learned in failure. It is okay to be wrong, there is nothing to be ashamed about in being wrong. It is okay to make mistakes, this is one of our most prime learning opportunities. Nobody is perfect. I am not. You are not. And that is okay. Let's be authentic and vulnerable with each other and not act as if we have it all together.

You can know a lot about something, and still be wrong. Quantity of knowledge does not always equate to being right. You can seemingly have all the answers even and still be wrong. Sometimes exhaustively knowing something just is more blinding. Honesty more often leads to being right. In scientific matters, scientists and researchers have devoted their entire careers to proving a theory or law. They thoroughly know a subject and fully believe in a theory they have proposed. Their theory or proposed law could then overturned in one study or report. It could even be overturned by someone or a group who knows less than them. In areas of work, you can be in a senior level position, know a lot about your field, and still be wrong. It takes one new finding or product or system to completely disrupt and overturn what you thought you knew. The point of this is to say, for most human, non work-related things, being "right" means being honest (and usually intellectually hon...

For far too long I felt wise in finding faults and levelling criticism. But that on it's own is cheap. My wise friend tweeted this: Critical thinking helps us become wiser. Fault finding only makes us feel wiser. Focus on insights gained, not faults discerned. — Mark D. King (@theMarkDKing) June 20, 2016 This is a absolutely perfect way to sum up the difference between being critical and using critical thinking. It is easy to be critical, and easy to feel smart in finding faults and problems. Real wisdom is shown in finding solutions and gaining insights.

The are a lot of reasons why I started this blog. I am honoured that anyone would spend time to read my thoughts. I'm not a great writer like some of my friends. So thank you everyone was has spent time to read this. I hope I have not, or will not waste your time. To provide some background, context and explain the "why" of this blog, here is some background: I felt like I was in a negative space and wanted to force myself to start thinking and being more positive. One way to do this was to write something positive every day. There is more than enough negativity in the world, this is my tiny contribution to offsetting negativity.  I wanted to document the daily lessons I was learning. That way I can look back and remember what I have learned. It would also force me to think a little more and try to grasp the lessons that were occurring around me.  I thought the daily discipline of writing something positive, no matter what, would be a good exercise for me. Good for se...

How do you overcome your present undesirable situation? I've given this much thought, and there is no magic answer :) However, what I think the best, most effective approach to overcoming present undesirable situations is by living and operating how you want things to be, rather than they are. Do not let the present situation dictate your mood, feelings and actions. Dictate what you want your mood, feelings and actions to be, to the present situation. Be the change you are looking for. Live out in the present, unideal circumstances, by behaving how you want the circumstances to be. An example... You work in an office where moral is low. You can either join in on the low moral or you can inject what you want the circumstances to be into the present situation. You can be happy, you can by upbeat and positive in the midst of the low moral. Another example... You do not like where you live. You can bemoan and complain and let your dwelling place dictate negativity and dis...

My cereal box offered this piece of wisdom from Robert Louis Stevenson. "Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant". Everyone is planting something; good, bad or indifferent. Good seed will bring positive and good harvest. Bad seed will harvest negative and harmful results. Planting no seed will bring weeds. And weeds will grow and choke the life from the field. This has been the called law of the harvest. I've heard it referred to as Karma. (I don't know much about the origins of this term). You will reap what you plant though. Bad things happen to good people, but at the summation of things you will reap what you plant. You are going to plant something, so you may as well plant good seeds.

Knowing your limits is important. Sometimes you want to stay within your limits.  Sometimes you want and need to push past them.  A song lyric (I'm not endorsing the song) wisely says, " You've got to know when to hold 'em  Know when to fold 'em ". 

The upfront cost of something is rarely the true cost. Total Cost of Ownership (TCO) is the term used to attempt to quantify the true cost of something. It includes the upfront cost, plus all the additional upkeep and maintenance costs for the like of the product. A car is obviously a great example of this. The upfront cost is only part of the true cost. After the upfront cost you have: - Insurance costs - Gas costs - Maintenance costs - Registration costs - Tickets/fines? :( I think this goes for things in life too. Everything we take on has a cost. A job, a position, a role... Sometimes it is easy to feel like something does not cost a lot upfront, but it ends up costing us a lot in the long run. Thus, every decision we make is super important, even the smaller decisions. We can take on another job/project/role/duty, but the cost of it may be doing a worse job in your other job/project/role/duty. This analogy of cost really hits home when it comes to making bad decisi...

