My Riffs

It's been a year of ups and downs, good and bad. Just like every preceding year and every coming year. Learning to ride the waves of life has been a huge part of 2016 for me and this blog has been part of that effort. I'm learning that I am in control, regardless of what life throws at me. So, I'm wishing everyone a great 2017, regardless of what's coming down the road. Choose kindness, choose happiness and let's have a great 2017! God bless!

The amount of joy you have isn't parallel to the amount of stuff you receive Many poor people have joy and many rich people are sad. Money and possessions are not precursors to joy. A decision is the precursor to joy. Decide to find the good and be happy. You will always be surrounded by things that could steal your joy. Finding joy in giving and people. Find joy from within but for things outside you. Joy is found in giving and others. Not in receiving and self.

An observational post... Regardless of place or situation: Unhappy people are going to be unhappy. Negative people are going to be negative. Complainers will complain. Joyful people will be happy. Positive people will be positive. I've learned that geography or situations actually have little to do with joy, happiness and positivity. Certainly they have bearing on ones well being and moods, but for any length of time, they have little bearing. The good news about "you are who you are" is "you can be who you want to be". You don't have to be negative, unhappy, angry, complainer...

So and so is a _______. This person always ________. This situation is because of _________. They're _________. You may be wrong about what you think, assume or even "know". We make judgments and apply labels with precious little information and background. This goes hand in hand with the post about shoes that don't fit . What if we stripped our labels from people? What if that person isn't _________. Maybe we can understand why they behave in the way they do. There is a reason for how they act, or for the reason you've applied that label. And the reason is likely different than what you think. People generally act the same in given situations. We just like to think things like "I would never do that" or "I wouldn't handle it like them". But the thing is we don't know. And furthermore we likely would handle things similar to them, we're all humans. Let's cut each other some slack. In fact let's get behi...

There are times our minds are capable of some crazy things. Crazy dreams. Crazy imaginations. Crazy actions. Have you ever asked yourself, "why did I say that?" or "why did I do that?". People allow their brain to override good common sense so often. Cigarettes is a great example.  It's not even debatable that smoking is bad for you, but somehow a lot of people override their minds and smoke. There's countless other examples of us overriding our good common sense. The danger is overriding good, honest thinking. We often won't allow our brains to explore things beyond our comfort zone. Doing so hinders our empathy. It hinders our base of knowledge and understand. Don't override your mind when it comes to fully understanding something. Of course, the caveat is to not be a unfiltered open mind that just wildly accepts anything. That's not the point of this at all. The point is to allow yourself to consider all angles of an issue or top...

In the Christmas moment(s), its innately easier to be friendly and charitable. We would have to think charitable giving goes up around the holiday season. That's in the moment. The challenge is carrying that "goodwill" forward outside the moment. It's somewhat easy and natural in season and more difficult outside the season. I'm challenging myself to carry goodwill forward from Christmas throughout the the following year. Part time charity is a good start, but full time charity is the goal.

A few days per year it's necessary to press pause and clear the agenda. Some pause days are dictated by the calendar and some pause days we need to fit into our calendar. Today is a calendar dictated pause, thankfully. The pause is so necessary though. Merry Christmas to everyone!

Here we are, Christmas Eve 2016. Christmas in 2016 looks a lot different than it did when it started, and that's okay. But something happens the older something becomes. It is harder for the original meaning or purpose to carry through true and unaltered. The older something becomes the higher the chance the meaning or purpose behind it is no longer the same. So the challenge is to go back and find the original meaning or meaning or purpose. If the meaning or purpose has altered, the second challenge is to refocus and remain true to the original meaning or purpose.

I have previously written that we should listen to our critics. Our critics probably have some important insights, if we're willing to listen. Here's a link to one of the posts . However, if you're the one doling out criticism, be advised, it almost never works. Criticism is the worst way to try and change or help somebody or something. It usually has the opposite affect. For today, here is the text of an incredible poem called "Father Forgets". (Audio of this is below the text) FATHER FORGETS W. Livingston Larned condensed as in "Readers Digest" Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside. There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I s...

Thomas car caught on fire. Luckily it ended up being not as bad as it looked. His car is still in working condition.

All emotions are given for a reason. Even the less desirable ones like fear, sadness and anger. There are good reason for these less desirable emotions, they just need to be managed a lot closer than emotions of joy and other positive ones. Bad emotions tend to move fast and override more sensible emotions. Fear is an interesting feeling or emotion. It's a very finicky emotion. In some cases it is a great protector. It protects us from potential physical harm. We feel fear and may walk around a dark, wooded field at night. That's a great thing. But fear is finicky. It can be a good preventative emotion, but is a terrible motivator. Doing something out of fear is rarely a good thing. Doing something out of fear usually means the following: 1. You don't understand the "something". 2. You likely are making a bad decision when under the influence of fear. Fear causes us to make illogical and rash decisions. 3. The fear will inhibit you to perform to your...

Today is the shortest day of the year in the northern hemisphere. This day is known as the winter solstice.  It got me thinking about how much we can't control. I have no say in how much sunlight we get each day. No say in the weather, my ethic background, my features and gender, and so many of the things that happen to me. The person cutting me off in traffic I have no control over. The lights I have to obey while driving. The price of gasoline. The value of my currency. What other people do. But those things only change my decision making process, they do not render me unable to make decisions. Life is all about the response. With all this happening around us that is seemingly out of our control, we still are able to retain full control over our selves. It matters less what happens to us than how we respond. We know, scientifically, a good attitude affects our health. We know positive thinking affects our health. We know attitude is everything. So today on the short...

Today's post is super late. And I don't have a really good thought (not that any of the previous throughs were good :). Sometimes the most important thing is simply showing up. A lot of life can be mundane and kind of ordinary. So there are a lot of times where showing up is enough. Sometimes showing up is all you gotta do. And that's okay.

