My Riffs

Happy New Year! Let’s not wait for 2021 to get better, let’s make it happen!

If you love someone, tell them now. If someone did a good job, tell them now. If you appreciate someone, let them know! These little things can make someones day.

Most things are a trade off. We trade our time for money. We trade problems for problems. We trade goods for money. We trade money for other money. We trade time for growth. You have to give something to get something. Nothing is free. We have to balance all these trades to make sure we don't end up with a deficit. I'm not talking about financially or that we get from others as much as we give. I'm talking about making sure we're balancing things so we don't give too much in one area and end up with a deficit. We can give too much time and not have enough to learn and grow. We can give too much financially and not have enough to meet our needs. Realizing everything is a trade should help balance what we're trading and receiving for the trade.

Your environment effects you. I was in a mall and the loud busy environment effected me. There was little I could do to effect the environment, but the environment effected me. Your environment is important in your health and life. Living in an unhealthy environment will make your life unhealthy. Change your environment to be what you need to sustain a healthy life. Your home should be your safe place and you can change it into a healthy, peaceful and safe space. You can't change every environment to be that, but you can change your primary environment to be so.

 Here’s some good things to practice at the end of 2020. - gratitude - contentment

The day after Christmas and where is my joy. It's not in gifts or just a single day. It's in the little moments of life that we can often overlook. The fresh snowfall today or the time spent playing with kids. Those are places to find joy. We don't have to look for a big celebratory day or gifts. It's in the little things and the joy they bring.

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas!

Getting ready for something often takes longer than the event. We can spend our lives getting ready for something and miss out on living.

Reflectors reflect light. They absorb darkness but reflect light. That can analogous for what we should look to be. We live in a world where there is a lot darkness, but we need to only reflect the light. Darkness is powerless against light. We don't need to be afraid of the darkness, but we do need to purposely reflect light. Let's be reflectors!

I recently heard it said fear is the result of believing a lie. That means fear is unwarranted. And in order to eliminate fear, we have to identify the underlying lie.

Today was winter solstice. The shortest day of the year. This means the days get longer and we get more sunlight after today.  Every day can be a solstice if needed. It’s only a decision away that tomorrow will be different or better. 

It's hard to use proper adjectives nowadays. We say everything is "awesome" or "amazing" or "unbelievable". Very often, the things we are describing are really awesome, amazing or unbelievable though. How do you communicate something that is actually unbelievable today?  It's challenging. Maybe you drop the adjectives and become a compelling storyteller by explaining the purpose, magnitude or vision for something.

Is this worth my energy? Or is this worth my finite resources (time, money, energy)? This is a question worth asking ones’ self often. There are so many energy drains out there that aren’t worth it.  Life is too short to throw away your finite resources. Use them for things that appreciate. 

Life has a way of trying to make ones heart hard. Having a hard heart makes life bleak and hopeless. It takes the joy and life out of living. It's worth the work to keep your heart soft. Yeah, it may hurt sometimes, but it beats having a hard heart and losing out on the joy and beauty in life. You won't experience the joy and beauty in life with a hard heart.

Routines are super important. Humans need routines in order to function successfully. But we need to examine our routines occasionally to make sure they’re good ones. We become what we repeat daily. We can let bad routines slip in which will have negative long term effects. 

Is something is to be sustainable, it must be easily repeatable. It’s hard to sustain something that is difficult to repeat. 

I've noticed something about big people. (not big in physical size, big in character and heart) They draw big huge, maybe even uncomfortable circles. Small people draw lines that cut people out. Big people draw bigger circles that draw even the small people in.

Those who have control of information have the power. We’re seeing big tech hold more power than any other group.  They hold all the data and they control the flow of information.  It’s time to educate ourselves on privacy and alternate platforms. They only way these companies will be beat is if they lose their user base.  Research which search engine you should use, which email provider you should use and learn about the privacy settings on your mobile device. 

Just a reminder that everyone has something to teach us. We just need to be willing to listen and learn from them. 

I’m sure I’ve blogged this idea before. But it just keeps being at the forefront of my thinking that people are so opposed to each other. There’s sides for everything and you have to take a side it seems. And I don’t see people opposed to each other reaching the other side very often.  How do you reach those opposed to you? Simple really. By loving them. It seems facts, data, anecdotes and logic don’t sway those opposed to you. But love is greater than all those things. 

