My Riffs

It’s a New Year tomorrow! Make sustainable and small goals. Thats how big goals are attained, through many small attainable goals. 

The quality of your relationships will directly impact the quality of your life. You can't have a good quality of life without good relationships. If you have quality relationships you will have a good quality of life.

I spend too much of today stressing over tomorrow. But tomorrow will take care of itself. The energy is wasted by stressing about tomorrow. That energy was given to be used today. Stressing about tomorrow robs me of the energy I need for today.

Don’t worry about the people who you think dislike you. Don’t worry about the criticism or critics. Make friends. Invest that energy in friends. Building friendships is a compounding interest investment. You will get compound interest on your investments. Find good people and build good friendships with them. It’s one of the best ways to elevate your life. 

Merry Christmas!!! Wishing everyone the best Christmas!!

We’re all magnetic. We’re going to attract people generally similar to ourselves. If we are a kind person we will probably attract kinder people. If you’re mean and negative that’s also what you’re going to attract. Becoming someone good becomes an exponentially better undertaking because in doing so you will attract a better community and network. 

Waiting for joy to come may prove to be a fruitless exercise. Or it may come for fleeting moments. But joy is something you have to choose. Not every moment needs joy. Some moments would be inappropriate for joy. But joy is a choice we have to make over and over again. It will become more natural the more you choose it. So choose joy!

It’s a noisy world, Mr. Rogers said in an interview. That was quite some time ago though. Today’s world is noisier beyond imagination. It’s hard to focus. It’s hard to hear what people are actually saying. It’s difficult to think. It’s difficult to really learn and grow. It’s too loud and the noise pollution isn’t making anything clearer. You have to purposely get away from the noise and search out the quiet. There you can find more clarity and peace. 

If you’re wanting things to change then you have to make changes. Hoping for change won’t do much. But you have to do something in order to initiate changes. If you keep getting the same outcome, you have to change the inputs. How do you know things will be different? When you change what’s been happening beforehand. 

Choose experiences over things. Things don’t actually last, but experiences can. Experiences can live in our memories and can live with us if the experience changes us. 

There’s always a way forward. It may not always be clear and sometimes you have to blaze the trail forward. But there’s always a way forward. Stopping and giving up is never the right option. Forward is the only way to go. 

Instead of criticizing, offer suggestions for improvement. Criticism doesn’t help. But improvements do. If you suggest an improvement you give space for a review and consideration to improve. But a criticism is simply a shot that causes damage. 

Don’t leave anything on a low note. If something difficult or bad has to be said or done, leave it on a high note. It will make the experience feel a whole lot better. 

Success is never done alone. It’s always done with the help of friends, family and community. This highlights the importance of developing good relationships. Our success depends on the people we have surrounded ourselves with. And their success will depend on us behind the best we can be. 

There may times it’s tempting to repay evil with evil or just bad with bad. But it won’t help. Repaying bad with bad just makes it more bad. Do good. Don’t let your ego get in the way. Always do good and you will become a bigger and better person. 

If you want to get better, if you want a better life, fix a lot of little things. You don't have to immediately go big. Start with the small. The effect of getting lots of little things right amounts to a large effect. Fixing little things is manageable, accomplishable and helps you feel good about making changes. Write a list and start fixing things. 

If you can't say it, then it likely needs to be said. There's a time to refrain from speaking and there's a time to speak. If you feel like you can't say it, there has to be an issue that has gotten to a point where it's become larger than it should have. Speaking early and often helps prevent these situations. It's not about quantity of words or speech though, it's about quality and timing.

You will know your friends by your lows and your highs. Who shows up and who leaves during those times will say a lot. A good friend who will stay by you though lows and highs are invaluable and worth investing in. 

It’s best to make no assumptions. We do have to make assumptions in our day to day life. But it’s best to hold those very loosely. Because when making an assumption, we’re forming opinions with little to no information. And we’re not always right when we do so. When possible make no assumptions. There’s always two sides to a story and there’s always at least two ways to look at a situation. So don’t assume, there’s a good chance your assumption is wrong or incomplete at best. 