There's the drama and the noise and then there's the truth. Usually you have to strain the drama and noise out and see what the truth is after that. We usually listen to the drama and believe the noise, neglecting the truth of the issue.

I love you You're important to me Thank you You can do it I'm proud of you I was wrong I'm sorry What are some others that I may have missed?

Where someone finds their worth is where you will see them spend their resources. Time, talents and money. If we can find worth in important things, we can spend our resources on important things, like people. The anti-thesis of meaningful places to find worth would be in a celebrity. A celebrity finds worth most often in social life and having others praise them, all in a very shallow manner. This isn't to say all celebrities are bad or that they don't do anything good,  but they  seem to find worth in a very fickle social system. Worth can be found within ones self or within a very close circle of people who matter to you. Wide acceptance and popularity is a bad place to find worth. It's hollow and fickle.

There is a frequent problem that occurs when a driver of a vehicle starts to lose control. They will often try and correct the direction of their vehicle with a swift and hard turn in the opposite direction, something known as over correcting. This causes the vehicle to lose further control. Often the right way to handle the situation is attempting to slow down or a much smaller adjustment. The lesson is to be very measured in response to perceived problems. It is easy to exasperate a current problem. If something is off course it is more susceptible to exasperation. Measure twice before responding to problems of any sort. The wrong response can easily make the problem worse. And in any time dealing with human problems (most, if not all problems are directly related to humans) remember that love is key.

Being silent is hardly a neutral position. Being silent can be interpreted as different things: 1. Fear. Fear of being misunderstood, fear of being criticized, fear of being labelled. 2. Acceptance. Silence can be interpreted as acceptance. 3. Guilt. This is similar to fear, but guilt alone can also render one silent. Being silent has it's place, no doubt. Timing is important, but being silent isn't a good thing when your voice is needed. Speak up, your voice and perspective is needed. Because when you don't say anything, you're saying something.

Life is a continual rotation of seasons. Some seasons have similarities, but all are unique. In each season, good and bad, it's easy to forget that another season is quickly approaching. When things are good, we don't prepare for the bad. When things are bad, we don't prepare for the good. There are at least two lessons to learn here: 1. Don't get so caught up in the present that you forget about your future. We can get so caught up by the present and depending on where you're at, it can make you feel hopeless or sometimes make you feel too comfortable. Of course live in the moment, but don't be blind to the fact that things will be changing for you. 2. Prepare for the future. In times of abundance save and store up for future famines. This applies to finances but much more. Save up for future heartaches and disappointments. Save up for tragedies. Prepare also for abundance so you can handle it when a season of abundance arrives. Never get too high...

We all want to score an "A" for effort. Unless the effort is spent on spinning ones' tires. It's unfortunate, not all efforts are equal in returns, even if equal effort is given. Being smart about our efforts is equally important as putting the effort out. If you put all your effort into spinning your tires, you will run out of fuel and inhibit your abilities in other efforts. But putting your efforts into some things can have positive momentum spinoff. Getting traction in one area can create traction on other areas. Put the effort out there and match it with wisdom. Blind effort speeds up the burnout process.

Nature for the most part is a seamless, well functioning system. Everything outside nature is a disaster. Meaning, once humans enter the equation, that nice seamless system is disrupted. Things stop fitting together. Systems break. We build things and have to figure out how they will integrate or be structured. We enter into relationships and have to figure out how to make it work. We create systems in things like politics that are inherently broken and were constantly trying to figure out how to make them work. Everything in the human realm doesn't seem to just seamlessly fit together. Being human means figuring out constantly how to make things work. How to integrate things. How to make things fit together that seemingly don't fit. How will you make this situation work or fit? How will you overcome this problem? It's what makes us human, we will figure out a way. It doesn't work out of the box, but we will find a way.

Let's not downplay struggle. If someone is struggling, they're trying. Struggle builds. If you're in the thick of it don't run from it. Struggle and get stronger. You'll come out wiser, better and more mature.

Growth doesn't occur in a smooth linear fashion. There are fits and starts, setbacks and accelerations. Just stay on the path and you'll end up where you need to go.

Congratulations! Today is your day. You're off to Great Places! You're off and away! You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go. You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care. About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there." With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street. And you may not find any you'll want to go down. In that case, of course, you'll head straight out of town. It's opener there in the wide open air. Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you. And then things start to happen, don't worry. Don't stew. Just go right along. You'll start happening too. OH! THE PLACES YOU'LL GO! You'll be ...

Once you embark on a journey to some place, or some thing, the journey will take an unexpected turn. There will be an unforeseen barriers or challenges. The landscape will shift and require you to adjust and possibly keep re-adjusting. During the journey you may feel lost and not know whether to head back to the beginning or to push forward, or maybe to end the journey. People will fail you. Tools will fail you. You will get lost during the journey. And it will be difficult to continue forward. But you have to remember why you started the journey and look forward. Why you started is the constant in the storm, it's the unwavering purpose. This goes for businesses, relationships, product developments, pursuits and journeys of all types. When you get lost, remember why you started and look forward and keeping looking forward until you see a flicker of daylight.

If something is good enough, the temptation and unspoken pressure is to leave it. When something gets good you get comfortable. And comfort kills, I wrote about that here . It takes a whole lot of honesty and courage to take something from good to great. Taking good and making it great means saying good isn't good enough. Being unsatisfied with good means you are taking an unpopular position and will be heavily criticized. Many people get upset when you say good isn't good enough. It pushes people from a place of comfort. It's uncomfortable to admit that your place of comfort will ultimately be your demise. Courage is pushing the needle forward towards greatness and not accepting good. There is time and place to accept good, but that is only when greatness is not attainable. And there are those situations. But when greatness is an option, here's to the ones not afraid to not accept just good. Just good will ultimately bring about decay and demise. The rel...