There comes a point in trying where the law of diminishing returns takes over. You can actually try too hard. People have been called a “try hard”. That’s not a compliment either.  Learning when to let off the gas pedal is an art to be discovered. 

When things get complicated, that's an indication to simplify what you can. When things get really simple, maybe you can add complexities to help things evolve. But don't add complexities to complexities. It's better to keep things simple than to add needless complexities.

The future is created by those who have a vision for it. It may not turn out 100% what the vision is, but it will be crafted by those with vision.  Everything we see started as an idea in someone’s head. The had vision and crafted it into reality.  We all have that power in our lives and our world. 

Sometimes you have to find the good. Sometimes you have to search harder than others. But you can always find good somewhere. 

This year has been a year of rash, arbitrary reactions. Mostly I'm referring to governments. There seems to be missing some sound logical and rational decision making. Fear has been the governing force over decision making. What would be different if we tested our responses and then validated the results? I'm sure our responses would be a lot more nuanced than they are. 

Where you derive validation from is where you will focus your energy and find your purpose.

Something I’ve had to learn about love is it’s accepting people where they are. It doesn’t mean I always feel good about where they are; but accepting it and loving and caring for them is true love.

Your best defence is your actions. Not your words. Let your actions speak for you. 

If you could dream, what would the best day ever look like for you? The best day ever could only be the best day ever if it involved family and friends. The best day ever couldn't be a day with material gains or even solo experiences. The best day ever is only the best because it's shared with those who matter the most. The greatest experience wouldn't be as sweet without sharing it with others. I'm sure it's quite a feeling to climb Mount Everest, but I'm also sure it's even a better feeling doing it with a friend. We can make every day the best day ever when we're sharing it with the ones we love.

I took a two week break from the news and guess what? I didn't miss it and nothing changed in those two weeks. Makes me re-evaluate how much value there is in staying caught up on current affairs. I think there's value in knowing what's going on. But news can become entertainment and a time waster just like social media. I will be setting limits to my news consumption going forward. It doesn't take long until you get diminishing returns on news consumption.

Why does bad news spread faster than good news? Why do we seem to get more enjoyment out of spreading bad rather than good news?  If each of us started only spreading good news and holding back the bad news, we would make our spheres of influence better. And those in that sphere would make their spheres better. Filter the bad out, spread the good. We don't need any more bad news in 2020, there's a shortage of good news and good news is more valuable.

GIGO - garbage in, garbage out. If you're following things that are putting garbage in your head, unfollow. If you're subscribed to things that are putting garbage in your head, unsubscribe. Life it too short to accept garbage or toxicity.  When you take in garbage and toxicity, soon you will be outputting garbage and toxicity. Only take things in that you want to output.

Getting out of balance often precedes breaking. If it’s out of balance it needs to be corrected before it breaks.

Trees can go through a process called grafting. In short, the graft is done to make the tree better. It can be assumed that the graft wouldn’t feel good, but it will end up making the tree a better tree.  In life we have things grafted into our life that are unpleasant and unwanted. But these things can ultimately make us better if we take ownership of them and grow from them into something better. 

"Scars come with living"  - Toby Mac There doesn't need to be shame associated with scars, they come with living. They can be beautiful. They can show that you've survived. They can show that you went through a battle being a victor. Scars come with living and we don't have to be ashamed of living.

People who never comes against adversity will become weak. Adversity makes trees strong. Adversity makes metal strong. Adversity similarly makes people strong. We don't need to go looking for adversity, it will come to us. And it's not something we should run from. 

What you’re anchored to will either save or wreck you. And if you have nothing to anchor to, you will at some point wreck.  Identity what you are anchored to and make sure it’s something that will save you.  Money, material and entertainment are things that will fail you when anchored to them. 

Many things come with a good side and bad side. What do I mean by that? You may have a dream job, but it's gonna have some things that you dislike or things that make it difficult. Good things come from difficulty. Wisdom comes from pain. Strength comes from pain.  "Bad" things are part and parcel of good things. Going through the "bad" is necessary to get to the good.