Just be kind! There is a huge kindness deficit in the world. We don’t need any more mean people, mean comments or mean behaviour. Add kindness to the world, because it’s contagious. Your kindness will start a kindness cycle and reach more people than just the one you’re being kind to. 

The biggest regrets we have is when we haven't given it our all. It's a lesson to give it our best. Whatever we're involved with, our best should be given. You can feel good after you've given your best, no matter the outcome.

Things don’t grow without a lot of care. Care can mean different things based on the situation. But if you want to grow anything, you have to care for it. When things aren’t cared for they go into disrepair. What you want to grow, you just invest in with much care. 

If you're not getting better, you are getting worse. It may be very slowly worse, but you're for sure getting worse. We have to continually be getting better or else we slip backwards. It's part of being human always having to push forward and never being able to successfully rest on our achievements.

The more honest you are the stronger you are. Dishonesty makes us weaker and less effective. Honesty can transform our world from something chaotic and unsure into something we can put our hands around and work with. This means honesty with ourselves and honesty with others too. Honesty in our actions and words. Honesty is the only policy. 

The best investments are in people not things or financial mechanisms.

Your attitude directs the outcome. Whether things go good or bad your attitude still shapes the real outcome. The worst outcome can be shaped by a great attitude. 

Sometimes the wind is at your back. Sometimes it’s in your face. Running into the wind isn’t an enjoyable experience but there’s value in it. There’s value when things go our way but also when they go against us. 

We can't sit back in life and wait for things to happen for us. We have to go do it ourselves. Help is needed and we need other people, but that doesn't negate the need for us to go do it. Good things come to those who wait, but only who wait for things out of their control. What's in our control we must take ownership of.

Make your head a nice place to live. We can’t escape our thoughts so we may as well make it a nice place to dwell. The mind can be trained. Train it and shape it into a great place to live!

Honesty isn’t just the best policy, it’s the only policy. Dishonesty may be easier in the moment but it will cost you later. Follow honesty, you will pay the price up front but the reward will follow later. 

What everyone has in common is 24 hours in a day. Some people choose to do wiser things than some others with that time. And those are the ones who have better lives usually.

It's best to err on the side of mercy with people. There isn't a person who isn't dealing with some type of issue in their life. So what may come off as them doing something wrong to you may simply be a manifestation of something they're struggling with in their life.

Worry robs us of today. So much of what we worry about doesn't even happen. We should know that worry isn't a good use of time or energy, but we are seemingly wired to worry. If we can learn to worry about todays problems we can use that energy so much more efficiently.

The world needs more good examples. Thats one of the best things you can aim for, to be a good example. There’s a deficit of good and good examples, offset that and you will be doing a good work!

We all have so much to be thankful for. But those who live in gratitude are the ones who take time to count up all their blessings.

Develop your character before anything else. Develop it before your skills. Develop it before your physical strength. Develop it before your career. Your character will be what carries and sustains you as you develop other areas of your life. Talent, strength or hard work will only go so far without the underlying bedrock of character. 

Experience costs a lot. But it’s the only way to get better. Experience can also make us worse if we don’t use it properly. So turn your experiences into growth. 

Secrets are weakness. Secrets don't make us stronger they make us weaker. The cost of revealing secrets is worth it because the consequence of revealing a secret isn't worse than the weakness it's costing.

Some people talk about doing a lot of things. Others do a lot of things instead of talking. Actions always speak louder than words. Many times it's better to just show by doing rather than telling. 

I run into a lot more problems when I make everything about me. When I let things happen and realize that it’s not really about me, things get a whole lot easier. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the thoughts and feelings that everything is about us. But letting go of that and letting things happen without it being personal is so freeing. This isn’t saying to be aloof. It’s to say don’t take so much personally.

The saying says if you can believe it, you can achieve it. This is true. You rarely attain anything you don’t believe in. Belief comes first. So practice believing in yourself! You need people to believe in you but you have to believe in yourself too!

The closer you are to something the better you can see it, but you lose perspective. From far away you have perspective but can't see it clearly. A good and balanced view can merge those two views together. You want the details but still maintain the perspective. 

If you can explain it, you understand it and have learned it. Thats why communication skills are so important. They help us with our learning and also help others. 

Pick a crew that lifts you up. Chose your friends very very wisely. One of the most defining decisions you can make is who you are close to. 