Time is finite and maybe our most precious resource. Respect others time more than your own.

Emotionally driven people make decisions based on if something feels right. Logical or cerebral people make decisions based on if something makes sense. Both approaches at times break down though as an exclusive method for determining decisions. Sometimes action is needed that defies logic. Some action is needed that defies emotion. A self aware individual knows the limits of both approaches and can measure which approach is best on a case by case basis

If you're in the middle a rough stretch, I have some important advice... Go through it. Don't try and get out of it. You're always better off having gone through a hardship or difficulty. Escaping it or taking the easy way out leaves you weaker, not stronger. Embrace the hard and difficult. Your future self will thank you.

It would be a good exercise to occasionally if not routinely try on shoes that are uncomfortable and don't fit. No, not physical shoes, but the metaphysical shoes of someone other than yourself. Try on the shoes of a homeless person. Try on the shoes of someone who you fundamentally disagree with. Try on the shoes of someone with a different religion, persuasion or belief system from yourself. Try on the shoes of a broken, hurting individual. Try on the shoes of someone with mental illness. Try on the shoes of someone with a terminal illness. Try on the shoes of someone who has lost something. Try on the shoes of your elders. Try on the shoes of the next generation. It's the oldest analogy out there possibly, but we shouldn't judge somebody until we've walked a mile in their shoes. At that point, I'm convinced all judgement would cease as we would understand, removing the ability to judge. Judgement shows lack of understanding. Wearing the uncomfor...

Because you will find a way.

The most challenging form of being kind is, being kind to those who cannot help us, or those who we don't tend to like.  Kindness is one of the most important human actions.  Kindness helps others become stronger. If you want to help someone, you're kind to them. Kindness and love go hand in hand. In being kind to others, we cannot forgot probably the most important starting point in kindness... that  is, being kind to ourselves.  If being kind to someone will help them grow, how can we expect to personally grow by thinking negative and harmful thoughts about ourselves. If you cannot have a kind view of yourself, you likely will be unable to have a kind view of other people. A person who dislikes themselves will most likely dislike other people and in turn be unkind to them. Kindness starts within ourselves, towards ourselves. If we want to grow and flourish, it takes love and kindness towards ourselves. This is obviously not about excusing our...

A broad horizon and perspective enables one to make educated, informed decisions and provides a solid base of thinking. Narrow horizons often lead to narrow and unreasonable perspectives. Open mindedness is a term that has gained a negative connotation. But true open mindedness means considering every side of a topic, and is a sign of strength, not weakness. Accepting a position without considering all angles is the true sign of weakness. Open mindedness means considering all angles, it surely doesn't mean accepting any and every position such as the term has come to mean. It's a position of strength to tackle something with an open mind. Broaden your horizons. It strengthens your foundation. Broaden your horizons in friendships, in thinking, in skill sets, in knowledge... But with the broad horizon, narrow your focus on what really matters. Narrow your focus on the highest value tasks. Ignore noise and pettiness. Using your broad horizons to accurately determine what's...

Written communications are easily misinterpreted. A speaker can speak but needs a willing listener. Language barriers. Assumptions. Misunderstandings. Mistakes or distortion in transmission. Personality conflicts. Lack of respect. Distractions. All these and more make communication a very difficult things to accomplish. There is burden on the communicator and the receiver of communication to make it an effective activity. Breakdowns can happen on either end or in between. Communicating clearly and effectively should be the top priority for anyone who wants healthy relationships, which are fundamental to success in any regard.

Many things will distract from todays mission. The unimportant things could weigh us down and cause us difficulty in accomplishing the important. Noise, alerts, news and tasks will all jump up and want our attention. The unimportant things can be ignored though, if we are to accomplish the important.

We seem to go about our lives in search of the next boost. Likes or shares on our social media posts... A song... A book... A compliment... These aren't bad things. The danger is in becoming reliant on externals to make us happy or give us a temporary boost. It's costly too. Costly on our energy and emotions. If one can learn to live in contentment and happiness with they already have, these external "boosts" will just be extras. No need to be reliant on them.

It's the pebbles in our shoes that distract and prevent us from accomplishing great things. It's not the boulders in our pathway. If we can learn to quickly remove the pebbles from our shoes and keep moving forward, that's how great things can be accomplished. It's hard to accomplish great things when we're distracted and focused on small, insignificant things or problems.

Everyone likes to be right. It hurts the ego when we're wrong about something. Admitting we're wrong is hard and most people struggle with this. Being right isn't the most important thing though. Being true is more important. There are opportunities to prove yourself "right". It's more important to show yourself "true" though. True to your values and beliefs. True to who you are. Proving your simply right about something cannot tell the story that being true can. The power of being true to yourself far surpasses what being right can do. Being right brings little peace and provides a temporary ego boost. Being true is a lifestyle and a provides greatest benefit both to yourself and to those around you. Constantly proving you're right makes little effect and change in your sphere of influence. Be true first. Then if it works out, be right.

Tthe most irritating people you know aren't your closest friends. Are they not your closest friends because they're irritating? Or are they irritating because they're not you're closest friend(s)? It's an interesting thing to consider that possibly those who we find irritating maybe would not be so irritating if we tried to get to know them.

Everyone is dealing with some form of brokenness or incompleteness. Humans are imperfect beings. How do you deal with your brokenness? It's not a weakness to admit we're broken, it's actually the first step in dealing with it.

It's the small things that capture my attention. It's the small things that want to occupy my mind. It's the small things that get under my skin. It's the small things that seem so big when I've forgot the big picture. When I step back and look at the big picture, the small things that consume me are almost insignificant. Vision, mission and purpose are the big picture items to focus on. Focusing on those things allows the small things to remain small. It's easy to forget purpose and vision if we allow ourselves to. Build for tomorrow rather than allowing the small things of today to distract from your purpose.