"Pursue what is meaningful, not what is expedient ". Rule #7 from 12 Rules for Life by Jordan B Peterson.

Covid has changed the world but we still don’t know the full extent of how it will change. But opportunities will present themselves as change occurs. What opportunities will open up as commerce and business change? What opportunities will present themselves as communication and relationships change?

From the book of Proverbs: "Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble."  How much less trouble would be caused if this was learned? How many less instances of trouble would I have been in had I heeded this advice? Hopefully we get better with this as we age and mature, but the tongue is truly the most unruly part of humans and the most difficult to tame. If you can tame your tongue you can tame yourself.

People are more similar than they are different. We're all unique and special bound together by similarities. Even those who are a challenge to relate to are more similar than different to us.

It's unlikely somebody can be helped until they first feel understood. People don't generally accept they're wrong until they feel like they have at least been understood.

Everyone needs different amounts of sleep, but the fact is we all need good sleep. Most people need 8 hours of sleep give or take, but some people can get by on less. But they still need good sleep. If you're not sleeping good, you're not going to be living good during the day. There are plenty of good tips a quick Duck Duck Go search will help you discover. Getting good sleep is a must, figure out how to get it :) 

An interesting thought exercise is to think about how I would describe myself to someone I just met.  Now think about if I could try and describe myself from the perspective of someone who knew me well to someone I just met.   How close would those two descriptions like up? There’s probably a lot to learn in that answer.

Emotions are important but they shouldn’t be a driver for us. We should be aware of them but they shouldn’t be our driver. Because for many of us that will be a fairly unstable ride :)

Some people delight themselves in finding the gouge in someone else's armour. I've had to confront that tendency in myself. And it's a horrible way to live and experience life. There's little skill in pointing out a gouge. There's much skill in pointing out a fix for the gouge. There's also much skill in pointing out untapped talents.  If you find a gouge, try and find all the areas where their armour is strong. There may be a gouge because they've been through battles.

So many people live below what they could be. Simply because they don’t even try to make the best of their situation. They let life dictate to them their happiness. Rather they should dictate to life their happiness.  It’s one of the great secrets to life, that you can take control of it.  There is a video of Steve Jobs talking about this that inspired this post :)

Shortcuts don't lead to success. Doing hard things and doing hard work leads to success. Beware of any proposed shortcut to a big goal. 

2020 has brought us many interesting things. One though is the conflict of experts. The experts don't seem to be able to agree on anything, science, medicine, politics. They haven't been able to predict anything with consensus or accuracy. This conflict has led to some credibility and trust erosion in the experts. This year has brought many things to light, and this is something else that has brought to light. Many experts are simply just doing their best, but don't know everything. Information overload has also contributed to this. Filtering data and information has become one of the most critical skills for people to learn.

The quality of your life will never exceed the quality of your thought life. 

In our household, it's already full on Christmas. Christmas is the best way to close out this year of 2020. With gratefulness and generosity. It's been a tough year on the whole world but we should still close it out with gratitude. Hopefully this year is less about merchandise and more about people and gratitude.

The story of the ship the Endurance is one of the most incredible stories of endurance and tenacity. It’s something that humans can endure the amount of hardship and difficulty that those men did. Endurance is an incredible skill and should be worked on. 

Did you know just going for a walk can really improve your health? I was reading about 8 ways walking changes your brain for the better. It lowers your risk of developing depression. It improves your overall cognitive functioning. Walking releases endorphins. It releases the protein BDNF. It helps with mental and physical fatigue. It strengthens your Hippocampus. It improves creativity. It increases blood flow to your brain. Link to article here:  https://www.bustle.com/p/8-ways-walking-changes-your-brain-for-the-better-according-to-science-10077769

I measure the strength of a spirit by how much truth it can take. Nietzsche

The company Apple isn't always the first to market, but often they're the best. Trying to be first is less important than doing your best. 

There’s no perfect system. There’s always weak spots or loopholes. Yes, trust the system to a degree, but also be critical of the system at the same time.  The current election mayhem in the US was the cause of this thought. 

When people lose hope they lose their life. Hope is an important part of life. Always keep hope, never let it go. It's an important ingredient to life.