We can do something once or twice but can we do it consistently? Many things that are worth attaining require consistency. Consistency will help us achieve our goals, dreams and ambitions. 

Rest is where we recharge. We have to know certain things that help us feel better. We can’t neglect those things for too long without there being a cost. As humans we need to recharge in order to stay balanced and fulfilled. 

Seasons come and go. What’s important is recognizing the season and acting accordingly. One action may be wrong in a given season but right in the next season. Recognize the season and what action is appropriate for the season. You can make the seasons work in your favor if you do this. 

Do quality work. You will absolutely stand out if you do quality work. Many are looking to get by doing as little as possible, those doing good quality work are the exception to the norm.

It’s an amazing thing, when you pour into others, you grow. We need to invest in ourselves and take care of ourselves. But when we pour into others we grow by leaps and bounds.  

Those who have mastered communication are the most powerful. Communication is a skill that can be learned and tuned and it's worth doing so.

Be brutally honest with yourself and about yourself.  Say sorry fast.  Don’t make assumptions.  Keep learning.  Give.  Love. 

Every time we reach another year it’s a time to reflect. Reflect on the past year and also what’s to come for the future year. Everytime we reach another year; we have so much more to be grateful for. 

Good memories are priceless. As you get older memories become more precious and important. Spending effort to create memories is more worth it the older you get. And the simpler it gets. The best memories are usually because of the people we were with as much as the things we did. So find good people and spend time with them making memories!

I know some peoples love language is gifts. But I think the best and most long lasting gift we can give people is our presence. A connection with someone will make more of a difference than our gift could. So let’s be present for other people, that’s the best present we could give them. 

It's so easy to get the important things wrong. Jobs, material goods, time wasters all can take place of the important things in life. The important things are really the simple things though. If we can keep the simple, important things our priority than we are feeding the more valuable things in life.

I've never seen harshness lead somebody to be truly sorry. It may make someone afraid but it doesn't make them truly sorry. Kindness is a better response, even to someone who has wronged you. Kindness is generally the best response. Harshness is reserved for extreme instances and situations where being hard is necessary.

It's the connections that matter. We can spend time with people but not connect. And it's the connections we have in life that we learn from and grow from. Focus on connection. Connection is quality and quality is where we learn and grow from.

If you believe it you can do it. If you don't believe it, you likely can't do it. Belief comes before action. Believe in yourself, you can achieve it.

The small things are easy to overlook and miss being grateful for. But there's so many small things we've learned to take for granted. If we look at all the small things we have and what's gone right for us, it changes our attitude toward the things that may not be going so great.

We have a duty to build each other up. Not tear each other down, but to build each other up. We can do some building on our own but we also need others helping us build. And others need your help with their building. So don’t waste time tearing people down, there’s far too many people who need your time building. 

There so many things worth caring about, but there's a whole lot more not worth caring about. When we get those reversed we get weighed down by all the unnecessary. Caring about the things that matters brings life but the rest drains life.

We have to stop making so many assumptions. When we assume something, we tell ourselves it's a fact. It makes the assumption presumed correct and in effect will make it almost impossible to prove incorrect to us. We make so many assumptions every day. And in a way we have to. But the dangerous assumptions we make are about people. We assume someone was trying to slight us, ignore us, be rude to us. Those are very un-nuanced assumptions. Instead we should assume the person was distracted, busy or having a really bad day. But we instead choose to assume it was personal or someone is categorically a bad person. These assumption leave no room for fact or nuance. So it's best to stop assuming about people. It's better to assume the best and if the worst is reality, then it's not our problem to deal with.

Listening is more important than speaking. It's worth reminding myself that it's it's surprising how often people just need me to listen and not even talk. Listening does as much as talking does or could. When people feel heard and understood, they feel much better.

Getting better rarely looks like a smooth linear trajectory. It more resembles ups, downs, steps backwards, twist, turns and loops. The point is getting better every day, no matter where you're at in the journey.

Our behaviour matters. So very much. We have influence whether we realize it or not. What I do or don’t do affects others. It affects people I don’t even realize I’m connected to. What I do matters. I have influence. We all have influence. If we behave as if what we do matters and effects others then we will behave different. You have influence, use it for good. 