Words on their own are cheap. Words backed by action is where the value is. In fact, words should almost always lead to action.

Words are powerful. Words can hurt and words can build. But, words often fail us. Words cannot accurately describe feelings. Words have double meanings. Words can often be misinterpreted. In many cases words fail us. Language and communication are imperfect systems. Maybe actions can cover for failed words.

There's two ways to do something. A right way and a wrong way. Even if it's a good thing you're doing, there's still two ways to go about it. Doing it the wrong way undermines the objective of the action. If I bought someone a very thoughtful gift, took it to them and threw it at their face and said, "here ya go!", that would undermine the objective of the action. We need to be cognizant of the "how" we carry out an action, even when the intention is good. Slapping someone rarely initiates a lasting change. Loving someone is the better way to initiate lasting change.

Nothing you see today can continue to exist in its current form. You can't reinvent the wheel, but you sure can invent better materials to make the wheel. The roads you drive on will eventually be replaced, and likely with better materials. The clothes you have on will wear out and eventually be something to laugh at. The phone you are using is already being replaced by the manufacturer with a much better phone. Same goes for whatever device you're reading this with. The big companies we know today (Apple, Google, Oil & Gas Companies) will be gone or it they're to survive, look completely different down the road. The processes, procedures and personnel your company is using today won't work in the future. The point? Don't buy into the notion that what you have can't and shouldn't change. Because it will. It's already over. What you have is in varying degrees, on its way to extinction. Methods, rules and traditions can, and will, chang...

Without hope, people will die, in some form. One of the most important things you could ever do is provide someone with hope.

Most of the changes we want is changes to external things, and often things we have little to no control over. We rarely want to change ourselves. Because that's the hardest change to make. It is a lot easier to wish for people and situations to change. It is a whole lot harder looking inside and making substantial changes to adjust to people and situations. But these are the rewarding changes. Because they make us a better person. A changed situation or a changed person we know rarely makes us a better person. If only we could accept that often the changes that need to be made are ones we need to make within ourselves. Such a difficult lesson to learn and re-learn and keep re-learning.

Here I am again writing about Millennials. My previous posts about Millennials have proven to be the most popular of any posts on this blog. Since I have written the posts, (and of course before writing them) I have read a lot of negativity towards Millennials. It's been said, do not criticize something you don't understand. When we criticize something we don't understand, we are only indicting ourselves. It is the duty of old generations to try and understand the Millennial generation. Not to criticize them, but to actually engage them to a point of understanding. This is easily accomplish by real listening. Not "hearing them out". I believe just like every prior generation, if we examine the Millennial generation we will find good and bad. The difference I see in the Millennial generation is two fold. 1. The new digital world. They have grown up in a completely digital world are are very different than any prior generation. So comparisons are fine, but i...

At some point it will plateau. Everything started eventually stagnates and sees diminishing returns. Too often the plateau becomes a treadmill and a seemingly infinite loop is created at that plateau. It doesn't have to be this way though. There are options at the plateau. Here are some ideas on how to get off the treadmill and make some tangible progress. 1. Deep breath. Take a deep breath, step back and analyze. Look at other people who are doing what you're doing. Analyze what they're doing right and what wouldn't work for you. Borrow some of their methods and implement for yourself. 2. Change the inputs. What you're putting into it has to change. You can alter the inputs or completely change them, depending on the desired output change. 3. Reboot. Sometimes a refresh that is deeper than an input change is needed. Reboot the program or methods used. This means changing up the processes and procedures, trying some different approaches. 4. Reshuffle. Bri...

Don't criticize yourself for what you think. Criticize yourself for what thoughts you entertain. The thoughts you entertain are the single most important thing in determining how your life will go. This quote is quite poignant:   It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. -Aristotle We all have bad, negative and destructive thoughts. You don't have full control of thoughts that run through your head. You do however have full control of thoughts that you feed and let take root. And the thoughts you let take root will become behaviours and eventually your character.  A mentally strong person has learned to properly sort and handle their thoughts More often than not. The great news is, this is a skill within every human beings ability. It's a constant battle, but it's doable. Our brains seem predisposed to thinking and seeing the negative. Unless I am the only one like this :) The other part of the good news ...

Or you can assemble a team of strong, qualified people who in synergy can accomplish things greater than the sum of their parts. The Lone Ranger can only accomplish so much. He is limited by his time and resources. But scaling becomes possible as his team expands. Create a team of qualified or skilled individuals and empower them to utilize their skills with minimal supervision. A well articulated vision unifies the team.

Accomplishment can't be measured by financial or material terms. Those metrics will expose things other than true accomplishment. Accomplishment can accurately be measured by the lives one has touched or affected and the quality in which they have been touched or affected.

Cutting through the noise is becoming increasingly difficult in this digital and connected age. It's one of the biggest drawbacks of the information age we live in. It is easy to mistake noise for substance. The most insignificant things go "viral" and capture our attention.  That is fine, but it becomes difficult to ignore noise and find substance. Progress is usually in the quiet. Not the loud.

But in reality, there will be problems that the theory could not have realized until put into action. I read a quote today from Jim Rohn saying, "Don't let your learning lead to knowledge. Let your learning lead to action". We can learn and theorize, but until we put theories and learning into action, they're useless. Theories are great, but they are only valuable if they're actioned. Your knowledge and ideas are great. But they should always lead to action or else they haven't fulfilled their purpose.

The job of the change agent is most difficult. They don't have mass appeal or support. But they have a vision or idea of how things can be better. They take unpopular positions. They live in a uncomfortable tension. They hold true to their idea despite opposition and pressure. Despite politics and others perceptions. The masses want status quo. The change agent wants better for the masses. Here is a nod to the change agents of the past, present and future. Of the present who will bring about a better future.