Marketers and Sociologists would love your answer to this question. Marketers want to know what drives you so they can fulfill that drive with something material. Sociologists stive to answer this question so they can analyze data and predict human behaviours. Some people are completely driven by money. They spend their life working towards being rich. Some people are driven by fame. They will do anything to be well-known and famous. Some people are driven by their career. Some are driven by the need and want to be part of a group. Some people are driven by the want to make a difference around them. I think everyone has a driver though. I've struggled to identify the one thing that drives me, but I think if I could narrow it down to one thing, it is to be Christ-like in it's purest form. That is a super tall order, and something humanly unattainable. But it makes for what I think the best possible driver. And a huge caveat here, I fail utterly at this. By absolu...

I have realized recently, so many of the things we complain about, when you distill them down, are actually the good things in our life. It stinks to wake up early and go to work, but it's pretty cool somebody values your skills enough to pay for them. I complain that I didn't get enough sleep at night because of children, but actually I have two healthy children to be thankful for. It stinks to go to school for 12+ years, but it's pretty amazing we have the minds to learn and also there are many many people who do not have the opportunity to get an education. So having the opportunity for education is a huge blessing. Bills are no fun to pay, but it's pretty nice having garbage picked up, medical paid for, paved roads, cell phones, houses... This could go on and on. I encourage you to examine the things you complain about. I would almost guarantee that once you think through the complaint, there is actually something to be thankful for at the base of the comp...

Circles are an interesting shape. Depending on the size, they can be a sign of inclusion or exclusion. I find I often draw small circles. Excluding people I do not agree with on every-thing. I draw a circle and exclude people I cannot easily identify with. I draw small circles and exclude people I have a lot in common with, but differ slightly in some areas. I draw small circles and exlude those who irritate me or take too much of my time. I draw small circles and rob myself of friendships and influence; of learning and growth experiences. I have been taking it upon myself to draw larger circles and see who I can take in rather than cut out. Influencing those outside your circle is tough. Better to bring those you want to influence into your circle. Abraham Lincoln understood this. Following his election, he placed his rivals for the election in positions of power (his cabinet). He knew he could accomplish more by bringing in those who he had disagreements with and working ...

The world needs your contributions, so create. Only you can create what you can create. There is only one Pablo Picasso, Steve Jobs and Nelson Mandela. So the same, there is only one you. Only you can create what you should create. Find what makes you happy and make it. Writings, applications, paintings, music, poetry and on and on. We need what you can create. There has never been a better time to create and share. There have never been better tools to do so. The barriers to entry have never been so few. There are no excuses.

We are born predisposed to certain things, both good and bad. That doesn't mean that we have to follow those predispositions. We may have to fight them harder, but we do not have to give into them. Every person has predispositions that we would rather not have. It is unavoidable. The good news is we do not have to accept the predispositions as "part of us". Some people give up and say things like "it is just who I am", but it is not! Your course is under your control. Your predisposition may require frequent course adjustments, but at no point does the predisposition take over the wheel. Unless you let it. If every person could realize the power of decision...

I think we often make the mistake of thinking we're better than someone befause we're different from them. Or thinking we are better because we're better at one individual skill or task. Different doesn't equal better. Different equals different. 

I am told a lot of the difficulties in raising a child during their "terrible twos" phase is due to the fact of them learning and testing their boundaries. They want to know what is acceptable and what is not. I am no expert in parenting, but what I want is to teach my kids as young as possible is to determine boundaries on their own. This doesn't mean give them free reign and let them do as they feel. But rather, to provide guidance and framework so they can make wise, educated decisions as they get older. It's unavoidable, teenagers often make a lot of bad decisions, and adults (including myself) still make bad decisions too. But knowing the difference between a bad a good decision is important. The difference between making a good or bad decision is knowing boundaries and repercussions of the action. Every action has a consequence and a cost. Wrong actions usually have a bad consequence and right actions generally have a good consequence. Wrong actions usuall...

The Information Age has really levelled out the knowledge field. Just knowing something is unfortunately no longer the advantage it was. Understanding something though is better than simply knowing. In the past, knowing something was a huge advantage. You could make a career of simply knowing something other people didn't know. Technology has levelled that out. Knowing something is no longer special. You can know the temperature outside, but not understand how the weather works, how the temperature scale works. If you understand weather patterns and the temperature scale, you now know the temperature outside, and understand the underlying reasons for that temperature, you have more to bring to the table than someone who simply knows the temperature. That may be a silly analogy, but with more and more automation replacing people's jobs, separating yourself from other candidates will be more and more challenging. In the workforce, simply knowing something is not enough t...