The US Presidential election campaign had me thinking. What's the best way to fight your opponent. I'm not convinced putting them down is the best way. I submit that if someone would instead paint a better picture than their opponent, that would be far more powerful. Point to something better rather than trying to tear down your opponent.

Not every moment is equal. Tomorrow is a big day in the United States, and because of the power of the US, it's a big day for the whole world. Enjoy every moment and take in the big moments.

Tonight was a beautiful sunset. I don't know what you could have paid to create something that beautiful. What if we're looking at beauty and happiness wrong? Maybe we're guilty of treating those things like a commodity rather than something priceless.

Truth is like a mirror. Truth can be a sword too. Truth can also be love. But in helping ourselves, truth is a mirror. Winston Churchill said "People occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing even happened".  When confronted with truth as a mirror, we are forced to see ourselves as we actually are, not what we think we are. This truth can cause us to hurry off and ignore what we've seen or it can cause us to look ourselves straight in the mirror and level up.

In doing lots of running I've learned pace is important. If you start too fast you may not be able to complete, or you will slow down to a crawl. But if it's a short run, you can start fast and keep up the pace. On a long run, you need to slow down and maintain a more constant pace. Pace yourself in life too. Don't go too fast or too slow. Find the pace that works for you and will allow you to endure to the end.

We need something to focus on. We need a destination, or maybe we could call it a goal. Without a purpose, people get lost. One thing that's necessary to learn though is to learn to enjoy the journey. It's gonna take twists and turns, ups and downs, and you have to learn to enjoy it. Because the journey is always full of surprises, both good and bad, you have to learn to enjoy the ride.

Isolation has become quite a common word this year. Isolation is a terrible thing. I read a quote today that said  "We discover who we are, not in isolation, but in connection. Isolation leads to self-deception". It's no wonder the world is seeing so much craziness this year. We have deeply messed with the social order that civilization has existed upon. Social distancing and isolation are causing a ruckus. Don't allow yourself to be isolated. Find some good, honest friends and connect with them as much as possible.

One letter difference but two drastically different outcomes. 2020 has been full of difficulties for so many people. Will the circumstances make us bitter or better? We do have a choice in the matter.

The best teachers are still students. They’re constantly updating themselves and learning. In order to teach you have to be a good student. And it’s best to remain a student even when you’re a teacher. 

Force is something that should be used sparingly. If you have to resort to force some thing(s) have gone wrong previously in the process.

This quote I read today was a good reminder of living intentional.  “No carelessness in your actions. No confusion in your words. No imprecision in your thoughts”  - Marcus Aurelius

Be that person who is quick to give a kind word. I can think of times in my life when someone told me "you're gonna be a success" or "you got what it takes" and it actually made a difference. What if there's someone in your life that needs to hear those words?

The beauty of art is that there's no formula to it. It is somewhat subjective. Not everyone appreciates art of course, but that just means art is subjective. An abstract painting can mean something to someone and nothing to someone else. And that's the beauty of art, not everyone will appreciate a musical piece, but those who do will appreciate it a lot. 

There is great utility in making the complex simple. Arguably, this is one reason Apple has been a successful company. It's an extraordinary skill to distill complexities into simpler forms. It's like a combination of the following skills: - Analytical - Communication - Logic - Pattern recognition

Instincts tell us to look out for number one. And we need to. It’s a life sustaining instinct. So putting others before us doesn’t generally come natural. It takes work and practice to do so.  When we learn to put others first, we learn a great secret in a fulfilling life. 

Dreams can come true. There's two keys in making that happen. 1. Your heart will eventually get what it wants. So your heart needs to be set on it. 2. Work. Dreams take lots of work to achieve. If you're not willing to put in the work, you likely won't achieve your dream.

We don't go looking for things to get bad for us. But inevitably we go through tough things. Tough things that we may even label as bad. But there's so much strength to gain when things get "bad". There's so many lessons to learn when things get "bad". As former SEAL, Jocko says, "when things get bad... GOOD!" Good because it's an opportunity.

This will tell you a lot about yourself. Ask yourself and honestly answer, what feels better, to receive something or to give something? Work towards being a giver, not a receiver. The truest blessing is in giving not receiving.