This is a very non-technical thought on this topic. There is way better test research and data on this topic, some of which I've read. But the question of how much an environment plays one ones development is interesting. Here are some question I have. Can ones environment stifle their growth? Can one environment stop their growth? Does ones environment dictate who they will be? Does a certain environment create a predictable outcome? There are no hard and fast answers to these questions because for each question there are both yes and nos. Certain environments may be restrictive to growth, but an adaptable person can still find ways to grow. But they may be max out to where they can grow to. Certain environments may have the conditions in which to turn out a person of certain typical characteristics. But it cannot guarantee the outcome. Certain environments can completely restrict growth once growth has reached a certain point. My conclusion is, despite envinroenmen...

You can: Resist change Shape change Embrace change Try and stop change Hate change But you cannot stop change. Your energy is best invested into shaping change and if you can muster it, embracing change. If you try and stop change, change will run you over. Better to run with change and do your best to shape it.

You can ask questions to destruct or to construct. Make sure your questions are constructive. Tough, uncomfortable questions can be constructive. A tough question does not mean it's destructive.

You can listen in order to: 1. Just hear 2. Understand 3. Learn 4. Appear interested 5. Change 6. Help 7. Speak Listening is so important, but the motivation behind the listening is equally important. The best listening motivations are to: understand, learn, change and help. This is because they make the listening activity benefit others, not ones self.

Or the older you get... 1. You realize you don't know that much. 2. You realize life is not black and white. 3. You realize and accept that life is not fair. 4. You realize people, not things, are what is important. 5. You realize life is short and you have to make the most of every moment given.

No, not everyone's "voice" is their real natural voice. Some peoples voice is poetry, for others it is some form of an action and for others it's singing, art or a multitude of things. The fact is, everyone has a voice and something to contribute. The saddest and most harmful thing is when someone has a voice, but doesn't use it. There is something called "the bystander effect".  Here is an explanation taken from Wikipedia . "The bystander effect, or bystander apathy, is a social psychological phenomenon that refers to cases in which individuals do not offer any means of help to a victim when other people are present. The probability of help is inversely related to the number of bystanders." When people cease to use their voices, it ultimately hurts other people. And the thing is, you will never fully know who you have hurt or let down. Not using your voice has consequences that cannot be quantified because they will never be known. You...

It's natural and easy to mistake the popular for the best. It's often not the case though. Popular usually means "easiest" not best. Best usually requires more than the popular belief, opinion or method. Be careful in adopting the most popular option. There are times when the popular option is in fact best. The key is to be mindful, always, and not fall into popular beliefs/opinions/methods by default.

There are two choices. 1. You can make a difference. 2. You can coast. The first choice requires more work up front. The second choice is harder over the long run, because you don't control what happens to you.

What we're known for may be entirely different than who we really are. Someone may have a bad rap, fairly or unfairly. Someone may have a positive rap, again, fairly or unfairly. Regardless of what you're known for, you don't need to be that person. Be the best version of yourself, end of story. If you're known to be a grump, don't accept that, be a better person. If you're known to be some thing else, good or bad, that doesn't quite resonate with who you really are, then don't be that person. Be who you need to be. Be who you should be. Not who others think or say your are. The "real" you isn't something definitive, because we're always changing. So let constant, positive improving you, be the definitive you.

If you haven't read part 1 , you may want to read that here first. There are groups who are varying degrees of critical towards the Millennial generation. From mild criticism to outright hostility. This is nothing new, this happens between most generations. The problem is, this type of dialogue will only create a larger gap between generations, rather than bridge it. Instead of levelling criticism, why don't we try and understand this generation, so we can bridge gaps and move forward with them. Millennials, like every previous generation, are different. There are a lot of good qualities found in Millennials, I am not going to write about the the criticisms levelled at this generation as it will not move the dialogue forward. The only consideration I will add regarding criticisms of Millennials is this: of the criticisms levelled at Millennials, who do you think made them ________? (insert criticism in the blank) My answer: Probably their parents generation. So here are ...

Don't assume pain and frustration are signs that you're doing something wrong. They very well could be signs you're doing something very right.

Its difficult or impossible to move forward while focusing on the past. Looking backwards, imitating or recreating the past is not a wise way to move forward. Forward progress requires forward thinking and vision. Stop worrying about what happened yesterday and think about constructing today for tomorrow.

Good is good enough, sometimes. Good isn't good enough, othertimes.  If you have good, but can have great, good isn't enough.  If you have good, but cannot have great, good is enough.  The saying says "perfect is the enemy of good". Sometimes you have to accept that something is simply good, not great. Sometimes good is just a stepping stone to great. Sometimes good is all you will get.  Set expectations accordingly or you will be disappointed. Or you will never do something because it isn't instantly great/perfect.  Most things do not start out as great. Some thing's don't even start out as good. It's a progression to get there. Learn to trust the process, trust your instincts and usually be patient.  Good is only acceptable when good is as good as it gets. All other times, good isn't good enough.  Unless you're okay with mediocre, which is worse than bad and worse than good. Mediocre is a rut that is hard to ge...

Purpose is a powerful thing. It has driven human beings to do major, earth changing things. People who find a purpose, are more fulfilled, happy and accomplish more. The real benefactors in these situations inevitably are others. One of the most valuable things you can give someone is purpose. Money, moral support and mere friendship cannot compare to providing someone with purpose. You can use the old fishing analogy. You can give a man a fish and feed him for a day, or you can teach a man to fish and feed him for the rest of his life. Purpose will feed a man for the rest of his life. If you're struggling to find your purpose in life, try looking outward rather than inward. What outside yourself gives you a sense of accomplishment and joy unlike anything else? That may be a key to finding your purpose.