Patience is a virtue. But being patient when there’s no process is a bad thing. You can be patient to the point it becomes apathetic. Patience is good when you’re following a process. It’s not so good when you’re in the middle of nowhere, going nowhere fast.

Getting better means doing harder things. We rarely get better by staying still. Rest and mindfulness is necessary, but getting better needs action. 

Levelling up in life looks a lot like doing hard things. It looks a lot like going through challenges. It looks like figuring out a lot of problems. It looks like experience. Levelling up takes work and costs, but its an important part of life and growing.

Anyone who thinks they can do it on their own is hugely mistaken. We all need people. We all need someone. Thinking we can do it all on our own is a sure way to fail. Recognize the need for others and don't hesitate to reach out to good people and build bridges. Make connections. Learn from people. Help others, because we need each other. 

The more you truly learn, the more you realize you don’t know much. If someone feels they know a lot, chances we they don’t. But if someone is humble they quite likely are quite knowledgeable. 

It's important to celebrate the wins. Any win is big and we need to teach those following us that wins should be celebrated. Celebrate good and it will be what grows. 

If you want to find offences, you will. We can find offence in almost everything and there’s many people who do. It’s one of the worst ways to live. Constantly being offended is like self inflicted harm. Choosing to not find or live in an offended state is the right way to live. You will find peace that way and living in peace is priceless. 

The quickest and maybe best way to become better is to surround yourself by people who are better. 

Routine will become a prison if you never add some variety. Routines are good and even important. But they need some variety from time to time. 

Hard things produce the most rewarding results. Easy things usually don’t. The bigger the task, the bigger the reward. 

There comes a time for everyone where we need somebody. We can’t do everything always on our own. We need people. That’s why it’s best to build as many connections as possible. It’s a safety net but also a strengthening to make us better. 

Try and work smarter, not harder. Harder won’t always produce more results. But smarter usually will. 

Love is the most powerful force on earth. But love has to be used with truth or else it's not effective. Love is kind and you can be kind and truthful. Being truthful doesn't mean being ugly. Being truthful means being kind to people but doing it with truth.

My net worth is proportional to my network. Building connections makes us all better. Isolation makes us all worse. So build as many good connections as possible. 

Life has to be lived to learn. A lot of things you learn by experiencing them. And there’s no shortcut. You have to live it to learn it. 

Some of the best things you can invest in is the future. Specifically in young people. There are far too few good role models today. Young people need good role models. So you can invest in the future by investing in young people today!

You have to catch opportunity when it presents itself. You never know if it will show again. Opportunity can rarely be captured after it passes. So grasp it as it comes to you. 

It's better to err on the side of mercy instead of judgement. It's so easy and natural to judge someone but if we can teach ourselves to err on the side of mercy we will be much better and kinder.

Unsaid things can get us in trouble. But it takes wisdom to know what shouldn’t be said and what should be said. We can’t hold it all in when it’s meant to be let out. But some things don’t need to be said. So wisdom helps us know what to say and how to say it. And holding those things in doesn’t help anything. 

Love looks different all the time. But love is always guided by doing what you can to help someone. Sometimes love looks like sending a text. Sometimes it looks like helping someone move. Other times it may look like correcting something you see as problematic. But whatever the action is, if it’s love, it’s never self-serving. 

Some people are like a vacuum cleaner. They seem to exist to find and intake all the dirt they can. They thrive on gossip and finding out peoples mistakes and failures. But others are like gold panners, they sift out all the dirt and try to find the gold. Finding dirt is easy and is about the easiest lowest form of social interaction. But finding gold takes someone who doesn't want to live in the base human form. Finding the gold takes a higher level of awareness and understanding of how the world and people work. Pan for gold, leave the vacuuming to people who want to be filled with dirt.

There is nothing worth losing your peace over. Protect your peace, at all costs. If you have peace, you have something of extreme, high value. Guard it, watch over it and don't let anyone ever take it.

Nobody has gotten to anywhere good without doing the hard work. You have to be willing to do the tough, hard work to get somewhere. It takes the hard effort to get above the average. 

Sometimes you have to pursue peace. It won’t naturally come so you have to intentionally persue it. 