I realized why people hate the President or Prime Minister so much. It's because they want to blame that person for all the problems they either have or see. Rather than taking responsibility for their problems or thee problems they see, it's easier to blame someone else. And no better person than the one at the top.

I heard it said that the price of wisdom is pain. I think that's quite true. Wisdom never comes cheap or easy. It usually comes through some tough life experiences. And some people don't come out of those life experiences with wisdom. They come out with bitterness, resentment or sometimes just end up defeated. But there is wisdom to gain in these situations. So in pain or difficult circumstances, fleece all the wisdom you can from it.

The best way to do something it out of joy. Doing it out of duty can’t compare. 

Life is... what you make it. Both bad and good things happen to both bad and good people. But life is still what you make it. 

Ignoring problems never helps deal with the problem. We don't need to seek out every problem and deal with it. But for problems that we're connected to, ignoring them won't help. Problems tend to grow until dealt with. You'll never be problem free, but it's best to deal with problems as quickly as possible. Ignoring problems is one way to feed them.

There's a song that has a lyric that says "I've been down so long, being down don't bother me". Life has highs and lows. But you can't live in the lows too long. You have to figure out how to get out of that low. Lows become ruts fast. You can't stay down long, because it just get harder to get out of the low. Make sure being down bothers you a whole lot. Being down should never be accepted. Fight being down and get up!

Negativity is possibly the lowest common denominator for humans. It's not a good place to live. It's not a good place to connect with others. If you're connecting based on negativity that's a low denominator (or something to share in common). Raise the bar and connect on as high of a level as possible.

Nightmares can be scary. But they're often not based in reality.  Daydreams can be more scary because they're based in reality. I'm talking about allowing your self to dream big. They can be more frightening. Many people don't day dream big, because it's too frightening.

Compelling is the strongest form of motivation. You can push people to motivate them, but when you can find a way to compel them, that’s the best method. 

A kind word can go a long way. If you wanna help someone, try a sincere, kind word. 

There is such thing as healthy conflict. It's just a tough thing to keep it healthy. It takes two mature parties to keep conflict healthy. This goes for politics, groups, relationships and couples. Once conflict becomes unhealthy it's best to disengage until it can be healthy again. Healthy conflict can be a very productive tool.

If you want it to grow, give it energy.  This works two ways though. If you give the wrong things energy, they sure enough will grow. Don't put energy into the wrong things and put all your energy into the right things. 

You can find lots of firsts in life. Today was the first of the month of October. A perfectly good to start something new or possibly stop something not worthwhile. There’s plenty of opportunities for starts, to start over again in life.  Here’s a good way to start again... say sorry. That’s a good way to start over.  Here’s another way to start again. Get up the next day and adjust what went wrong or what you didn’t like about today.  Here’s another faster way, start the next breath you take. Don’t even wait for the calendar to turn or the sun to rise the next day. Just start with your next breath. 

More doesn’t equal better. Many times we think more is good and more is better than less. But that’s not always the case.  If you jam pack something, there’s no room left. No room left for something better. No room left for change or margin of error.  So often, less is more.  Less removes complexity. Less pairs down to what’s necessary and valuable. 

It's only impossible until someone does it. It takes a determined courageous person to defy impossibilities. They can see a way when nobody else can. Such people have invented things like airplanes, light bulbs, phones. They have broken records of running, speed and endurance. Don't let impossibilities deter you from achieving great things.

If you can be faithful over a few things you will be made ruler over many.

There's four seasons in the year as far as weather goes. You have to recognize the season or else you work will be futile. You don't plant during harvest season. You don't reap during planting season. You can't work against the season. Your work will be futile. In life, there's plenty of different seasons. You need to recognize when season your in, or those in your care are in. Doing something in the wrong season may make a good intentioned action not work at all. Just  like the sower who sowed just before winter. Recognize what season you're in and take the appropriate action for that season. The author of the bible book of Ecclesiastes said (paraphrased): there's a time to plant and a time to reap, a time to break down and a time to build up, a time to gather a time to cast away, a time to rend and a time to sew...  Recognize the season. 

Quick decisions are good for low impact situations. But slow decisions are best for high impact situations.  Being slow probably pays more often than being fast. But there’s times to be both. 