Are you feeling sick? Google it to figure out what it is and how to remedy it. Need to fix your furnace? Google it and figure out how to DIY. How do you prepare a great speech? Google it for the best tips you can possibly find from the greatest sources. How many people live in Ghana? Google. The internet and technology had replaced things we previously had to either use a encyclopedia for or rely on an expert for. The expert had effectively been replaced. Except, google cannot replace someone with knowledge and experience specific to you. Your family doctor knows your medical history. Your furnace repairman knows the historyof your furnace... A speech coach knows you and what you need to work on specifically. A friend or mentor knows you better than an article online could. You cannot replace real knowledge, experience and wisdom with information and technology.

I've observed a lot of people reach a point in life where they feel to have figured it "all" out. Once this happens, little to no learning can happen. At no point in life can we stop learning. We cheat ourselves and those within our influence if we stop learning. If we stop learning, we stop growing, they are directly connected. This may be some of what Steve Jobs meant when he gave the advice, "stay hungry, stay foolish".

Why do we so often choose to see problems when we can see good or see problems as possibilities? The outcome will be determined by our outlook. Or, how we're looking out from within ourselves.

This post may make no sense, the onus is on me to articulate my thoughts to my audience. If this doesn't make sense, my thoughts have little value. The value is in articulating our thoughts. It is the job of a speaker, parent, boss or leader to articulate vision. If there is no vision, there is no purpose. If there is no purpose, people will not grow. The same can be said if there is no articulation. 1. Vision 2. Articulation 3. Action 4. Followup 5. Listen/assess/adjust 6. Repeat the above

Because we are complex beings, it is challenging to get and maintain good health. Its not so simple to balance everything in our busy lives while maintaining good health. We are spiritual, emotional, physical beings. What does it take to be healthy then? There is no magic, simple answer to good health. It takes work, maintenance and lifestyle changes/habits. Health isn't an activity or task, it's a lifestyle. Eat good,  drink good,  think good, play good, rest good, work good, exercise good, speak good and love. It's not easy to maintain good health, but it's sure a lot easier than living unhealthy.

Knowing your audience is so important. This extends beyond merely public speaking engagements. This extends to your circle of influence. To your immediate family. Really it extends to anyone your in communication and contact with. Everyone is special and unique. You may need to adjust your message, tone and even medium depending on who you're communicatiog with and what you're trying to communicate. A good speaker reads their audience before speaking. A good communicator reads their subject before speaking and has great listening skills. (listening skills do not mean simply hearing what someone is saying, that is not a skill. listening skills mean understanding what someone is saying, and furthermore trying to understand their position, not just their words, also known as empathy)

A good recipe: be stubborn on the vision and strategy and flexible on the details and tactics. - Jeff Bezos Music changes constantly. Good music doesn't date easily. Bad music dates quickly. But in both cases, music changes. Music changes as people change. But the end result (or in this case, the vision) of making the listener feel something has never changed. Methods and styles have changed, but the vision hasn't. Companies with a clear vision are successful. People with a clear vision are successful. Life will teach you that, on the way to accomplishing your vision, unexpected challenges will arise, but they never deter from the vision. They only require flexibility on the current tactics and details. You cannot go through life without some thing circumstances that cause you to be flexible on details and tactics. Changing tactics and details is good compromise . Changing vision is bad compromise . Not having a vision is fatal.

Really means,  "I'm not used to that" or "I don't understand that". We say we like something because it's what we're used to, therefore usually making any alternative bad. It's not binary though. What we're used to may be as good or better than what we're accustomed to. We just don't know until we're willing to step out and try something new, something outside our comfort zone.

A safe way to predict something's (or someone's) future is to examine the history. That is, unless there is a significant shift or change. A significant change can render the past unuseable in predicting the future.

There are two fundamental ways in which you can live your life. 1. Reactive. Live in constant response to all that happens to you. Essentially the thinking behind this way is that you don't have control of things. 2. Active. Take control regardless of what happens to you. The thinking behind this option is that regardless of what happens to you, you still have control of things. The outcomes between the two approaches are vastly different. Those who take control and ownership of their life and all that happens to them will have a far happier and more successful life. Those who live in constant reactive mode are usually angry, disappointed and unfulfilled people. The difference between option one and two is simply a decision and taking ownership of your life. Not accepting that what happens to you controls you, but rather you control yourself regardless of what happens to you.

If you're swimming against the current, it may be a great thing. Majority doesn't always win. Majority is not always best.

I've been seeing the word courage a lot recently. I've read a ton of really great definitions too. It seems to be that courage has a lot to do with overcoming fear. Fear of peer pressure. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the future. Fear of your past. Fear of stepping out. Fear of backlash. Courage seems to always lead to action. Courage acts. Fear freezes action. You could say anyone who is doing something good and positive is courageous.

Pleasing people is an impossible business. What makes one happy makes another sad or another angry. Those who care most for us should be a valuable sounding board. Those who care for themselves and want us to fulfill what benefits them should be ignored. That is the key difference. People who love you want what is best for you. People who love only themselves want what's best for them. You can spend your life trying to please everyone and never will accomplish it. Make those whose love you, happy and pleased.

Along your journey or even throughout each day, something or some things will go wrong. Do not allow these things to derail you from your journey. They're expected. So expect them and embrace the challenge of dealing with things that go wrong. When things go wrong a couple things happen: 1. Who we really are is shown. Who we really are comes out when things go wrong, not while they're going right. 2. It allows our plan to adapt to reality. Sometimes we have a plan or make an assumption something is going to go a certain way, buy reality dictates something different. Adapting to the change allows the plan to conform to reality. 3. Usually something new is learned. There is usually a lesson to be learned. People who learn this lesson make life so much easier on themselves and grow much quicker.