Things left untouched, in their natural state will decline. Grass needs to be mowed, dishes need to be washed, our hair, nails and etc all require maintenance. It's just a part of life. Routine maintenance of the things that are important to us prevents decay. An abandoned building will quickly be overtaken by decay if left unmaintained. The same requirement goes for our inner person to. It takes maintenance on our attitude, our outlook and our vision. Leave these things unmaintained and they will decay. The same requirement goes for organizations and communities. Maintenance is not the fun work, but it is essential to longevity. I'm not referring to maintenance mode where you are reactive and fix breaks, but I am speaking to preventative and proactive maintenance that builds. Where possible, it is better to strengthen what already exists then to restart from scratch. When it comes to your character, it is much much better to work on the existing rather than re-build...

Authenticity is obviously important, and it is especially important to the younger generations. I previously wrote about this here . But what really is authenticity? It is a bit difficult of a topic to completely define as a lot of authenticity is based on feelings, intuition, EQ and not something necessarily quantifiable. The dictionary definition of authenticity as found here is: 1. The quality of being authentic, genuine. The opposite of genuine is obviously fake. The definition of authentic is where is starts making more sense in relation to the Millenial generation. This definition is found here and is: 1. not false or copied; genuine; real: 2. having the origin supported by unquestionable evidence;authenticated; verified: 3. entitled to acceptance or belief because of agreement with known facts or experience; reliable; trustworthy: I can only surmise, but I wonder if why Millenials seek authenticity so much is due to the fact so much of their world is digital. Wh...

One cannot know it all. One cannot have all the best ideas. One cannot dream up the grandest ideas and visions. There is huge power in collaboration. If everybody brings their best ideas to the table, the pool of ideas is much great to draw from, and can actually spark even better ideas. Collaboration can lead to exponentially better results, not just linear results. Everybody has unique talents and giftings. Something magical can happen when you can a group of people united in a cause, each using their best giftings. To guard again group think, the environment must be open and the individuals not afraid to share their thoughts and ideas openly, without judgement. Also, without offence if their idea isn't the best or the one taken or possibly shot down. IF this element of openness isn't there, the power of collaboration is lost.

Accountability is an interesting topic that I've been thinking about recently. Accountability is essential to maintaining integrity. Leaders without accountability should not be followed. Leadership is inherently tied to accountability. Leaders have an extra burden of both accountable to piers, but also to the people following. If they are missing the tier top level accountability, their leadership to those under them fails. If there is no accountability in ones life, the risk and chance of moral and other failure is all but guaranteed. Find people you can trust and make yourself accountable to them.

If  you want a good result, it takes work.  Things left to themselves will fail. Maintenance mode is the road to failure. Maintenance mode is when a product reaches it developed lifecycle and nothing new is done to the product. Only mistakes are fixed, but the product is no longer being developed.  Work must be put in for a successful end result. Not only work to start, but work throughout the lifespan.   

It is so common and almost natural for us to both define ourselves and others by our occupations. IT guy, mailman, construction worker... We get it so wrong though. Those things are not what we are, they are what we do. We are getting it backwards. For me, I am an aspiring Christian, a husband, a dad and a friend. I do some occupational things to provide for my family, but those things do not define me. If you are defining yourself by occupation or career, as so many people I meet are, that makes for a shallow existence. Defining yourself by more important things is a more fulfilling position. You should define yourself as a parent, a friend, a leader, a helper and etc... There is so much more depth and meaning in those things. The even deeper picture of who you are can be found in the areas of life not often or sometimes ever visible to others. - The thoughts you dwell on and entertain are a picture of who you really are. - How you act and behave when nobody can see/hear y...

If you haven't changed yourself in recent memory, that should be alarming. At no point in life have you reached a point where you have it all figured out or have arrived at a place to stay. Unlike our physical body, our inner person always should keep growing. If you feel like you're 100% comfortable with where and who you are, be alarmed.

Obviously we speak to communicate. But if you start to think about it, communication is often NOT the reason we speak. It is an interesting exercise to consider all the reasons we speak. Upon consideration, I think we often speak for the wrong reasons. For example: - We often speak to share our opinion, but not hear anyone else's. - We often speak to cater to what the listener wants to hear. - We often speak because we are uncomfortable with quiet/silence. - We often speak to try and show we are smart, or smarter than someone else. - We often speak to be seen/heard. - We often speak to criticize and say something negative or even hurtful. - We often speak to cause controversy, or "stir the pot". - We often speak to feel part of the group whether we truly agree or not. So speaking often is not used for pure communication, but rather for posturing or other reasons. What if we were much more intentional with our words, and simply thought before we spoke, and i...