One sure thing is that things will change. You can always be certain that things will change. How do you handle change? We seem wired to not love change, but it's part of life. Those better at adapting with change have a less tumultuous life. Those who can learn to take advantage of change are successful.

Back in time things changed slow. Long before you and I were born. If your parents farmed, than you farmed and usually lived the same life as your parents. Little changed generation to generation. Farming equipment was the same generation to generation. There wasn't such thing as new technology as we know it today. It looks hundreds and sometimes thousands of years for major advances in civilization. Fast forward to today. We’re in an age of rapid change. The life I grew up like 30 years ago is vastly different from the life my kids are growing up in. I venture my grandchildren will yet again grow up in a vastly different world.  Change is accelerating, thanks to technology. It's hard to stay on top of the latest. What are some lessons to learn in this? Here's a few. - Try to be understanding of people younger than you. They live in a different world from the one you grew up in. - You don't have to jump on every single new thing that comes along. - Learn to value qualit...

It’s one of the most valuable skills to work on. When we work on self, we make the world a better place. People without self control are dangerous to themselves and people in contact with them.

Sometimes the people who succeed are the ones who simply show up. By this I mean, the person who learns how to be faithful has a huge advantage over one who doesn’t. 

I struggled writing a blog tonight. Ideas come in bunches and sometimes they don’t come at all. I’m learning to write down my ideas as they come so they aren’t lost. Had I written down more ideas though, I wouldn’t have struggled tonight. Reminder to self: do better at writing down ideas when they decide to come. 

The greatest hang up is usually the same for everyone, that being, the past. We get so hung up by what has already happened that we are slowed to a standstill. Letting go of the past is one of the most rewarding things you can give yourself. It's just much harder to do than just say. Letting go of the past opens up the future though. You have to let go in order to move forward.  (this is referring to letting go of the bad, you want to always hold dear to the good)

My son is 10 months old and he’s teaching me some things that I’ve maybe forgotten as an adult.  - Get over things fast. He can be upset in one moment and immediately gets over it when Momma holds him or he forgets what’s bothered him. I don’t get over things so quickly and easily.  - Keep exploring and pay attention. An airplane catches his attention. A ceiling fan mesmerizes him. He’s curious about what every little sound and action is. And he’s learning super fast because of it. I tune out so much and don’t pay attention to all that’s going on. I wonder what lessons I’m missing by not paying attention? - He’s very grateful. He gets excited when he tried something new. He’s smiles widely at strangers. He laughs so purely. He sleeps peacefully. He isn’t ashamed to make happy sounds anytime or anywhere. He relies on other people with no pride. He trusts others. What great qualities for me to keep working on!

Not every day is equal, but every day you can put in an equal effort. 

Your biggest problem is exactly that, the biggest problem you are facing. And in that we forget there are people facing bigger problems than we are.  That doesn’t diminish our problem, but it does provide perspective. 

If I didn’t learn anything today I wasn’t looking hard enough. Or listening hard enough.  If I’m not learning I’m not growing. I don’t want to waste a day without growing.  Paying attention is the way to grow. 

My hero's aren't people you would read about in the news. They won't likely be mentioned in history books. They aren't even well knows. But they're people who have good character, who are faithful and positive. They're people who have endured and shows strength when it was hard to be strong. They're full of love and kindness. They're people to look up to because they make the world a better place and are true examples of what to be.

The heart is the steering wheel of a human being. What the heart wants, it will eventually get. That's good reason to constantly check yourself and make sure what's in your heart is good. Because it's eventually going to manifest itself. You can't hide what's in your heart forever. Best to uproot anything bad the moment you notice it.

Often the hardest person to see clearly is ourselves. It's easy to see other people and see faults. But are we so good at seeing our faults? It's not so easy to spot our faults because we've grown into them maybe. If you see a fault in someone else, it's a good opportunity to check yourself honestly for that fault in yourself. Spouses, parents and close friends are also good sources for honest feedback to help you see the hardest to see person, yourself.

You can reduce people into two categories but here goes :) There’s solutionists and problemists.  Solutionists find a solution to every problem. Problemists find a problem for every solution.