Today in doing my inventory of things to be grateful for, I realize the "things" I'm grateful for are not in fact things, but rather, people. The "things" I'm grateful for pale in comparison to the people I'm grateful for. So I want to give thanks to everyone I am connected to. You're really what I'm grateful for.

It's thanksgiving weekend in Canada. I don't even know where to start when thinking of all and who I'm grateful for. So many people have influenced me. I have so many things to be grateful for. If you can read this, you have much to be grateful for. It means you have access to information, electricity and most likely proper food and shelter. You have everything you need to be successful. Be grateful for what you have. Gratefulness precedes happiness.

We will fight so hard to prove ourselves "right" and thus proving someone or something else "wrong". But I think the important thing is less about being right or wrong, but rather about being "true". True to ourselves. True to our core values. True to our vision and dreams. True to those dependant on us. If you're working at being "true", being "right' or "wrong" is less important.

There is a mold we all need to adhere to, a common decency it could be said; of how to be a good, caring human being. But that mold has expanded and depending on who you are close to, a lot of other expectations to be a certain way are forced on you. There are people who expect you to be just like themselves, rather than who you should and need to be. If you don't already know though, it's okay to break the mold. You will certainly disappoint some people, but that is okay. Those who truly love you will still love you. If people didn't break the mold, the world would be a far worse place. The need and reasons for uniformity are becoming fewer and fewer. Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr broke the mold. Albert Einstein. Steve Jobs. Jesus broke the mold. It's okay. You probably won't accomplish what you want and need to if you are held within the mold. (Do I need to add a caveat that breaking the mold for bad or simply rebellious reasons is unwise and pro...

What is your motivator? Like what really is the driving force behind everything you do? To become famous? To become rich? To survive another day? To change the world? To raise your children to the fullest potential? To work in order to effect change? Your underlying motivator will dictate a couple things. 1. Where you are heading (obviously). 2. If it leads to disappointment. What determines the end result of your motivator is, if your motivated by yourself or by others. The point here is, if you're living for your own self, to figure out how to benefit and make yourself great, there will ultimately be disappointment. Some of the richest, most famous people in the world are the most lonely and dissatisfied. But if you're living for others, there is much satisfaction to be had as you realize your successes. It's never too late to adjust your motivation. Adjust to work towards external things, rather than focus on building yourself up. Of course it takes...

Fear of failure is often what holds us back from doing something. And fear isn't exclusively a bad thing. Fear exists to keep us in check, it keeps us from doing obviously illogical things (hopefully). But fear has this ability to grow beyond what it should be. You don't even have to feed it much to keep it alive, well and growing. Knowing when to listen to our fears and to ignore them is something we should continuously strive for. So should we be afraid of pursuing our dreams/goals/passions? Usually no. We should be more afraid of never realizing our dreams, never trying to attain our goals and never following our passion. Following your passion should be an absolute path to success, whether the passion is drawing, writing, making music, hiking, speaking, singing, creating, science, math, arts, teaching.... On and on. Relentlessly following your passion is always a good idea. And I say relentlessly because as you pursue your passions and goals, there will be roadblocks ...

If you have a talent, skill set or idea, do it. Don't wait to "be discovered" by someone else already doing it. Once you've discovered your passion, go do it. I'm not referring to discovery in the way of fame. Chasing fame is one of the worst decisions a person could make. (Take a quick inventory of the famous people you know of, almost always, they are not people you want to be. Humans aren't designed to handle fame) You can wait a long time for things to "come to you". And we know good things come to those who wait. But when it comes to using what you've already got, don't wait. Use your talents and passions right now in whatever the appropriate capacity is. The capacity may change as time goes on, but for sure the appropriate capacity isn't burying it until later.

A large portion of things that are irritating, bothering or even stressing you out, won't be remembered in days, weeks or possibly a years time. You won't even remember most of the little stresses. Running late for a meeting, meeting a deadline, having that difficult conversation, completing that project, on and on. Those things won't even be remembered, so they're not worth stressing over.  Almost always, everything works out okay and you find a way, no matter the roadblocks. Lost job, financial stress, challenges... you're gonna figure out a way through and look back on them someday. So don't put undue stress on yourself.  There's a book out there about Dont sweat the small stuff.  Details are important. But don't stress over small things that you can be confident will work out okay. 

The benefits of a community extend within the community itself, but the real benefits should be to those outside the community. If the community is healthy and functioning properly, its focus will be outward. There are huge benefits in being part of a community. But these benefits should be used to strengthen the community so it can ultimately benefit those outside the community. The point of community is less to strengthen the members, but more for the members strength to strengthen those without.

It is difficult to hear critical people, if they aren't doing anything. I'm referring to people standing on the sidelines voicing their criticisms. These people should have little say or little influence, because they're not involved and do not realize what is really going on in the trenches. Next level up is the critics who are involved and voice their criticisms. We want to dismiss these people, because of the negativity coming from them. These people at least have some level of experience to back up their claims and concerns, or what you could call criticisms. Now, I am fighting hard personally to be a positive person, and this blog is part of that effort. I am not endorsing negativity and criticism. However, I think it's easy to dismiss critics outright because of their tone or our resistance to being criticized. There is very much something known as constructive criticism. Even if you have to look through the tone the criticism is delivered in. A major thing ...

Thank you to the artist, Propaganda, for the thought behind this post. There is something beautiful in and through pain. Something about it unmasks the individual and you often get raw, authentic humanity. The mask and pretending can be dropped. I don't think we need to always try to bury and hide our pain. It's part of life. Why pretend everything is okay, when it isn't? Pain usually leads to growth. There's something beautiful about that. Scars carry a certain beauty, showing you survived and grew. They show you've learned something and in some way become stronger. Struggles and pain are part of humanity , pretending they don't exist robs us of some lessons and beauty. There is much to learn and much to gain in going through the struggle and the pain. It may never be fun, but if we learn to embrace the opportunity for growth, the pain will be less. Beauty isn't in pretending or hiding. Beauty is in being real and coming out the other side of the ...