There's no thriving when you're just surviving. At some point you have to move from survival to thriving. Survival mode can only last so long. Survival mode isn't sustainable indefinitely. Move from surviving to thriving.

The more honest you are, the more powerful you are to overcome your personal weaknesses. It requires radical honesty. The type of honesty that we call ourselves out when we even begin to see ourself walk a destructive path. Radical honesty may often require accountability too. But radical honesty is the way to overcome weaknesses.

You’re gonna find out what you’re made of. In some way, shape or form life is gonna expose what you’re made of. Your foundation will be exposed, if it’s a good foundation you’ll be able to recover quickly. If your foundation isn’t solid you’ll have to rebuild at the foundational level. But know it will happen, get that foundation solid. Build your character, be truly strong (meek, humble, gentle, honest) and be connected to good, healthy people. With these ingredients you’ll survive and not only survive, be better after the storm. 

Don’t waste your pain. Pain always comes with something to gain from it. Make sure your pain leads to gains. This means processing the pain and learning from it. It means introspection. It means communication. It likely means action in applying what you’ve learned from the pain. 

That’s the magic formula to a balanced life. When one of those things are forgotten it throws things off and when we lose our balance we are prone to fall. 

Responsibility is a trait that is becoming less prevalent. So many want to shirk responsibility. On the job, or for problems, or for their behaviour, people don’t want to take responsibility. Owning what we’re responsible for is the path to freedom though. If we don’t own what we’re responsible for, we can never make it better or fix it. So take responsibility for what’s yours. 

If you’ve been given something, use it. Our talents, skill, knowledge and giftings have been given to us to be used. Holding them in ruins the gifts. So use them and the gifts will multiply.  

It’s amazing that our words can bring things into existence. So what we tell people matters. We can speak things to people that makes them better or makes them worse. Sometimes somebody just needs to hear that they can do it and everything will be fine. You can make that difference in someone’s life. So speak like. 

A good thing to remember is your present circumstance, whether good or bad, will pass. So make the most of the moment because another season is coming. It’s easy to get caught up in a moment or season and assume it’s always going to be like the present. But it won’t be. Things will change. 

Either things are happening to us OR for us. And we can decide which it is.  We can take the position of everything is happening to us, and the conclusion is we don't deserve it and life isn't fair. Or we can take the position that everything is happening for us. The conclusion we draw from this position is much different than the first conclusion. We can draw the conclusion here that everything is happening for us to make us a better, stronger person.

Presenting a problem is relatively easy. Most people can see a problem. But what does take a special skill is to present problems with solutions. Identifying a problem is important of course. But without a solution there's little benefit in identifying it. Solutions are next level. So learn to be a solution finder, not a problem finder.

As a kid we played and playing was a primary form of learning. As adults we forget to play but it’s an essential form of life. Play looks different as an adult but it’s just as necessary. No play makes adults dull. 

We lie to ourselves far more than we ever lie to others. We have to get very honest with ourselves in order to live an honest life and be honest with others. Audit all your thoughts, don’t just accept them. Audit them and ensure they’re accurate and honest. That’s a good place to start. 

We get to choose what we’re holding. Many never realize it though. Many go through life holding onto things that were never meant for them or were meant to be let go of. Holding onto stuff weighs us down and makes simple things difficult. So let go of things that you can’t change or things that just aren’t yours. You’ll be lighter and be able to live better. 

Togetherness is the way to do things. There’s moments to be alone, but most of the time most things should be done together.  

Being honest doesn’t mean being rude or mean to people. Being honest can be done in love and kindness too. Honesty without love probably won’t even be accepted. 

If you didn't learn, was it even worth it? Every experience is a chance to learn, but we have to be conscious and curious to learn. If we're not paying attention we don't learn anything new and there's little point to the experiences we go through.

Most of us think we need to do more. But maybe we all need to do less. Then we can do what we need to, better. 

Complaints are rarely worth the energy they take. It's difficult for people to truly care about our complaints. The reason is, we all have our complaints and so we don't usually have the capacity to care about others complaints. So instead of spending energy on complaints, try just doing something about it. And if you can't do anything about it, complaining won't help either.