Why assume when you can ask, investigate or confirm? There's a time for trusting our gut instinct. That's when we don't have the luxury of performing due diligence. All other times though, do your due diligence. Your work quality will reap the benefits and rewards. Assumptions are shortcuts. Shortcuts are lazy and end up costing rather than paying.

Because you always have done something a certain way is not a good reason to keep doing something a certain way. Working in technology, I come across this problem often. People get comfortable doing things a certain way and are adverse to change, even if there are far better (cheaper, more efficient) ways. At some point, these people will be forced to change and adapt as their current method will stop working. I think this has application on a wider basis though. If you insist on doing something the same way, there is no room for improvement, for improvement forces change. If you're not improving, you're in maintenance mode , which is just a slower method to the bottom, or the end of something. "Because I always have" is a better excuse to change rather than to continue. Imagine if you refused to upgrade your wall phone, because you always have... Imagine if you refused to get an email account, because you always have... Imagine if you refused to use the...

Every human comes with imperfections. It's what makes us human after all. It also is what equalizes us, making no one better than another. It's the great equalizer. Knowing that that person next to you or even that person you look up to came with essentially the same amount of imperfections as yourself, can by a huge relief. They may have figured out how to overcome the imperfection(s) though, and so can you. Let's drop the pretences that we're better than someone else. Let's drop the pretences that we have it all figured out. Let's drop all the pretences and accept our humanity, and accept others humanity. Thinking someone is less than you, only marginalizes yourself, not the individual you're attempting to marginalize. (Obviously we shouldn't accept hate, and other evil things that come from people with problems, but we can still accept their humanity through it. There are unfortunately bad people in the world and we do not accept the bad thing...

This isn't by any stretch an original thought. Life requires balance between three key areas: work, rest and play. If your life balance is super deficient in any of these three key areas, the other areas will be negatively affected. So, take time to rest. Take time to play. And naturally, work. If you're unhappy, tired or burnt out, chances are there is a deficiency in one area or another, or even multiple areas.

The most impactful healthy choice that everyone could make today is simply to stop negative thinking. Our thinking impacts our health in a profound way. If we could train our brains to ignore negative thoughts our lives could change. With every thought that's negative, ignore it until it became a habit and way of life, to ignore negative thoughts. Starve negative thinking until it dies. Positives thinking is the healthiest choice you can make today. It may be hard, but will become increasingly easier as you starve the negative thoughts.

Passion is vital. Passion is necessary to success. But passion on its own leads to chaos. Riots and violent protest are often the result of misdirected and improperly channeled passion. That same passion channelled could lead to what Martin Luther King Jr. was able to do with his peaceful protests. Passion needs channelling. Passion needs to operate under guidance, doreaction and planning. Psssion is the fuel needed to attain great things. But you can waste fuel if it isn't used properly. Use your passion with wisdom and care, for a purpose.

Yesterday's post was a thought experiment about pursuing your goals. It may have been unfair to many people who had to take care of the mundane the previous day. It was only a thought experiment though :) In follow up, if the tasks you completed the day before were nothing exciting or particularly meaningful, that's okay. I think the key would be, how did you tackle the tasks that were in front of you. More than the tasks themselves, this will tell you more and be an indicator of where you're going. Hard work mixed with some smart work, pays off. So in doing the mundane, did you exhibit the qualities needed for where you're going? Or did you half heartedly go after your day? If you give your best, no matter the task, you will get to where you want to go. The saying says, "if some thing is worth doing, it's worth doing well."

First, recall what you did yesterday. Now, if you repeated that every day for the rest of your life, would that take you where you're trying to go? Of course this isn't an entirely fair thought experiment, but what's the harm in the exercise :)  How many days can you miss working towards your goals without effecting the timeline or end results?

It is kind of a strange realization to come to, but... At this point in life (maybe it will change later on), if I had the opportunity to go back and avoid some of the hardest things I've been through, I think I would still choose to go through them.  Thinking about some of the situations and circumstances that have been the most difficult, the amount of learning and growth that came from them is too much to pass up. They were hard to go through and I likely hated being in the middle of it, but these things have provided invaluable growth and experience I otherwise may not have gained. I'm learning to embrace difficult things as they come to me. It doesn't mean I like or love them, I just now see the value in going through them. 

Ego can be responsible for us overstepping and thus crashing. Ego can equally be responsible for not stepping out at all. Both have the same basic end result.

The companies that succeed are the ones that are always in search of what's next. Companies that rest on their accomplishments inevitably die. Possibly slow, but resting on their accomplishments will start their downward trend. Something interesting about the worlds most valuable company, Apple, is they pay little to no heed to their past. A lot of large technology companies have museums dedicated to their past products, I've been told. Apple however, has nothing of the sort. And this is intentional. Looking back or just being happy with what you have already done is a huge mistake. If you're looking back on what you've done, or down on what you've just done, you won't move forward. On the same note, repeating what you've always done will get you the same results. I have seen companies double down on what they have always done, and it get's them increasingly declining results. Progress requires change. Change requires leadership and planning. I...

You are the average of your closest friends. I'm quite confident, if you think of your closest friends and their traits, you are very very likely to have similar traits and interests. Birds of a feather do actually flock together. Make wise choices in who you spend time with. Choose friends that bring you up and challenge you to be better. If your flock isn't heading in the direction you want to go, find the flock that is. They're out there.

The general public perception of your values, morals and character. Shifting the general public perception of these things is like turning a ship around. It doesn't take long  to damage your reputation. It takes a long time to build it though. Build your reputation in a manner that is based on solid principles and morals as a foundation and don't compromise those things. Ever. Without solid morals and values, your house will shift and break.